


Consequences

by Mortisha



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Bendemption, F/M, Leia Organa Lives, POV Ben Solo, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Leia Organa, POV Poe Dameron, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, TRoS Spoilers, Tros fix-it, i just have a lot of feelings, this is not really a fix-it but could be considered such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 74,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22160575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mortisha/pseuds/Mortisha
Summary: COMPLETE:A mother reaches out to her son and finds the strength to keep on living to see him come home. The foretold Dyad in the Force finds the strength to make a stand and change the course of their futures forever. What will happen when mother and son reunite? Will the prodigal son be executed for his crimes, or will he be acquitted?This story is a TROS fix-it that aims to be as canonically accurate as possible but with two deviations – General Leia Organa-Solo lives, and Ben Solo lives.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 218
Kudos: 336





	1. Turning

Ren felt the pull to the dark the moment he stepped out of his fighter and onto the ruins of the Death Star. It was intoxicating and sickening all at once. Ever since his first connection with Rey in the med bay on Starkiller Base, he could not deny the pull he had to her and to the light. They were a dyad in the Force, she and him, and her light almost felt like a part of him. The darkness in him was beginning to waver, and it was harder to keep his mask of indifference.

This was the true reason for why he had the black mask remade. He told himself that it was to further separate him and his power from his subordinates. He told himself it was to advance the fear of 'the monster'… but he knew he was slipping. He was no longer driven to do what was required of him as Supreme Leader. He knew from years of practice how to act his part under the careful eye of Snoke – it was how he was able to fool him before his death – but now it felt like he was always pretending, and he was always disgusted with himself. The dark side of the Force no longer fulfilled his deepest desires. It was just a fix. He was only an addict – an addict that now hated his addiction.

As Ren stepped further into the wreckage, he let the feeling of Rey guide him in the Force. He noticed that he was also following the dark. The other Wayfinder was here, he could feel it now. He knew that the Emperor had hidden one, just as Darth Vader had on Mustafar, and the clue she found on Pasaana led her here. He idly wondered if he should have searched for the other before he went to Exegol, but it was too late for that. Now he had to deal with the consequences.

He stopped at the edge of a room to listen. The Force was thrumming with dark waves from the direction of the door at the other side. It was intense and slightly overwhelming. The light that too often made its way forward in his mind began struggling at its suffocating effect. A lightsaber activated, but he could not see her yet. Something made him decide to wait. Whatever was going to happen would happen soon enough.

As if in answer to his thoughts, the passage to the next room opened and Rey stumbled out, falling onto her back as she tripped. She dropped the emperor’s Wayfinder and it tumbled toward him. He caught it.

The two Force users stood to face each other, and Kylo stood impassively as Rey ignited her saber. It was the darkest he had ever felt her in the Force. Her darkness was heady and potent, and he had to fight to not get sucked under it. This was exactly where she needed to be when she turned to meet him in the dark side. This was what he wanted… wasn’t it? Why did it make him feel sick?

“Look at yourself,” he said. His words fell on deaf ears. She stepped toward him. “You wanted to prove to my mother you were a Jedi, but you’ve proven something else. You can’t go back to her now,” he said. “…Like I can’t.” He refused to acknowledge that his voice broke at the mention of _her._

He waited for her response.

“Give it to me,” she hissed.

Kylo gasped as if she impaled him. In a way, she did. The darkness emitting from her pulsed directly through their bond in the Force and threatened to freeze his thoughts. It ached in more ways than he was willing to admit. But he could use this. He could make her see now that his side was where she belonged. He just had to make her see that she closed all options to her, except this one.

“The dark side is in our nature,” he tried to reach her again, “Surrender to it.”

“Give it… to me,” she repeated.

Everything about her was coiled like a snake ready to strike. All she needed was a red blade to go with the power in her gaze. But Ren refused to let this undermine him. He would remain in control here.

Ren lifted the Wayfinder. He knew that the kind of power she was seeped in stole every ounce of reasoning. It was a power trip he knew well. Her focus would not be swayed until the Wayfinder, the center of her focus, was out of the way. He needed her with him.

“The only way you are getting to Exegol is with me.” He bent the Force to his will and used it to crush the device in his hand.

The tension in her body snapped as she screamed at what he did. She charged him, swinging her weapon with as much power she could muster. In an attempt to break her streak of madness, he dodged her attacks without igniting his own weapon. But she would have none of that. Her assaults became faster and more driven. She pushed her anger into him through the bond and when he finally blocked her lightsaber with his, the darkness surrounding its addict crushed his resolve and he had to give in.

Their fight was brutal in a way neither experienced before. Once Ren gave into the control of the darkness, he completely forgot about the light. They were one in the Force. They pummeled each other in cruel, Force-strengthened strokes that fed on each other’s blackness.

The duel led them out of the wreckage and into the spray of the wild ocean, but neither noticed. The focus was solely on their opponent and on the kick and pull of the dark side of the Force. Ren barely even noticed FN-2187’s attempt to get to Rey until she forced him back.

They were too equally matched. The connections to the deepest parts of each other would not allow for one to be more powerful than the other in the Force. But Ren did have one advantage. His physical endurance could carry further. With the harsh pace of the fight, she was beginning to tire, and he pushed that advantage.

In one charged blow, Kylo knocked his opponent to the ground and kept her there, completely driven by the darkness to finish what they started. He never stopped to consider the consequences of what would happen in the aftermath of his final blow. Her saber dropped. He would end this.

As his arm lifted to bring it down again, Kylo felt a blinding burst of light from the Force punch inside him from somewhere across the galaxy.

He stilled and a voice called out to him.

_Ben._

_Mom!_ His mind reacted to her as helplessly as it did to Rey.

_She is not your enemy._

Her words ringing in his head made him finally comprehend what he was doing. He dropped his weapon in shock. As his saber fell, Rey took the advantage and caught it. She ignited it with a scream and drove the blade up through is chest.

The effect was like ice; three beings were paralyzed for a moment across the galaxy. Rey gasped as she felt the connection of a mother to her son between their bond. “Leia.”

On the other side of the galaxy, Leia’s connection to her son faltered in his sudden pain. She lost the fight in holding it. Many arms of the Resistance fighters around her lowered her to the ground as she lost consciousness.

Kylo Ren’s chest was still frozen as his eyes found Rey’s. She finally snapped out of the dark raging through her and disengaged the weapon. With nothing holding him up, his body crumpled as it fell to the wreckage.

 _So this is the end_ , he thought.

He always knew it would end this way. He never deserved anything better than death. As he vainly fought to get air into his lungs, something new found him in his dying moments. He found regrets. He thought of his mother and regretted never speaking to her again. He thought of his father and regretted killing him. He thought of his life and his decisions since the night at the Jedi temple, and he regretted his actions. The face of every being he killed flashed in front of him and he regretted them too. But he mostly regretted every moment not spent with Rey.

All of these things passed over him in a flash, leaving him in despair and a cold acceptance. This was nothing more than he deserved after everything he had done. In his halting thoughts, he barely registered Rey’s hand on his chest, but he did notice her light.

Rey's blinding light began to seep into his body and mind. He wondered if this would be the only mercy he received as he died. But instead of feeling his life fading, he caught his breath again, and his mind raced to catch up with what was happening. The pain in his chest ebbed slowly from its sharp burn, and his mind, suddenly free from pain, was able to process what she was doing. She was giving him _her life Force._ She was _healing_ him. His thoughts stuttered to a screeching halt.

All he could do was feel. It was like his entire being was being put back into place as the wound in his chest closed. He felt his aches and pains ebb way and the ability to fill his lungs was euphoric. Then he felt Rey, herself. The bond was completely open, and he saw her as raw and exposed as he was. She was a kaleidoscope of spinning emotions that he could barely keep up with. He felt her fear, pain, shame, and remorse. But he also felt something else that was strong and warm, and he couldn’t understand it.

When she opened her eyes and met his, the only word he could think was “ _why?_ ”

Instead of answering that question, she answered another. “I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.”

Without another word of explanation, she took her saber and left him to deal with the aftermath of his collapsing world. He vaguely recognized that she took his ship.

Kylo Ren still felt like he was gutted and bleeding out. But another part of him, the part that desperately wanted to cling to the light, realized that it was his darkness that was bleeding out of him. Kylo Ren panicked and tried to find the place of mind that consumed him only minutes earlier with power and numbness. But the light inside him, the light she ignited, would not let him smother what he felt.

A near death experience will make anyone stop to think, but Kylo Ren had so many of these that he learned long ago not to pay attention to the call of it. Thinking was dangerous. It brought out the fight in him between the light and the dark. It was easier to just deny it battle.

_Why can't I ignore it this time?_

_His mother,_ the other part supplied for him.

She must have foreseen this. In the midst of their battle she reached out to _him_ , her monster of a son, and pushed her love in to break the spell the darkness had over him. He felt her still, a steady hum of confident light that he purposefully carved out of him when he took on his name. Her actions just now had reconnected him to her.

_But why?_

His wounded darkness lashed out. _You know why. They only show you attention…,_ he rallied the old defense, _they only care to stop you, because you destroy what they love._

At any other time before this, the fight from the light inside him would relent and back down. But this time, there was a new response.

_But I felt her love... Why am I destroying myself?_

Kylo Ren felt his world tip a little further into the light. _No!_ He squeezed his eyes shut as the truth of this new thought gripped him. He fought to hold onto his anger. His anger would keep him grounded in the dark. It was too little and too late from his mother. He had to believe that. _No one could love him_

_… except Rey._

_NO!_ He screamed at himself.

He could feel the hope at such a thought and fought to destroy it. He held on to his hate.

_She doesn’t love you, she can’t!_

However, his mind had already made the connection of what he felt from her to those memories long buried of belonging and feeling safe. He felt it as a child with his parents. He even felt it in the Jedi temple from his peers before that terrible night - before Snoke twisted it. It was different somehow from his mother’s love, and he still didn’t understand it, but he couldn’t push the thought from his mind once he made the connection.

Kylo Ren was floundering under the weight of the light. He was losing his grip on his anger and hatred as they gave way to new hope. Fear was all he had left. He could use that. He called to mind again all the regrets that tormented him and reminded himself that he would have to face all of these if he let go of the dark. He would have to face everything he had done and suffer the consequences.

The light in him was quelled. As much as he wanted to fight this fear, he didn’t have the courage. He was being torn apart. Again.

_When would it end?_

He didn’t remember doing so, but he somehow stood and was now standing on the edge of the wreckage facing the waves below. 

“Hey kid,” a voice called from behind him.

He would always know that voice. While Kylo Ren fought not to turn, the other part of him took control in his desperation for help. He met the eyes of the man who was his father. He knew this wasn’t real; it couldn’t be. It was just a memory of their last moments projected by the Force.

“I’ve missed you, son,” the apparition said. How that statement was a flame to the fight in him. Hope burned just a little brighter as the implications of this memory hit him.

 _Had his father really missed him even then_ , he thought.

“Your son is dead,” he said. The words sounded empty in his own ears. It was a lie that escaped from the reflex of memory. He knew it, and the vision of his father knew it.

“No,” said Han, “Kylo Ren is dead. My son is alive.”

 _But it can’t be that simple_. “You’re just a memory,” Ren said.

Han smiled like it was that simple. “Your memory.” They both knew Kylo was losing this battle. “Come home.”

“It’s too late,” He tried. “I can’t face her after…” _killing you._ He left the last bit unsaid, but his father heard it anyways.

“I might be gone, but your mother, what she stands for, what she fights for… that’s not gone.” Han looked his hurting son in the eyes and pleaded one last time. “Ben…”

That name broke the last bit of resolve Kylo Ren had. He had to let Kylo Ren go. _Let the past die. You don't have to kill it. Just let it go._

He met his father’s eyes. “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

Saying it out loud made what he was about to do real. He was scared and couldn’t stop shaking. _What if I can't do this? What if I can't let go?_

His father’s hand came up and held his cheek as he did on that fateful day when the dark won.

“You do.”

That was enough. His hand lifted his lightsaber. He felt the cracked red crystal inside and the darkness in him that named itself Kylo Ren. This was how it happened. Kylo Ren _would_ die today, just not how he thought. But there was so much still that he wanted to say. The emotions in him burned but all he could find was one word…

“Dad…”

A smirk made its way to Han’s face. “I know.”

With a new resolve, a new hope, a new strength, and a new life, Kylo Ren breathed his last and Ben Solo cast him and his lightsaber to the graves of the ocean.

And it was finally quiet.


	2. Treason

Poe, Finn, and Chewy trudged through the underbrush after exiting the Millennium Falcon on Ajan Kloss. Poe was brooding with the knowledge of what he had to report to the General. He didn’t want to be the one to cause her more heartache, but he resigned himself to it. She needed to know that Rey fled to who-knows-where. He felt sick. Could this day get any worse?

Commander D'Acy’s voice pierced his thoughts as she rushed to meet them, “Poe, something’s happened.”

While Poe slowed a bit, Finn and Chewy didn’t break stride.

“Finn…” she tried to stop them.

“This can’t wait,” Finn told her as he passed.

“We’ve gotta see the General,” agreed Poe.

“You can’t,” the Commander said.

Her words finally had the desired effect, turning all three to her attention. “The General…” she trailed off, unable to find the words to explain.

Poe’s stomach dropped to his shoes. He stepped toward her, anger and worry coloring his words. “What happened?”

…

“Allegiant General,” a young corporal addressed his leader.

The man addressed stood quietly on the bridge of the destroyer, gaze never leaving the view of the planet and moons below. His calm, yet foreboding presence demanded nothing less than perfection and respect from his subordinates. He was very much unlike the previous General whose passionate displays were often ridiculous and immature.

“A call has come through from Exegol sir,” the other man continued. “The Emperor wishes to speak to you privately.”

The old general turned at the relayed information. An eyebrow raised in amusement at the fear he saw in the commander. “I will take it in the conference room.”

When the door was locked behind him, Pryde lowered himself to one knee and bowed his head. He activated the holocomm.

“General Pryde,” greeted the Sith. Even through the systems, Pryde could feel the power behind the voice and he worshiped it.

“What might I do for you, my Lord?”

“Where is Kylo Ren,” the Emperor asked.

“He tracked the scavenger to one of the moons in the Endor system,” he reported. “He took his private craft with orders to wait in orbit while he retrieved her alone.”

“Kylo Ren has betrayed the dark side,” said the Sith.

General Pryde looked up to the great, hovering face before him. His face allowed no emotion. “My Lord?”

“In his attempt to turn the girl, he has fallen to the light,” the Sith Lord continued. “I have felt it. He is weak, but the girl has proven her strength. Do not stand in her way when she comes to me. I have called off the Knights’ hunt and returned them to my ranks.”

“Understood, my Lord,” said Pryde.

“The Princess of Alderaan has disrupted my plan, but her foolish act will be in vain. Come to me on Exegol, General Pryde.”

Pryde raised his head, eyes glowing eerily blue with the hologram’s reflection. “As I served you in the old wars, I serve you now.”

“Send a ship to a world they know. Let it burn,” came the command. “The Final Order begins. She will come; her friends will follow.”

“Yes, my Lord,” Pryde bowed his head. “What of Kylo Ren?”

The Emperor did not immediately answer. Curiosity raised the Allegiant General’s eyes once more.

“Kill him.”

…

Ben Solo could breathe again. It was as if a vice that he refused to recognize suddenly loosened its tight grip on his mind. After years of learning to breathe within the constraints of the vice, taking in air unimpeded made him light-headed, almost giddy.

His thoughts… were calm. He was so used to drowning, fighting to stay above the waves, and now… he was floating on the light.

 _How have I forgotten this_ , he wondered.

Ben took a long, slow breath in and let the light side of the Force fill the deepest parts of him. It brushed away the cobwebs and dusted off the deepest memories he had repressed. While he floated there, he allowed those memories, old quirks, and the basis of his personality that he thought he killed slot back into place.

It was odd – being able to find a foothold within his own mind. Kylo Ren never had that; he was always charging forward on shaky ground, unable to stop even for a second. At the thought of his pseudonym, Ben clenched his fists hard and reminded himself to breathe.

 _Let it go_ , he told himself.

Moments passed and he calmed again. He refused to lose himself this time. It would take work and a patience he was no longer practiced in, but he could do this.

He turned to assess his situation and come up with a plan to get off of this hunk of junk. He had two options. The first was that he could find an abandoned fighter in the wreckage of the Death Star and hope it wasn’t waterlogged after so many decades. The second was that he would have to face the First Order and hope no one would recognize his change.

Not liking the sound of the latter, he made his way back inside to try to find an old hanger that was still above the waves. Once he got off this planet, he would have to decide where he would go next and what he would do.

He should turn himself over to the Resistance. He should offer any information he had on the First Order and the Final Order. He should offer his services in their fight, and then he should resign himself to whatever fate they decided for him. He found it surprisingly easy to resign himself to that fate. 

He forced his mind back to the situation at hand. The wreckage was an absolute mess to navigate and he was beginning to think that all of the hangers with old fighters didn’t exist – or, more likely, they were in the pieces that crashed to the other moon of Endor and he was stuck here. 

“Supreme Leader…” a voice hailed from the comm he carried. “Supreme Leader, Come in.”

Ben groaned. He thought he would have more time to come up with a plan. It looked like he would have to start winging it. He let his annoyance bleed into his performance.

“I thought I made it clear I was not to be disturbed,” he barked into the device.

“Sorry, Sir,” the voice said. Static broke up much of their words. “Our scanners tracked your personal fighter and another ship leaving the system. We have been trying to make contact but we’re having trouble with interference.”

Ben squeezed his hand around the comm and pounded the fist into his forehead. It seemed he would have to play the part of Supreme Leader a while longer.

“Sir…” the voice on the other side jolted him into action. 

“I am in the bowels of the Death Star wreckage, delta-three-six, transient-nine-three-six, bearing three-two, near the southern shore,” he cut them off, quickly making his way to the surface. “The scavenger stole my ship. Send my shuttle for transport.”

“Yes, sir.”

By the time Ben reached the outer shell of the old station, he saw his shuttle’s boarding ramp lowering as it hovered over the ruins. He knew they couldn’t land so he used the Force to propel his leap on board.

The moment he stepped into the bowels of the ship, he reached out with the Force – eight troopers and a pilot. He paused. Something felt wrong.

“Sir,” the pilot acknowledged him from the helm. The troopers stood at attention.

“Report,” he said. His stomach roiled as he stepped further into this pretending.

“We tracked your TIE fighter leaving the system in the direction of the outer rims. All comms were turned off, yet your personal signal still came from the moon’s surface. The other ship to leave was the Corellian YT-1300f light freighter, Sir.”

“Did you pursue?” Ben’s hand plucked at a thread fraying from the hole in his vest. When he caught the pilot watching, he straightened to his full height and demanded an answer through his glare.

“No, sir,” the man said. “It seems the Resistance fighters were able to remove the tracking beacon we placed on their ship before take-off.”

Ben smothered his relief. It was strange to feel such things for those he considered his enemies only hours ago. Yet here he was.

As the shuttle drew closer to the destroyer’s hanger, Ben’s feeling of unease steadily grew. He closed his eyes and reached out with the Force but still couldn’t place the threat.

The shuttle landed and the troopers exited the vessel. Ben stayed where he was. He felt the threat surrounding him now, confirming that he was definitely in trouble. It was a new feeling and it was starting to aggravate him.

“Sir,” the pilot said before exited. “The Allegiant General is waiting to speak with you.”

There was a nudge in the Force and Ben now understood that the threat somehow came from the Allegiant General. He wondered at the timing of it. Kylo Ren had always known the dangers of being the Supreme Leader – not only did your enemies wish to kill you, but the covetous subordinates as well. Allegiant General Pryde was not one to disobey orders. Unlike Hux, this man knew his place. He did not expect a sudden coup from the man, unless…

Ben’s stomach flipped as he realized that Pryde would overthrow him at the order of Palpatine. In the general’s mind, the Sith Lord was the superior to the Supreme Leader.

_He knows._

Snoke always knew his thoughts – always stripped him of any sense of privacy. If Snoke was the puppet, how much more did Palpatine know? Ben focused his energy on calming his breathing and centering himself. He just needed a plan.

He had a ship. That was a good start. And he was the only passenger. That was good too. But then, as if someone read his thoughts, the alarms began to blare for the closing of the hanger doors. He could do nothing but cause suspicion if he belayed the order to close them. And now he was trapped.

Ben slowly made his way to the exit ramp and reached out again with the Force to assess those outside. From what he could guess, an entire platoon waited for him. He also felt Pryde and a few other commanding officers.

He really was starting to wish he had a lightsaber. But he still had the Force. They did not. Ben immersed himself in it, letting it heighten his senses, enhance his precognition, and fill him with peace despite the circumstances. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have to defend himself. Maybe he could still use Kylo Ren’s supremacy to his advantage.

He had a bad feeling about this, but there was no point in delaying the inevitable. He plodded down the ramp, halting at the bottom when he felt the familiar sensation of the ship jumping to hyperspace. He languidly took in the armed troops around him and met the Allegiant General’s eyes.

“Quite the welcoming committee for such a short mission, General," he addressed the man. 

Pryde was unphased. “Kylo Ren…” he began.

“‘Supreme Leader’ will do, Pryde.”

Ben watched the other man slowly appraise him and… was he smiling?

“Where is your lightsaber?” Pryde asked.

_Uh oh._

“Why have we jumped to hyperspace?” Ben tried to keep control of the exchange, “I gave no such order.”

“This vessel,” the general gestured grandly, “along with the entire fleet of the Final Order, are under the command of the Supreme Emperor Palpatine. Because of your actions in aiding the scavenger and the Resistance fighters to escape with vital information, you are charged with high treason. By order of the Emperor, you are hereby stripped of the title of ‘Supreme Leader’ and sentenced to death.”

Ben felt the future now, solid and real in the Force. He had only a second to decide what to do. He concentrated like he never had before.

“Fire.”

Even as the word left Pryde’s mouth, every blaster was yanked out of the troopers’ hands, flying, and crashing to the floor just out of reach. No one moved.

Ben felt his face settle into a smirk. “Did you think it would be that easy?”

It was at once the right and wrong answer to give. With it, Ben freed himself from the charade, but the Allegiant General took up the challenge.

“What are you standing there for?!” he shouted.

His words broke the spell of stillness. Troopers began diving for their weapons and chaos erupted.

Ben called one of the weapons to his hands. He ducked on instinct, two or three bolts missing him by inches. Ben’s grip on the Force was strong and centered. The bolts he was not able to dodge were deflected by his hands into the floor or walls. He used the blaster to take out the troopers that were the closest threat.

As Ben turned to run up the ramp into the safety of the shuttle, he heard Pryde’s voice.

“Do not let him escape!” Pryde ordered. “We have our orders! Kill him!”

One of the troopers threw a grenade inside, cutting off that route. He used the explosion to his advantage and dove for cover under the ramp. In the second of cover, he calculated the distance to the nearest hallway and sought a distraction.

The soldiers were still firing and closing in on his position. He used the Force to slam the three closest to him to the ground. He pushed them back in three different directions - bodies parallel to the floor like large rolling pins, knocking over and tripping most of the troopers behind them. In the slight pause of weapon fire, he sprinted to the nearest hall.

General Pryde watched the display and turned to address the commander closest to him as he quickly left the hanger. “Put the ship on high alert. Kylo Ren is to be shot on sight.”

…

Thankfully, hallways were easier to defend and maneuver in than the large, open space of a hanger. It also helped that he knew them like the back of his hand. This was familiar ground to him. He knew where all the cameras were and he knew all the hiding places, which is currently why he found himself hiding behind the trash shoot in a laundry room. Two storm troopers were milling around the industrial washing machines. They were too occupied to notice the mayhem outside.

He had no doubt that the ship was headed back to Exegol. Allegiant General Pryde would step into command over the fleet, and it would be the end of the galaxy as they knew it. He needed to end this. It was the least he could do for the galaxy after… everything.

The closest hanger would have a number of TIE fighters available for him to commandeer. But he had to get there first, and only when they were out of hyperspace. Not to mention, he would have to shut down the shields and open the hanger door.

 _No problem,_ he groaned to himself.

He looked down to his clothes and decided he would need to change. He removed the damp cloak and vest. The hole in the under-sweater again caught his attention. It made him think of Rey and the consequences of her healing him. He wished he could see her again if only to thank her properly. So much had changed in his mind since then. He wondered what she would think of him now.

Ben cut off his train of thought again, pushing himself into action. He found a captain’s jacket and a cap. He briefly considered the anonymity of a storm trooper’s uniform but finding one that would fit him would waste time. Besides, he had enough pride left to not want to be caught dead in one, and with his day was going the way it was, he could very well be caught dead.

 _Now for a distraction_...

Using the Force, Ben opened one of the large dryers in use and pushed the spin to top speed. Tons of uniforms began flying out of the hatch. He tried not to laugh at the two panicked workers as he slipped out of the room.

The former Supreme Leader made his way to the remote command room. He seamlessly switched between the commanding persona of the stolen uniform and slinking in and out of the shadows. The cameras patrolling the hallways and rooms around him were crushed with the Force before he could be seen, and small distractions sent troopers in the opposite direction to investigate.

He stopped as he felt the ship drop from hyperspace. A distant feeling of darkness brushed his mind – Exegol. His heart then skipped a beat at another feeling –Rey.

 _She's here?! Am I too late?_ He made himself move faster.

At last, he arrived at the docking tower above the hanger. He peeked around the doorway and saw six soldiers on duty. He concentrated on each of their minds.

“You are all needed elsewhere,” he said as he waved his hand over them. He watched all six cease their activities and file out of the room in a daze. He shut the door behind him and wasted no time programming the shields and bay door in the hanger below.

“Did you think it would be that easy,” the voice of General Pryde mocked through the room’s comm system. The Force guided him to focus on a lone camera in the corner of the room.

Ben straightened as he felt the presence of at least eight storm troopers flooding into the tiny control room. Reaching into the Force again, he waved his hand over all of them as he pushed, “You see no one here.”

Ben held his breath and he waited to see if his stunt worked. He never Force pushed more than six beings at once.

The lead trooper pressed his comm. “Sir, there is no one here.”

“You weak minded fools!” the General’s voice cried. “He is right in front of you! Open fire!”

Ben waved his hand again over them, “He already left. You need to search the next quadrant of the ship.”

The leader spoke into his comm, “He already left, Sir.” He turned to his fellow troopers. “Tell the others to search the next quadrant of the ship.”

The storm troopers nodded and turned to leave. Ben could hear them telling the reinforcements to continue their search. He couldn’t help the smile as he looked into the far camera.

Pryde’s voice was low and deadly. “You will not leave this ship alive, Kylo Ren.”

“You are forgetting something, Pryde.” The lead storm trooper repeated everything Ben said through the comms.

Ben turned and hit the last few keys on the computer to reset the weapons’ systems. Through the window, the alarms began blaring in warning for opening the hanger door. The shields were set on a timer to lower in three minutes.

He spun and pushed one last thought for the trooper to repeat.

“My name is Ben Solo.”

And Ben Solo ran.

He climbed into the closest TIE fighter just as they found the override to the hanger door. He took off with a speed attributing to his namesake and blasted through the closing door at the last second. The laugh that escaped him was new and exhilarating.

He did it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the transition between the Endor system to Exegol was believable. Rey had so much time with Luke, that there needed to be something of an adventure for Ben to get to Exegol when he did. I also wanted to answer the question of why Pryde was the unquestioned leader in the battle and no one mentioned Kylo Ren. Hopefully, this chapter did that.
> 
> Comments are welcome!


	3. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off, can I just thank all of you who have read this, left kudos, or left comments?! It makes my heart happy!!! :) Now back to the good stuff...
> 
> This chapter rewrites the scene in the throne room. I changed one course of action that diverts the entire story line. Again, my goal was to keep it as canon as possible while certain characters live.

“I gotta tell you, I don’t really know… how to do this… what you do.”

Poe sat in vigil beside General Organa. She was still unconscious, and the medics on base didn’t know what was wrong. One of the nurses told Poe it was likely something to do with the Force and she would recover in her own time.

He wished she would recover now. He knew that he was being selfish, but he was desperate. So much had happened – Kijimi’s destruction being the most recent catastrophe in a matter of hours. Now the entire Resistance was looking to him, Poe “Acting General” Dameron, for instruction.

“I’m not ready,” he told her.

“Neither were we,” a voice said. Poe turned to find General Lando Calrissian entering the med bay. “Luke, Han, Leia, me… who’s ever ready?”

“How did you do it,” Poe asked him, “defeat an empire with almost nothing?”

Lando placed a comforting hand on Poe’s shoulder. “We had each other. That’s how we won.”

“Ben…” Leia’s voice softly called. Poe immediately drew his eyes back to her.

“General?” Poe called. There was no movement from the woman on the bed.

“Let her rest,” Calrissian said. “She will wake soon enough. In the meantime, I think you have a battle to plan.”

Poe stood and squared his shoulders. He needed to find Finn.

…

The Resistance leaders were gathered to finalize the plans to the attack on Exegol. By some miracle, everything was coming together. Rey was able to show them how to get there. Rose was able to analyze a weakness in the fleet of destroyers. And the _Millennium Falcon_ would be sent throughout the galaxy to bring help… hopefully.

“…They’ll come if they know there’s hope,” Poe was saying as he stood beside newly-appointed General Finn. There were murmurs throughout the ranks.

“They will!” he said with more conviction. “The First Order wins by making us think we’re alone. We’re not alone! Good people will fight if we lead them.”

“Leia wouldn’t want us to give up,” Finn continued, “so we won’t. We’re going to show them we’re not afraid.”

“What our mothers and fathers fought for; we will not let die.” Poe looked into the eyes of everyone around him. “Not today. Today we make our last stand for the galaxy for everyone we’ve lost.”

“They’ve taken enough of us,” Finn agreed. “Now we take the war to them.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Leia Organa’s voice rang out from the back of the crowd. The fighters parted to make way for the General. She leaned heavily on her cane, but her eyes were bright and her spirit strong.

“May the Force be with us all,” she said.

…

It was surprisingly easy for Ben to get from the Star Destroyer to the planet’s surface. While the ship’s weapons were resetting, he had enough time to get out of range, and his stolen fighter easily blended into the formation of TIEs deployed to meet the Resistance that made it to the planet. He would worry about that fight were it not for the urgency in the Force that called to him from the surface.

He made sure to land as far from the entrance of the Sith’s lair as possible in hopes that his presence would go unnoticed. He got out of the cockpit, threw the stolen cap and jacket in the seat, and checked the blaster. Once more he lamented the absence of a lightsaber, but he shook himself out of that.

He would never use a bleeding crystal again.

Not allowing himself to think about how stupid this was, he ran to what might be his doom. At the entrance, he stopped to take in the antique x-wing. It was a stark contrast to the world around it. He felt Rey’s presence inside the Sith temple, and it became his only motivation to get to her. She shouldn’t face the Emperor alone.

Ben ran as fast as he could through the crack in the Sith structure and leaped into the shaft where the Emperor’s labs and throne room waited below. He tried to slow his fall with the Force, but still smashed into a large chain harder than anticipated.

“Ow,” he groaned. He would have a brilliant bruise later.

Sliding the rest of the way down, he could feel the presence of a few Praetorian Guards. They were closing in on him so Ben drew his blaster while he ran. He didn’t even look as he blasted two of them. However, whatever luck that had gotten him this far seemed to be running out. 

He felt the presence of the Knights of Ren before he saw them. Three of them blocked off his way to the throne room and he turned to see the other three at his back. Despite what the troops of the First Order believed about them, the knights were never his friends. They were an order built on taking everything the dark side had to offer and were only loyal to him because of his connection to the Shadow. Kylo Ren may have been their master, but Ben knew that they could see and feel the change in him. There would be no talking to them; there would be no mercy.

As they circled him, he considered his line of attack. The blaster would do no good. Even if he got in a few shots, their armor would stop them and they would immediately overwhelm him. They were also much more attuned to the Force than any other warriors he knew. He was sorely at a disadvantage, but he would damn well try.

Ben centered himself in the Force and used it to push one of the knights off his feet. He swerved and ducked under the first blow, the second blow, but the third blow landed. As each knight passed, they took their turns beating him into the ground.

Then the knights abruptly backed away as if to gloat over his weak defense. Ben pulled himself up. His ribs and face were throbbing. His breathing was labored. He could see no way past these men, but he swore he would go down fighting. He would not stop trying to get to Rey.

_Rey._

She was suddenly there – standing not three feet in front of him. And she was breathtaking.

Ben completely let down his guard in the bond. He needed her to see how he changed… for her. The way she looked at him nearly made him forget about everything else. In a moment she knew everything about how he got there and his predicament. He saw her situation with the Emperor and what she was being forced into. No words were thought. Their intentions were one. He knew what they had to do.

The smallest flicker of agreement passed over her face. _Together?_ she asked.

His head made the slightest nod. _Together._

“Do it,” echoed the voice of the Emperor through the bond.

As one, they lifted their hands behind their heads – Rey’s with the Legacy Saber, Ben’s empty. The moment Ben gripped the lightsaber there in the Force, the bond closed.

 _I’ll see you soon,_ he promised her.

Ben brought his arm down again with the weapon in his grip. He watched in satisfaction as the knights took a step back from him and the saber seemingly pulled from nothing. He let some of his long-buried attitude bleed into his shrug.

He attacked.

Ben Solo’s style with a saber was nothing like Kylo Ren’s. While Kylo Ren’s was forceful, staccato, and blunt, Ben’s was a deadly dance caught between something graceful and frenzied. Soon it was over; the Knights of Ren were wiped out by their former master.

Ben ran to the throne room. 

It took mere moments to assess the situation there. Rey had wiped out nearly all of the Praetorian Guards. The last one charging her only made it halfway before Ben grabbed him with the Force and slammed him to the ground. He walked to her side and thanked the Force that he made it to her. She found his eyes and he saw in them the same relief that he felt. They were two lights in this dark, dark place – two lights as one.

Together, the Jedi turned to the monster looking on them with disdain. They readied their lightsabers.

Emperor Palpatine’s original plan may have been foiled, but that did not mean he wouldn’t win. He saw the two before him as young, inexperienced, and foolish children compared to him. It was time for all of this nonsense to end.

“Stand together, die together,” the old monster promised.

With precision and strength that the young Jedi were only just learning, Palpatine’s power knocked their sabers from their grasp and dragged them to their knees before him. The Emperor would end this in a way that was most beneficial to him. If he could not turn them to the dark, then he would take their Life-Force as his own. It was an arcane power that few in Sith history could ever achieve. He drew in the first taste and reeled back in shock at the sheer magnitude of power that flooded him.

“The Life-Force of your bond –” the monster spoke, “a dyad in the Force. A power like life itself – unseen for generations.”

Ben watched in horror as the Emperor’s gnarly fingers reformed. Both he and Rey knelt, helplessly frozen. Their bond was quaking between them, fighting the hold over them.

“And now, the power of two restores the one true Emperor.”

Palpatine gleefully plunged back into their bond, forcing its power into his bones. Ben could hardly think past the pain. The bond was on fire, like white hot lighting tearing him from within.

But there was another tug in his awareness. Rey’s hand was reaching toward his. At once, he knew what she thought. They were the conduits for this power, this bond. They could control it… together.

Ben thrust out his hand and met hers. Once their hands touched, the connection gave them enough clarity to pull back. As one, Rey and Ben lifted their hands and with a mighty heave, the Force suspended between the three of them snapped. The energy discharged from the explosion knocked all three to the ground.

Palpatine’s deep laugh was the only sound as Rey and Ben helped each other to their feet. The Sith Lord stepped forward without the use of his machine, reveling in his new use of limbs. He studied the duo like a predator studies its prey.

“Look what you have made,” he rumbled in satisfaction. “You may be stronger together,” he laughed, “But it will be your undoing.”

The Jedi moved to flank the Emperor.

“If I cannot defeat you together, then I will tear you apart.” Palpatine’s head jerked towards Rey and she was propelled backwards into the nearest wall. Ben raised his arm to slow her speed, screaming her name as he did. She collapsed to the stone floor like a broken toy. He had no way of knowing how seriously she was injured.

He forced himself to face the Sith Lord again, calling his lightsaber to his hand. Palpatine’s look of glee fell to hatred when his eyes found Ben’s. The Emperor’s hand shot out and lightning erupted from it. Ben’s saber blocked the stream of current, but he could feel the strain in his arms as he tried to reflect the beam back. His mind flashed to Rey and the first time they fought on StarKiller. When she was nearly beaten, she centered herself in the Force, pulled in its strength, and turned the tide of the fight.

Ben took in as long of a breath that he could. He let it out. He felt the Force stronger than he ever had before. The Sith saw his efforts and acted to distract him. Palpatine raised his other hand, and another stream of lightning drove Ben’s saber from his protection.

Instead of succumbing to the power of the attack, Ben’s outstretched hands _caught_ the lightning. It took all his focus, but he could feel himself absorbing and dispersing the energy of the attack back into the Force. And yet as he felt this, he also felt exhaustion. The effort was draining him, and quickly.

As if sensing Ben’s weakness, the Emperor increased the intensity of the bolts.

“So falls the last Skywalker.” He taunted.

Ben’s feet were sliding backwards. He knew wouldn’t last more than a few seconds. The power was just too much, and he was losing his concentration.

“ _Ben,”_ a voice called out to him. He didn't recognize it, but it felt familiar. “ _It will be alright.”_

The full intensity of the lightning slipped past his defense and struck him, sending him flying across the throne room. His head snapped back on the floor, and he knew only darkness.

…

Rey came to consciousness slowly. First there was feeling, then light, then sound. Her whole body ached, and she tried to remember what happened. She was hit, or at least she thought she must have been. Why else would she hurt the way she did?

She groaned and tried to look around her. Through her wavering sight, she saw a streak of lightning. Palpatine. And Ben! It all flooded back. She knew she had to help, but her mind and body were at a discord.

Rey slowed her breathing and focused on the Force. She would try one last time to reach those whose time had passed. Her eyes stared up through the open ceiling at the fight between the Resistance and the Final Order.

“Be with me,” she pleaded.

A breath.

“Be with me.”

Time slowed.

Her sight went past the battle to the stars. They were all there, waiting for her. She heard them calling her.

_"These are your final steps, Rey. Rise and take them... Rey... Rise."_

_"Rey... Bring back the balance, Rey, as I did...”_

_“Rey.”_

_“Rey.”_

_"The light. Find the light, Rey."_

_"Every Jedi who ever lived, lives in you... We stand behind you, Rey... Rise."_

_“The Force surrounds you, Rey... Let it lift you.”_

_"Let it guide you."_

_"Feel the Force flowing through you, Rey."_

_“Rise, Rey.”_

_"Rise in the Force, Rey."_

_"Rey, the Force will be with you. Always."_

Even as they spoke, she opened herself to the power they offered. Rey felt strength in her body, her soul. She stood to her feet just as Ben was hurled to the ground. Leia’s lightsaber flew to her hand.

The Emperor turned to her next. “Let your death be the final word in the story of Rebellion.”

He raised his hands and sent sparks of lightning out from them. She blocked them with the saber.

“You are nothing,” he said.

She grunted and angled her saber a bit more. The spray of lightning from Palpatine’s hands was now reflected back to him.

He felt it hit him, and he changed the attack, ripping the saber from her hand again. Everything stopped.

“A scavenger girl is no match for the power in me,” he cried. “I am the Sith!”

He brought his hand up and reached for her neck through the Force. As she was dragged forward, she silently called the lightsaber back to her. His hand physically closed around her neck just as the saber hit her palm. She ignited it, thrusting it straight up through his chest.

“And I am the Jedi,” she said.

The Emperor’s eyes showed shock, but it quickly melted into a cackle. Rey felt the warning in the Force, but it was too late.

Palpatine had called the Skywalker saber to them and ignited it as it stabbed her in the back.

She thought she heard a voice cry out, but the hum of the blue blade protruding from her chest drowned it out. She glared at the dying Sith and pulled Leia’s blade upward with the last of her strength. She split Palpatine’s chest in two.

And then Rey fell.

…

Ben gasped for air when he woke. His nerves were still constricting painfully, and his head felt like it was bashed in. He pushed himself up as much as he could and tried his hardest to make his vision stop swimming.

He was able to notice two things. One: Rey was alive. Two: she was holding back lightning from the Emperor.

His vision grayed for a moment, and when he looked again, there was no lightning. Rey was flying into Palpatine’s outstretched hand. Then there was a flash of blue - her saber embedded in the monster’s chest.

Another movement caught his eye. His grandfather’s lightsaber was flying past him. As if in slow motion, he tracked it, but he was powerless to stop it from stabbing her through the back.

“NO!”

Before he knew what he was doing, he was hobbling toward her. He pulled strength from the Force to keep himself upright. He blearily watched as she ripped the Sith in half, but then she was falling. He reached out with the Force to disengage the saber that ran her through and caught her just before she hit the ground.

She was still conscious. He tried to gently position her in his arms, but she gasped anyways. Ben had never experienced sheer panic for someone else before, but that’s what he was experiencing now. He couldn’t lose her. She saved him. She was the only one who believed in him in spite of everything. His eyes teared up as he stared at the smoking wound in her chest.

The feeling of her hand on his face brought his gaze up to hers. There was a quiet smile there, and his heart shook. As she began to go limp in is grasp, he found a resolve inside himself that would never let her go – no matter what the cost.

Acting purely on instinct, he placed his hand on her stomach and poured his Life-Force into her just as she did for him only hours ago. After what felt like an eternity, her hand came up and grasped his, breaking his concentration, and leaving him shaking with exhaustion. She sat up and padded her chest where the injury used to be, lifting her eyes to his. His relief overwhelmed him. She was alive. _She was alive._

“Ben,” his name on her lips sounded right.

Her hand on his face felt perfect. He wanted to hold her forever… he loved her, but he still held back. The knowledge of who he was and what he did, especially to her, made him feel unworthy.

But she surprised him. She pulled his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and said everything unsaid. When they parted, Ben felt the light in him explode. His smile was just as blinding. But he was so tired. Against his will, his body went lax. He didn’t know if he gave too much when he healed her. When he closed his eyes and fell back, he didn’t know if he would open them again.

 _But it was worth it,_ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I wanted to give Rey and Ben a bit more of a fighting chance against Palpatine, so i used their bond to redirect the fight early on. Hopefully, that diversion from what happened in the movie made sense.  
> -In order for Ben to NOT give his life to bring Rey back from the dead, she needed to "die" from something other than channeling "all the Jedi," and he needed to heal her before she actually died. So I redirected that and, again, I hope the results made sense.  
> -Also, Anakin was the voice that spoke to Ben (I might touch on that later :))
> 
> Comments are welcome!


	4. Surrender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's all new from here! Thanks again for all of you who read, leave kudos, or comment! I love you all!

The first thing Ben noticed was the sharp stinging in his cheek. A hand was shaking him. He resented whoever it was trying to drag him back to consciousness. The pain and cottony feeling that stuffed his head made him want to fall back into oblivion.

“Ben!” a voice called out. “Ben! Please, wake up!”

Whoever it was sounded so far away. He tried to pry his eyes open when another slap to his face reoriented him to the waking world. His eyes snapped to the woman’s above him.

“Rey?” he whispered, “I’m alive?”

He watched Rey sigh in relief. “Yes, Ben. You’re alive.” His heart fluttered at her smile, but he thought it faded too quickly.

“Ben you need to get up. They’re coming,” she said as she tried to drag him into a sitting position.

She clipped Leia’s saber to her belt, and he felt her clip his grandfather’s to his.

“What?” he asked. He felt like he was moving in slow motion. “Who’s coming?”

She gestured to the outer arena. “The Sith worshipers or whatever they call themselves. They aren’t happy.” He followed her gaze to the figures in black. They were moving slowly and seeming to vanish from the arena into unseen exits, but he could feel the intention of threat from them.

He pulled the Force to him for extra focus and clarity as Rey helped him stand. When his feet were stable underneath him, he caught sight of the body of the former Sith Lord lying a short distance away. Anger flooded him, but this anger felt different somehow. The monster could not be allowed any chance to return. His instinct in the Force pulled something out of the depths of his abilities and he focused it at the deformed figure.

The body of the Emperor burst into flames.

Ben felt Rey startle at the new manifestation of power, but she rallied and pulled his arm over her shoulder to steady him. They had to go. He could feel the mob of followers getting closer, but he couldn’t see from where.

They were quiet as they made their way back through the dark laboratory, neither sparing a glance at the machinery. In the cavern beyond, Ben felt Rey slow as she took in the defeated Knights of Ren, but then she pressed onward. They had just a bit further to go to the stone slab that would take them to the surface.

The two Force users moved faster, hoping that their exit would not be cut off. The stone that would lift them out of there was 300 yards away… 250 yards away… 200…

Ben felt rather than saw one of the dark side followers beside them with a knife in hand. Rey used the Force to push them back. Ben pulled his arm from her support and unclipped his saber, and she unclipped hers as they continued to run; the enemy quickly closed in around them.

Ben pushed with the Force and began to lift the stone slab that would take them to the surface. He ignited his saber just as Rey ignited hers and they cut through the few followers that stood between them and the lift. Both Force-users leapt to the rising stone, but one of the dark disciples jumped on too, and others were hanging from the edge. Ben watched as Rey made short work of them.

He concentrated, his hand outstretched, and the stone moved more quickly to the surface. The moment they reached the top, a sudden shift in the Force screamed its warning. Rey and Ben turned to see the far side of the temple crumbling - a large Star Destroyer crashing into it. They ran through the crack in the fissure as the destruction sped to towards them.

The two finally made it to the entrance but they kept up their speed. Once at a safe distance, the two turned to watch the structure crumble unevenly in the crash. The x-wing that Rey came in was too close and was covered with debris. Rey looked sad at that.

“Luke’s old x-wing,” Rey said.

Surprised, Ben looked to where the ship was. He wondered how she came by that thing. He also wondered how it was able to function enough to get her here if it was, indeed, that old. His uncle may have been a great pilot, but his methods of ship maintenance were questionable at best. He was grateful that she wouldn’t have to fly it anymore.

“Ben?” Rey’s voice pulled his attention.

Her hand steadied him. Only then did he notice he was swaying, and she looked worriedly at his head.

“I’ll be alright,” he assured her with a small smile. “I just need rest.”

She smiled back but didn’t look completely convinced. “How did you get here?”

He gestured to the place where he hid the craft. “I stole a TIE fighter. Over there. It’s a two-seater.”

She followed him in the direction of the ship. “You stole it?” she asked.

“It’s a long story,” he said. His hand went to his head that was throbbing handsomely. He realized his hands were shaking. Rey saw it too, but thankfully, she didn’t mention it.

“So, what now?” she asked instead.

 _What now, indeed_ , he asked himself.

Ben knew that the moment would come where he would have to actually face… everything… and everyone. The continuous conflict he dealt with from the wreckage of the Death Star until now had kept him from over-thinking thus far. He thought about his decision to cease being Kylo Ren, and it seemed like years had passed since then.

“Ben?” Rey pulled his arm to stop him.

“There’s no point in putting things off,” he responded, “You should take me to the Resistance fighters and turn me over to them. I’ll surrender peacefully, offer up any information I can to help end this.”

“Ben, you don’t have to,” she shook her head. “Not right now, anyways. We can go somewhere, lay low for a while. The Resistance fighters can wrap things up. Then we’ll tell Leia.”

Tears filled her eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“If you go to them now,” she said, “they might execute you. Just… wait a bit.”

Ben sighed. He knew she would understand the seriousness of his predicament. He placed a hand on her cheek, and she placed her hand over his. When he looked into her eyes, he found the strength to do what was needed. He could move past the fear that threatened to topple him.

“I can’t,” he said, “waiting will only make things worse.”

Rey looked stricken. He watched as anger, defiance, and ultimately, sadness crossed her features. A tear slipped down her cheek and he brushed it aside with his thumb.

“Hey,” he lifted her gaze to his. His smile was soft. “I know what I have to do.”

Unlike the other times he said those words, this time he was somber, resolved. What came next would change everything about his life, but he would do it. He would pay for everything he had done if it came to it, and he knew very well he might have to.

Rey may not have liked it, but he could sense that she understood. She gave a short nod and wiped her face as she turned to the fighter.

“I’m flying it,” she said. He thought about arguing, but his head still didn’t feel right. He just climbed in after her, mind in a fog, and wondered when everything that happened would actually catch up to him. He sat in the co-pilot seat, back to hers, and she went through the motions of take-off.

“Comms are to your right,” he told her, putting his own on. “You’ll need to let the Resistance fighters know you’re you.”

They were both silent as they took off and reached a low cruising altitude. Destroyers were falling left and right out of the sky. Ben looked on in grim satisfaction. They had both been too close to become the leaders of this dying army. He also observed the immense number of Resistance ships of all shapes and sizes from across the galaxy. It made him think of his mother and her stories of how she, and Han, and her brother helped to defeat the Empire.

 _Evil cannot live when people come together in hope,_ she said to him. _Evil is lonely._ He saw how right she was now and felt ashamed.

“Hello, can anyone in the Resistance hear me,” Rey’s voice cut through his thoughts on the comm. He saw that she had the comm system on an obscure frequency. “Hello, anyone from the Resistance, can you read me?”

After a few moments of silence, she tried again. Ben stayed quiet. He would let her call the shots.

“This is General Dameron,” a male voice finally replied. “Who is on this frequency?”

“Poe!” Rey sounded happy to hear him. “This is Rey! It’s so good to hear you!”

Ben wasn’t surprised to hear that Poe Dameron was a general now. He was a strong pilot and fighter, and he resisted all the torture the First Order threw at him but his own.

“Rey!” Poe shouted. Ben winced. “You made it! I knew you would! Is Palpatine dead? We saw the destruction of the temple from up here.”

“Yes,” she reported. “The Emperor is defeated. He won’t be returning. Nor will any of his followers.”

The sounds of Poe’s laughter could be heard through the link. “You did it! Rey, we can’t thank you enough! You saved us!”

“It wasn’t all me,” Rey told him. “I had help.” Ben bit his lip.

“Well, whoever helped you has my thanks!” Poe cheered.

 _That will change,_ Ben mulled to himself.

“You can tell me all about it when you get back to base,” Poe was saying. “Where are you?”

“I’m in a stolen TIE/SF below the battle. I’m requesting safe passage to base and protection from friendly fire,” she said.

“Copy that,” Poe replied. “Hold your position while I find a ship to escort you. Standby.”

The comm went quiet again, and Ben couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him.

“Are you sure about this,” Rey’s voice was barely above a whisper.

He sat a moment in silence debating what to say to that. Before Ben could come up with an answer, the comms came back on and a familiar voice patched through.

“This is the _Millennium Falcon_ , the voice said. “Rey? Come in. This is Lando Calrissian.”

“General Calrissian,” Rey greeted. “I’m so glad you made it. Is Chewie there too?”

They heard Chewie growl his own greeting.

“What? Finn is with you?!” Rey asked.

“He ran off the side of a Star Destroyer and we had to pick him up,” Lando laughed.

“Is he alright?” Rey asked.

Ben felt like an outsider listening in. He had to remind himself that, he would never fit in with these people, that he was used to being alone.

“He’s fine, kiddo,” Lando assured her. “But what about you? Poe said that the Emperor is dead. That must have been one helluva fight.”

“I had help,” Rey told them. “In fact, I’m not alone. I’m bringing him in with me.”

There was a long pause on the other end. Ben clenched his fists.

“Alright,” Calrissian broke the silence. “I think it’s time to get going. Send us your coordinates, we’ll escort you back. And stay close.”

Rey sent the information and just a minute later, the _Millennium Falcon_ was approaching from the battle. Ben watched as his father’s old ship passed over them and then turn about to fly in formation with the TIE fighter.

He glared at it. “Piece of junk.”

“Ben!” Rey scolded. 

“What?”

“That’s your father’s ship!”

“So?”

“And it just so happens that I pilot that ship on occasion,” she said indignantly.

“That doesn’t say much for you.”

He was amused at her sputtering behind him.

“You’re impossible,” she finally said. He just grunted in agreement.

The journey back to the Resistance base was uneventful. Rey just locked onto the route the _Falcon_ was following. She was silent, and Ben wasn’t in the mood for forced conversation. During the flight, Ben categorized his injuries to keep his mind occupied with anything other than the present. His head injury was by far the worst. He was dizzy. His hands were still shaky from fighting a persistent nausea, and it was hard to resist closing his eyes and falling asleep. He definitely had a concussion – probably a severe one.

Ben knew he had several bruises forming on his face, his side, and probably most of his backside. He hit the ground pretty hard in the temple. He also knew from experience that at least one, if not two, of his ribs were cracked from his encounter with the Knights of Ren. Overall, everything ached from overuse and exhaustion. The past few hours were fueled by adrenaline, and healing Rey took so much out of him. With the fight behind them, his body just wanted to crash for a while.

He would give anything for a soak in a bacta tank.

“Ben!” Rey’s voice jolted him. “Are you still with me?”

“I’m here,” he told her. He brought a hand up to hold his head. “I didn’t realize I closed my eyes.”

“We are dropping out of hyperspace,” she informed him. “Just stay awake. I’ll make sure you get medical attention when we land.”

His stomach twisted and he had to fight off the nausea again but for a whole different reason. He ran his hands through his hair, avoiding the growing bump on the back of his head, to try to make himself somewhat presentable. He didn’t really know why it mattered. He was still bloody and sweaty and dirty. No one cared about his hair, but it made him feel a little more in control of himself.

When they landed, he immediately began shutting down the controls from his side.

He heard Rey get up from the pilot’s chair and felt her lean around it to face him. She placed her hand on his.

“I’ll go first,” she said. “Just give me a few minutes.”

He nodded.

“Ben,” her hand moved up to his shoulder. “You’re not alone.”

He nodded again. Her hand started to slip away but he grabbed it.

“Wait,” he said. He unclipped the saber from his belt and handed to her, finally meeting her eyes.

Without another word, he heard her climb from the ship. When she exited, he could hear the cheers of the other Resistance fighters there to greet her. He heard their congratulations and he heard Rey’s greetings and happy tones. He could imagine their hugs and laughter, and he felt guilty that he would ruin her moment. She deserved more time with her friends and shouldn’t have to deal with him. He thought briefly that he would just wait here and hope no one would notice him, but that notion passed.

Ben Solo took in a few long, deep breaths, and when he heard the exclamations outside die down to normal chatter, he figured that now was as good as ever.

He stood and exited the craft.

When his feet touched the ground, he knew that there were eyes on him. He drew on the strength of the Force and pulled himself to his full height. He turned to the crowd that had grown quiet.

Ben swore he had never seen a more shocked group of faces in his life. In different circumstances it would have been comical. There were many he didn’t recognize, but a few he did. He saw General Calrissian and Chewbacca staring at him for the first time in years. He saw FN-2187… or whatever the kid was calling himself. Apparently, Poe Dameron made it back too as he was pulling himself from hugging Rey to watch the newcomer.

Dameron was the first to break the silence. “What the hell,” he said drawing his blaster and aiming it at Ben.

The other Resistance fighters who were armed followed their general's lead. Ben slowly raised his hands and tried to look non-threatening but he didn’t think he was succeeding.

Rey slowly moved in front of Poe’s blaster, and Ben did not like that one bit. He hoped the man wouldn’t be stupid enough to pull the trigger.

“Rey, what the hell is this?” the former Storm Trooper stepped up beside Poe, his blaster raised. “What is Kylo Ren doing here?”

“Finn, listen to me,” Rey put her hand on the side of his blaster. “Everyone, listen to me! This man saved my life. Without him, the Emperor would still be alive, and we very well may not have won today. This man is no longer Kylo Ren.”

There was silence as the company took in the new information.

“So what? Are we supposed to just… let him just walk,” Poe asked her, “Because that is not happening. I won’t allow it, not after everything he did.”

“Are you sure he’s not controlling you or something?” the girl next to Finn jumped in. She was small but looked fierce, very protective of Rey.

“No,” Rey shook her head firmly. “No, that’s not possible.” She tried to redirect the conversation. “Look, he needs medical attention...”

While Rey was attempting to talk down her friends, Ben’s awareness was drawn to the former FN-2187. He was scrutinizing Ben, and Ben was shocked to realize that he _felt_ him assessing him in the Force. He really looked at this man now, and everything about his betrayal to the First Order finally made sense. Ben wondered if the man was aware of what he was doing or if he was reaching out on instinct. Following his own intuition, Ben lowered his mental defenses so that he could read him better. Rey trusted the man, and Ben knew her trust was not easily misplaced. 

Ben watched as the other man’s face scrunched up in uncertainty, like he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to believe what he felt. He really hoped that the Resistance fighter could pick up on the fact that he wasn’t a threat to anyone here. If he had one person besides Rey believing that, then maybe things would be less likely to turn out badly.

The other Force-sensitive man slowly lowered his weapon. He found whatever he was looking for in Ben’s eyes. He turned to Rey. “I believe you,” he said.

“What?!” Poe’s voice shot through about three octaves in pitch.

“I said ‘I believe you,’” FN-2187 reiterated.

“No, no. I got that,” Poe said, “What I should have asked was ‘why.’”

The former trooper looked uncomfortable at the question. “I just do.”

Poe scoffed and gestured to Poe and Rey. “This is something to do with your little secret between you two, isn’t it?”

Now it was the other man’s turn to look annoyed. “When are you going to let that go?”

“Guys,” Rey tried to cut in, but the situation was quickly deteriorating.

“Well let’s see,” Poe continued undeterred, “since you suddenly believe that _Kylo Ren_ is a good guy, I’d say never…”

Ben watched as the small, dark-haired woman beside them try to calm the two men to no avail. Then Rey jumped in again. Another Resistance fighter added his opinion. And then everyone else was stating their opinion, yelling at each other, or attempting to control the situation. Some still had their blasters aimed at him, but others dropped theirs in the debate. Lando even tried to break things up, but Chewie was already passionately arguing against him. Ben didn’t know what to do here, but he figured he better not move if he didn’t want shot. 

The chaos ensued for a few moments, but it was abruptly cut off by an explosion. In the silence that followed every eye traced the source of the shot to a grenade launcher held by none other than General Organa. She passed the launcher to Threepio, the old droid that followed his mother everywhere.

“General…” Poe began as she made her way towards them.

“Shut up, Poe,” Organa interrupted him. “Don’t make me demote you again.”

The company remained silent as she stopped before the man who was her son.

Ben’s stomach dropped to his boots. She was old, but she still carried herself like the queen she was raised to be. She still commanded the respect of everyone she came in contact with. If he thought that the encounter with his father was painful, this was infinitely worse. He was afraid that the cascade of emotions in him would tear him apart. He tried to find his voice twice before it cooperated.

“General Organa,” Ben forced out. He took as deep a breath as he could. “As former Supreme Leader of the First Order, I surrender myself to the Resistance leadership and submit to their judgment.” As he continued his voice strengthened. “If any of my knowledge or skills can further their cause, I will give it without condition.”

Ben vaguely realized that the entire company of fighters was watching him now, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of his mother. Her eyes bore into his. He felt her in the Force and was surprised to feel her own storm of emotions – love, anger, happiness, sadness, shame, disappointment – but mostly love. Ever the stateswoman, she let none of this show on her face. She studied him, took in his injuries, and clothing, and the fighter that he came in. He let her take her time as he waited for her response.

She nodded her head, satisfied by what she saw.

“General Dameron,” she said. “Please escort our prisoner to the med bay. Find a medical droid to tend to his injuries. General Finn,” Ben looked up in surprise as FN-2187 stepped forward, “place guards outside whatever room he is in. No one leaves or enters without my permission.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” both men chorused.

At her order, Finn headed to the med bay. Leia turned to Rey, Chewie, and Lando. “I’d like to talk to you three privately,” she said. “Everyone else, get back to your duties.”

Ben watched her walk away, fully expecting her orders to be obeyed. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Rey followed behind his mother. She looked back to Ben and gave him a reassuring smile. Ben attempted to return it.

Pretty soon, it was just Poe, the small woman with dark hair, and another blond female commander left with Ben.

“So…” Poe started, “You plan on coming quietly? Or do we need to find cuffs and drag you there?”

Something about the pilot’s attitude was really beginning to irk Ben. He didn’t even try to stop the words that came out of his mouth.

“You know cuffs won’t hold me,” he said lowly. “Are you sure you can handle this? Perhaps you should get Rey or one of these women to take over since you are obviously nervous about controlling the monster.”

Poe glowered at him. He shook his head. “Nope.”

The Resistance General looked down to his blaster, fiddled with the settings, aimed for Ben’s chest, and fired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really felt it was important to establish that just because Ben changed his outlook on morality, it does not mean that his personality changed. He's still the same person (kind of a jerk at times) and the only one who sees the deeper levels right now is Rey (and maybe Leia.) 
> 
> As always, comments are welcome!


	5. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This next bit is all from Leia's point of view. I think it would have been very hard for someone like Leia to step back into the role of motherhood, especially when so many years have passed. 
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading this! I hope you all enjoy!

General Organa said nothing as she led Lando, Chewbacca, and Rey to her personal quarters in the Resistance base. She sent Threepio for a setting of caf and ushered the three of them inside. Rey was the last one to enter the room, and Leia could tell that she was distracted. She shut the door behind them.

“Rey,” Leia caught the attention of the young woman.

When Rey turned to her, she pulled her down into a gentle hug. It took a moment for Rey to respond to the embrace, but when she did, Leia could feel the emotion behind it. It seemed that the young Resistance hero was more affected by the recent battle than she let show. Leia knew that the first priority for the aftermath of Exegol was to sort out what happened there… and to figure out how to handle her son’s appearance.

The thought of Ben returning nearly broke the dam holding back her emotions again. It was like a piece of her was simultaneously healed and broken at the sight of him. When she saw Ben standing there – not a boy, but a man – her heart was shocked. She expected it – of course she expected him to be grown - but _seeing_ how much he changed was different than knowing it.

The man who surrendered to the Resistance was someone she hardly recognized. That man was a bred warrior – tall, filled-out, and rough. Leia knew that this was her son, but she was so angry that she missed his transition from a boy to a man. Even though she was so glad for Ben’s return to the light, she could not stop herself from mourning the loss of her little boy. Snoke took him from her, and she would never see that boy again. It hit her hard, just like it did when she learned of Ben’s fall to the dark. He was a stranger to her now, and as much as she wanted to hold him again, she knew he might not let her.

Leia pulled herself from her thoughts as Rey pulled away from her. “Are you alright?” she asked the girl.

Rey nodded as if it were an automatic response so Leia gave her a look saying that she saw right past it.

“I think I will be,” Rey said instead. Leia chose to believe her.

The General watched as Rey reached around her back and unclipped something. When she brought her hand around, Leia’s eyes widened at the site of her own lightsaber. It was a long moment before she reached for it. When her hand touched the weapon, the crystal inside hummed in greeting and a cascade of memories flowed from it through the Force.

_A young Leia sits frustrated in a cave full of kyber crystals, unable to find one that spoke to her. Luke left her to find it on her own after she said he was too distracting. Now she just wishes for his guidance. Tears begin streaming down her face in sorrow, and then she hears it – a sad song humming from one of the crystals. When she picks it up, it cries with her…_

_Leia runs through the jungle on Ajan Kloss. Her muscles burn from exertion as she makes her way through the obstacle course Luke set up. She is angry at herself that she has yet to complete it in one go. Luke says that this anger is what keeps her from finishing her training…_

_Years later, Leia is chasing her brother through the trees on the final night of her training. She is ready to become a Master. She stops to listen for her prey and centers herself in the Force, activating her lightsaber._

_The moment it activates, the world around her changes and she sees a man kneeling before her. He has a scar bisecting the right half of his face and in his eyes, there is such hatred that it knocks the breath from her. It is her boy, her baby, all grown up. Leia gasps as a blaster bolt from someone behind him ends his life. She looks down to her hand and drops her saber, never to pick it up again._

_The vision changes. The man who is her son is there, alive. He stands beside a woman whose face she cannot see. The woman holds Leia’s saber and Ben holds another – both blades glow blue._

_When the vision ends, Leia hears Luke’s footfall in the forest ahead of her. She knows what she has to do._

“Where did you get this?” the General asked the young Jedi as she shook the memories away.

Rey let go of the hilt and met Leia’s eyes. “Luke showed me where he hid it. He told me why you gave it up.”

The Resistance General suddenly felt very old and very tired. “Let’s sit,” she said.

Just as they sat around the small table, Threepio returned with the caf. She thanked the droid and told him to wait outside.

Leia poured the drinks for each of them, taking her time sipping her own to gather her thoughts. She was still exhausted from reaching out to Ben. When she felt the Force guiding her, she knew that everything was aligning for her son to finally make the decision that he needed to make. As she reached out to him, she could feel his mind and conflict stronger than any other moment before that. She was able to shake him out of it, but when she felt him impaled with his own lightsaber, his pain, shock, and crushing addiction to the darkness overwhelmed her. That alongside the fear that her only son was dying was too much. She didn’t remember anything after that until she woke up in the infirmary and had to play catch-up on the battle at hand.

“Rey,” she finally said. “Can you tell me what happened? I could feel you fight with Ben. I could feel his fight with the darkness.”

Rey bowed her head over drink. “I felt you too,” she whispered. “But it was almost too late.”

The older woman placed a comforting hand on her arm. She wished she could spare the young girl from reliving the past few hours, but life wasn’t always so fair. So, Leia just offered the support she could.

Rey took a few moments to rally herself and launched into her tale. She told them about finding the Sith Wayfinder in the wreckage of the Death Star. She told them of her duel with Kylo Ren and her fear of what she would become in her visions. She told them about returning to Ach To, and Luke, and her journey to Exegol. Finally, she reached the events in the Sith’s temple.

“…It was like I didn’t have a choice,” she was saying. “Palpatine wanted me to kill him. I would strike him down in anger and rule in his place. It was the only way to stop his fleet from wiping out the Resistance. I thought it was the end… that no matter what I chose, it was inevitable. But then…”

Rey paused. Her eyes focused on something far away and a small smile reached her lips. “Ben was there. I… gave him his grandfather’s lightsaber and he helped me fight the guards. He wiped out the Knights of Ren. Then it was just us against the Emperor.”

She looked around at her audience, almost like she forgot they were there. Rey’s expression suddenly closed off. Leia felt once again like the girl was hiding something. She felt it often from her for a while now, but she respected Rey’s judgement. If it were important, she would tell her.

“It all went so quickly,” Rey continued. “One moment I was standing with Ben and the next thing I knew I was flying backward. I was knocked out. It couldn’t have been very long though, because Ben was holding him off when I woke up. But he was losing, and I was too weak. So, I calmed my mind, and I asked those who lived before to be with me, like you taught me.”

Rey looked to her Master and smiled. “They heard me. Because of them, I was able to stand. But then the Emperor changed his attack and dragged me to him with the Force. When I was close, I called your lightsaber to my hand and used it to rip his chest in half.”

Rey stopped there. She looked hesitantly around the table. “When I stabbed him, he called the other lightsaber toward us and it impaled me in the back.”

Leia’s eyes widened along with Lando’s. Chewie immediately began pawing at her, checking for wounds and asking if she was ok. Rey placed her hand on his paw.

“I’m fine, Chewie,” she said, “You don’t have to worry.”

“But _how_ are you fine?” Lando asked.

“Ben,” she said. “I should be dead. But Ben healed me. He nearly gave up his life for me.”

The confession left Leia numb. She almost lost her son for good today - twice. She looked at the girl next to her and saw something else in her expression, felt it in the Force; it was fleeting but strong. It was also something she was very, very familiar with. _Well, I’ll be,_ she thought.

Leia didn’t stop the smile that rose to her face. She didn’t know how it was possible, or even if Rey recognized it yet. The girl had to have been part of, if not most of, the reason her son had come back to her. She was so thankful for this girl, and so proud of Ben for what he did. If she died today, she would die content in knowing that she was not the only one who cared for her son.

“Rey,” Leia took both Rey’s hands in hers. “I can’t thank you enough for your part in bringing my son back to me.”

Rey shook her head. “I didn’t have much to do with it,” she said. “It was all Ben.”

Leia knew better. “I think you had more influence than you are saying.”

Rey’s flushed cheeks confirmed her suspicions.

“But what happens to him now?”

Rey’s question brought them back to the situation at hand. Leia sighed and looked to Lando. He met her eyes and nodded.

“That is actually part of the reason we are here right now,” Leia stated. “Lando, Chewie, and I talked many times about what would happen if Ben did return to us. I always hoped that he would. How the next few days, and the next few weeks play out will decide his fate. I wish I could just take him away from everyone and everything and erase all the bad in his life, but I can’t. I am the leader of this Resistance, and he was the leader of the First Order. The galaxy won’t let me overlook that.”

Rey’s eyes filled with tears. Leia wished this could go some other way, but even she had to obey the rules of war. Her son would have to answer for his crimes one way or another.

“So, that’s why we are going to move him as soon as possible,” Leia continued. “If we can move him to a secure location, we can protect him.”

“That’s where I come in,” Lando leaned forward. “A while ago, I acquired a facility on Bespin that was used as a rehabilitation center. Family members of politicians and other rich citizens were sent there who had spice addictions or mild criminal backgrounds. The local government shut it down and auctioned it off when they found out that they were accepting credits from… questionable sources. I bought it with the plan to remodel it for something constructive but never got around to it. As luck would have it, it’s the perfect place to hide Ben.”

“He will be comfortable there,” Leia told Rey. “It’s not like a prison. And moving him will give us more time to put together a council to decide his long-term fate. Only a handful of people outside of this room will be made aware of his location. We can report to the rest of the galaxy that Kylo Ren is in the hands of the Resistance, but no one, not even most of the people here, will know where to find him. He will be mostly in isolation, guarded mostly by droids and security systems, but it’s the best we could come up with under the circumstances.”

General Organa fell silent sensing Rey needed a moment to absorb everything. It was moments like these where she abhorred her place in the galaxy. It forced her to have to deal with things as an organizational leader, a politician, and a General. Once again, she found herself putting the role of ‘mother’ behind her other titles. She only hoped Ben could forgive her this time.

Leia turned to Chewie and Lando. “Can I trust the arrangements to you two?”

“Don’t worry, Leia,” Lando said. “Chewie and I will handle it.” Chewie growled in agreement. A few softer wails followed.

“Yes, I think your right,” Leia laughed. Rey smiled a bit, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“I think it’s time we make some calls,” Lando stood and gestured to the Wookie. “Come on Chewie.”

The two males left the room, leaving the two Force-sensitives alone.

“So, he will be put on trial?” Rey asked.

“Yes,” Leia answered. “He will be judged by the Resistance leadership under the laws of a military tribunal.”

“And you will defend him,” Rey asserted. Leia broke eye contact. “Won’t you?”

“Rey, I’m the only one who can’t,” the General said. “As his mother, my opinion is compromised.”

Rey’s face fell.

“You can, though,” she told the girl. “You are the Jedi who defeated the Emperor, the hero that the galaxy will listen to. It’s up to you to defend him now.”

Rey looked her Master in the eyes, and Leia watched as Rey mentally readied herself for the challenge. The fluttering feelings of fear and sorrow that Leia felt from her in the Force settled into resolve.

“I will do my best, Master,” Rey said.

Leia placed a loving hand on her cheek, “I have no doubt in that.”

Rey was suddenly reminded of something else. “You knew,” she said. “You knew that I was a Palpatine.”

“I did,” Leia affirmed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rey tried not to sound accusatory, but Leia could see that it hurt her.

“I didn’t because I did not want that knowledge to have any effect on deciding who you were,” She explained. “I saw what living under a shadow of a legacy did to my son. I learned that too late for Ben, but I could at least try to spare you.”

Rey took her time considering the answer and seemed to accept it. “Thank you.”

Leia acknowledged the sentiment. “But now that it’s just you and me here, is there something else you need to tell me? About you and Ben?”

Rey looked like a young child suddenly caught in the sweets jar. “I don’t really even understand it,” she said hesitantly. “And I’m not sure how much Ben understands either.”

“Then tell me what you do understand,” Leia encouraged.

“Ben and I, we have this… connection in the Force,” Rey started. “It’s hard to explain.”

Leia waited for Rey to continue on her own time.

“I can always feel him in the back of my mind, but sometimes, I can physically see him, and he can see me, no matter where we are in the galaxy” she said. “We’ve spoken like this many times.”

That definitely wasn’t what Leia expected, but she knew how to take things in stride. “How long has this been happening?”

Rey bit her lip. “Since after Starkiller,” she confessed. “I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want to make things more complicated.”

“Rey,” Leia stopped her. “It’s alright. I’m not mad. I’m just surprised. You’ve been talking with my son that long?”

Rey nodded. “Ben says we’re a dyad – two as one in the Force. I’m still not sure what that means, but it’s how we were able to fight the Emperor. When we fought together, we could match him.”

Before Leia could consider the implications of this, there was a knock at the door.

“Enter,” Leia called. “We’ll talk more later,” she assured Rey.

The door slid open and Rose Tico walked into the entrance.

“General Organa,” Rose greeted.

“Rose,” Leia acknowledged. “You have something to report?”

“Well…” Rose started. She was suddenly a bundle of nervous energy.

“Yes?” Leia pushed.

“Kylo Ren… is unconscious.” Rose said.

“What?!” Rey was immediately on her feet. “What happened?”

“Well, you see… uh… General Dameron may have… uh… stunned him.”

“He what?!” Rey fairly screamed. “He was injured! Why would he do that? He surrendered peacefully!”

Leia rubbed a hand over her eyes. “Did he say anything before that?”

Her question stopped Rey’s tirade before it got out of hand. Rose looked confused. 

“I’m sorry?” Rose asked.

Leia blew out a slow breath. “Did Kylo Ren say anything before Poe shot him?”

“Well, he might have insulted Poe.”

Leia groaned softly. “Of course, he did,” she muttered as she stood. Somewhere, Han had to be laughing.

“Did they make it to the infirmary?” Leia asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Rose replied. “I came to report as soon as he was settled.”

“Alright,” Leia said, “thank you, Rose. I will head over there next. You’re dismissed.”

Rose saluted and smiled briefly at Rey before she turned to leave.

Leia hooked arms with the young woman beside her. “Come with me, Rey.”

As the two women made their way to the infirmary, many people offered them their congratulations and thanks. Leia could tell that Rey was still very uncomfortable in the spotlight. Unfortunately, that would never go away after today. The girl was a hero, and it looked like her story of heroism was quickly spreading throughout the ranks.

When they were close to the med bay, one young lieutenant stopped them. “Master Rey!”

Rey startled at the title.

“I know you probably have been hearing this all day,” the young girl said, “but I just wanted to say thank you as well, for saving all of us!”

“Oh… you’re welcome,” Rey blushed yet again at the praise. “But I wasn’t…”

“Is it true you captured Kylo Ren?” The young soldier’s eyes were wide with awe and Rey fumbled over the question.

“Yes,” Leia intervened. It was amazing how the rumor mill changed the details already. If she didn’t know better, she would say Lando had something to do with that. “But let’s keep that quiet for now, shall we?”

“Of course, ma’am,” the girl looked rightly reprimanded. “Please, excuse me.”

Rey turned and watched the girl go. “Master…”

“I think it fits,” Leia said. “You have definitely earned it.”

Rey looked back to Leia, trying to figure out if she was teasing her. She wasn’t.

“Come on, Master Rey,” Leia said, turning to the infirmary again. Rey caught up after a moment.

“Why did you agree with her?” Rey asked when out of earshot. “I didn’t capture him, he surrendered.”

“Because one of the few things that might protect Ben Solo is his detachment from Kylo Ren,” Leia said. “Remember, besides Lando and Chewie, you, Finn and Poe are the only three of the Resistance fighters who know that Kylo Ren is my son. I’d like to keep it that way for as long as I can.”

Rey nodded, and they continued to move through the med bay. Leia followed her instinct in the Force to the far side of the infirmary where the furthest room was closed off from the rest of the patients. Finn and Poe stood outside the room caught in a heated argument. Finn saw them approaching first and turned to greet the General.

“General,” he said. “I’m guessing you know what happened.” He looked over to Poe, hands on his hips.

Leia followed his gaze to the pilot.

“General,” Poe started, “I can explain –”

She cut him off with a slap across his face.

He had the decency to look abashed and stared at the floor. “Does this mean I’m demoted again?”

“Poe, as much as I would like to,” she said, “it would be for my personal benefit only. Even though you acted out of conduct for stunning a prisoner, it’s not worth a demotion. Although, I will have to consider some other form of punishment.”

Leia watched in satisfaction as the man swallowed. “Yes ma’am.”

She turned to Finn just in time to see him wipe a smirk off his face. “Have you found any guards?” she asked.

Finn squared his shoulders. “Well, two,” he said, gesturing to the two guards on either side of the door. “I was looking for volunteers first. Jannah and Tem, another of her platoon of ex-storm troopers, are the only ones who agreed so far. I might just have to make it an assignment.”

Leia considered this. “Actually, let’s keep just two for now.”

“General?” Poe asked. “Are you sure we don’t need more?”

“You two go and find Lando,” she said instead of answering. “He will tell you the plan we put in place. Tell him we need to move tonight if at all possible.”

They both looked confused, and she raised an eyebrow. “That’s an order, Generals.”

They both snapped to attention and she waved them off. Before Finn left, he made sure to hug Rey and murmur something in her ear.

While the women watched the two men go, the older of the two shook her head. “To think I was that young once,” Leia griped. Rey smiled at that.

Leia turned to make her way to the room that Ben was in, and Rey nearly ran into her when the older woman stopped. Leia’s hand was on the door, but she made no attempt to open it. Seconds passed.

“Actually,” Rey placed her hand on Leia’s shoulder, “if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to find some food first and maybe a fresher. I’m famished. I’ll be back soon.”

Leia smiled, knowing exactly what she was doing, but she nodded anyways. When Rey walked away, she turned back to the door between her and her son. She opened it and slowly walked inside, shutting it behind her.

Her eyes immediately went to the figure on the bed. Ben’s head and chest were already wrapped in white bandages. A medical droid hovered over the holo screen to the side of the bed.

“How is he?” she asked the droid.

“He suffered a concussion,” the mechanical voice said, “but he should make a complete recovery with rest. He has four broken ribs and severe bruising down the left and back of the body. He is also suffering from exhaustion, and many of his vitamin levels are depleted. He can be placed in a bacta suit as soon as one is made available.”

“Thank you,” Leia said as she drew closer to the bed. “Do you mind if I have a few minutes?”

“Of course, General,” the droid said as it turned to leave.

When the door shut behind her, Leia was again drawn to the man in front of her. His face sported more bruising than it did earlier in the day. The mother in her noticed the dark puffy circles under his eyes, and she wondered when he last had a full night’s sleep.

Her eyes traveled down the rest of him. He looked so different than she remembered but he also looked the same. Her mind was having a hard time reconciling the two truths. He was much bigger than the lanky child that she left with Luke. His hair was longer than what he used to wear, but his hands were the same. And the markings on his face were the same.

She looked around the room, found a chair in the corner, and dragged it over to his bedside. She sat down and sighed, clenching her hands together.

After a long few minutes, she finally reached out, took his hand in hers and was mortified to find that she felt stupidly complete once again. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend that nothing had changed, that he was still her baby boy only asleep in his bed, safe at home.

But she didn’t close her eyes. Pretending always hurt more later. Instead, she held his hand and let herself cry for the first time in a long time for all that her son had lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do think that Kylo Ren's true identity would have been kept a secret by his family, so I am keeping it to a very few amount of people who know/would find out.  
> Also, my beta (my awesome bro) pointed out that according to the new Star Wars encyclopedia, Lando Calrissian was something of a hermit on Pasana before TROS. I know I said that I would keep this as canon as possible, but seeing as this was not mentioned in the movie, and I think it is quite stupid for his character, I have elected to ignore it. He still lives on Bespin. 
> 
> As always, comments are welcome!!


	6. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a prisoner now... *cue sad music* This one's a long one :)
> 
> Thank you all again for reading, commenting, and liking!

Ben’s body jerked as consciousness found him. His heart thudded rapidly in his chest, eyes not recognizing the ceiling above him. He tried to move his hands and realized they were cuffed beside him. His body sat up, immediately responding to the unknown threat while his mind raced to catch up to what happened.

He methodically took in the room around him – it was a plain, white room with only a table and chair besides the bed for furniture. Confused, he tried to reach out with the Force, but couldn’t find where the threat was coming from. Why was he here? Who captured him?

A split second before it happened, Ben felt a spike of warning and the force field in the doorway dropped. A dark man stepped inside and the force field covering the door reactivated. His mind was sluggish in recognizing him – Lando Calrissian. Ben inhaled sharply as the identification triggered the onslaught of memories leading up to his surrender to the Resistance. He remembered he was shot. Poe Dameron stunned him. In another quick assessment of his body, he thought he should still be feeling the tingling effects of the blast, and not the floating sensation that fogged up his brain. It felt like his reflexes were lagging, a feeling he only ever felt… when he was drugged.

Why was he drugged? Anger and confusion flooded him. He hated that feeling. His eyes accusingly met Lando’s who stood at the end of the bed he was cuffed to. Ben thankfully had enough wits about him to squash the impulse to threaten and insult the man. He forced himself to breathe deeply. When he looked up, he found the general watching him patiently.

“Where am I?” Ben asked, his voice rough with disuse.

“You’re on Bespin,” Lando said, shoving his hands into his pockets, “in an old rehabilitation facility that was closed down years ago on the outskirts of a city that will go nameless for now.”

Ben absorbed the information. They moved him from their base. _Smart,_ he thought.

He reached out again with the Force again and was frustrated at his slippery grasp on it.

“Why am I drugged?” he ground out, anger getting the better of him again. He hated feeling out of control in his body; hated the feeble hold he had on the Force.

“Easy, Ben,” Lando said, “It was for your own good.”

Ben glared at him. He could think of a total of zero situations where a sedative would be a good thing.

“When you were brought to the med bay, you had a severe concussion, broken bones, and some impressive bruises,” Lando told him. “Since you were already out from the stun blast, it was decided that it would be best to keep you under while you healed.”

“You mean so I wouldn’t make a fuss when you moved me,” Ben grumbled.

“That too,” Lando countered, eyebrow raised.

Ben let out a huge sigh and noted that the pain he should have been feeling with each breath was just about gone. His head and the rest of his body were also not very painful even though he thought they should have been. Unless…

“How long have I been out?” he asked.

“Nearly three days,” Lando said. “The first twenty-four hours or so, you were placed in a bacta suit.”

That made sense then. He may not have liked the methods used, but he was begrudgingly grateful for no more pain.

He looked back to the man he used to call ‘uncle.’ The old man was staring at him as if he were waiting for something or trying to find something. It made Ben uncomfortable. He had no idea what the general expected of him, so he kept quiet. He had to remind himself that he was now at the mercy of the Resistance leaders and he shouldn’t be making things worse for himself. He was a prisoner now.

He watched the old man sigh and look… sad.

 _No, disappointed,_ his mind corrected him. No matter. At least disappointment was something he was familiar with.

“So,” Lando began. The air around them changed as General Calrissian straightened his shoulders, filling out to reach his full height. “Down to business then.”

Ben straightened in response.

“Following your surrender to the Resistance, our emergency council has agreed that you will be held in this facility until an official council has been selected to decide your fate in a military tribunal. This facility has cameras and thermal sensors in every room and corridor, so you will be watched at all hours of the day. Droids and guards have been placed all over the facility with direct orders to immobilize you if you get to close to them or attempt an escape. If one of the cameras, sensors, or droids happens to be disabled by any means, the rest of them will converge on your position to immobilize you. You will then be sedated for the remainder of your stay here. Is that understood?”

Ben nodded and briefly wondered why he would have a trial. Surely, they could just skip to the sentencing.

“You will have access to this room and the refresher through that door,” he gestured to an open doorway on the other side of the room, “Meals will be delivered by droid three times a day, and you will not be allowed any guests unless approved by myself or General Dameron.”

Lando paused to let everything sink in. “Do you have any questions?”

Ben had to admit he was shocked at their choice of accommodations. He expected nothing more than a metal cell and a bucket. In fact, if he were in their position, he would ensure that he had nothing more than that. He didn’t understand their reasoning, but he didn’t want to question it, fearing they might change their minds. He shook his head and lowered his gaze.

The general sighed heavily.

“Ben,” the name brought the young man’s head back up. “I don’t have to tell you the precarious situation that you’re in here. One step out of line, and all this goes away.”

Lando paused, his expression expectant of some kind of response.

“I said I would help the Resistance in whatever way I could,” Ben said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” the general nodded, “We are going to hold you to that. General Dameron asked to be informed when you were awake. He didn’t want to waste any more time in getting the information we needed.”

Ben settled for nodding again. Interrogation was something else he was familiar with. He would do what he said he would. His word was something he took very seriously.

At Ben’s nod, General Calrissian moved around the bed and pulled his cloak aside to reach into his pocket. As he did so, Ben saw the blaster at his side and recognized the gesture for what it was – “try to attack me and I will use this.” Ben made every attempt to not move as Lando drew closer and pulled a key from his pocket to unlock the cuffs keeping Ben on the bed.

“The Resistance leaders are nearly finished deciding who will be on the council for your tribunal,” said Lando. “Someone will let you know when the time for the trial is set.”

Ben didn’t move to massage his newly freed wrists until Lando backed away.

“Look kid,” the old man suddenly looked weary as he spoke, “the next few days will be long, and I don’t know what will happen to you. But for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for deciding to come back to us, back to your mom.”

Lando walked to the door and stopped just before leaving. “Poe will be here within the hour,” he said. The force field disappeared, and the form of another being filled the doorway.

Ben nearly groaned out loud as his mother’s obnoxious droid entered carrying a large tray and a bag.

“Master Ben Solo,” the droid greeted far too enthusiastically. “It is I, C-3PO, human-cyborg relations! Do you remember me, sir?”

“Unfortunately,” he said. He heard Lando laughing in the hallway as the force field reasserted itself, leaving the droid inside with him.

“It is so good to see you, sir, after so many years,” the droid carried on, oblivious as usual, to his annoying personality. “Why, when I saw you last, you were still very young. You have definitely grown up, sir.”

Ben did groan this time and fell back on the bed with an arm over his face. The voice alone was enough to bring forth long-forgotten childish urges to throw old ship parts at his head, explode whatever drink he was carrying, or to trip him down a landing ramp. Ben was always jealous that the droid could follow his mother anywhere when he could not. As a young boy, he didn’t understand why his mother wanted a machine around and not him. Even Han hated the droid.

“I have brought you the mid-day meal,” the droid continued, unabashed. He set the tray down on the table. “General Organa also asked me to bring you a few changes of clothes and toiletries for you to freshen up, sir.”

Before the droid finished speaking, Ben was on his feet. He pulled the bag from the droid’s shoulder, startling him with his abrupt movements. He pushed past the droid to head to the fresher.

“Sir,” the droid made to follow him, “will you be needing anything else before I leave? I will be bringing the evening meal later and was meant to ask if…”

Ben cut him off, spinning around in the entryway. “Can’t you send another droid?”

Not seeing the request as an insult to him, Threepio merely answered the question. “Unfortunately, not, sir. General Organa personally requested that I be the one who handles your meals.”

“Of course, she did,” Ben groaned has he turned back to the fresher only to realize that the droid was _following_ him. He spun around; pointer finger raised to the droid’s metallic face. “Do _not_ follow me in here, Threepio.”

The droid twitched in surprise as it realized what room he was going into. “Ah, yes. Very good, sir. I will just head back, sir.”

Ben watched as the droid shuffled its way to the door and waited for the force field to drop. As he exited and the force field came back on, Ben could still hear him yammering away about the evening food and wondering if R2-D2 was a better choice to bring it. Instead of giving into the urge to thunk his head against the door frame, Ben gritted his teeth and turned to the fresher.

He methodically made quick work of the facilities, thankful for a water spray instead of a sonic one. It helped cut through the remaining effects of the drugs. The ministrations always provided him with some level of peace where he could choose to focus on nothing other than removing the dirt and grime of the day. It was one of the only times besides meditation and training where his thoughts passed by without consequence.

He searched through the bag Threepio brought and pulled out a navy-blue sweater, a grey sweater, a pair of tan trousers, a pair of black trousers, the appropriate underclothes, and a deodorant spray, brush, toothbrush, and sonic shaver. Dressing quickly in the grey top and black pants, he brought the shaver to the small sink to rid himself of the scruff he grew while unconscious.

He looked into the mirror above the sink and dropped the shaver. His hand went up to his face and traced the line of skin where the scar should have been. _It was gone._ He sifted through his memories, trying to figure what in the galaxy could have happened to remove it. Then it hit him.

_Rey._

She didn’t just save his life; she healed him of every wound that she gave him. His mind immediately took him back to the events in the Sith temple. Echoes of fear rolled over him as he remembered the lightsaber running her through. When he held her in his arms, staring at the hole in her chest, he decided that he would do anything for her, including give up his life. He couldn’t live with her gone. It wasn’t fathomable. Even if he couldn’t have saved her, he knew that he wouldn’t have left that arena. He would have waited and let the Sith followers finish him, or he would have been crushed by the temple collapsing.

He thought of her kissing him and he couldn’t help the small smile that climbed to his face. He knew that he loved her; even before she healed him, he knew it. It was why he offered her his hand after fighting by her side in Snoke’s throne room. When she rejected him, he believed that his love was one sided and spent the next year trying to convince himself to hate her instead.

When she healed him on the Endor moon, he let himself hope for the first time that he was wrong. When she kissed him, he felt his heart take flight in realizing that she might actually love him back. It might have taken his father, his mother, and her patience to lead him back to the light, but she was the reason for him to continue in it. He didn’t want to let her down.

He picked up the shaver again, coming back to his surroundings, and was abruptly reminded of where he was. It brought reality crashing back down around him – he was a prisoner. He was a war criminal and would most assuredly be put to death for his crimes. The euphoric feeling that filled him moments ago plunged into darkness.

What was he thinking? He couldn’t love her. She didn’t deserve a monster like him – someone who tortured her, hunted her through the galaxy, terrorized her friends, killed those she fought with. Guilt and shame like he never felt before threatened to drown him. It didn’t matter what he did; he would never atone for his sins. It didn’t matter how much he loved her and was indebted to her; he would never be worthy of her. He would never be worthy of anything but death.

He knew what he had to do now. For her sake, he had to make sure that he wasn’t the one who held her back. She would have to live without him once they sentenced him anyway. She would thrive without him, he knew that. She could learn to love someone who deserved her.

Ben’s hands clung to the sink in front of him as his chest constricted in pain. This pain was new. It wasn’t like the tearing pain of the battle that constantly raged in him between the light and the dark. It wasn’t like the pain of loss after realizing what he did to his father. It wasn’t the pain he felt on bad days when his soul felt scraped, hollowed out, and lonely. No, this was a sharp, splintering pain where his hear was that brought tears to his eyes.

He didn’t let them fall, though. He was used to pain. If he had to deal with it to make sure that Rey would move past him, then so be it. He would do anything for her.

Ben did his best to ignore the trembling in his hands as he finished cleaning himself up. He always hated how his emotions ran so deeply that he could never fully control them. It was one of the reasons that his parents sent him to train with Luke. He had so many outbursts as a child, and they just didn’t know how to handle him. He tried to throw himself into the Jedi training. He tried to rid himself of feeling so profoundly, but it never worked.

It was also one of the motivations that first led him to consider the dark side. With the dark side, he was encouraged to feel and to feel passionately. He hated Snoke now, but under his tutelage, he learned to channel the pain of rejection and loneliness into anger, and that anger into power. But he couldn’t do that now. Hindsight allowed him to see the toxicity that that power had over him, trapping him in a vicious cycle.

With the exponential build of the emotional storm inside, he was at a loss as to how to handle it. Years of experience told him it would be futile to attempt to let his emotions go like Luke trained him. However, his new perspective in the light and his love for Rey told him that he couldn’t use the dark side to channel them either. He could not turn them into destruction.

Ben suddenly felt like a young child again. The pressure inside him swelled, slipping its way into his hold on the Force. He knew how this ended – it would build until he couldn’t hold on any longer, and the destruction he was fighting would happen anyways with a pop and a silent scream.

He started to panic when the mirror and the toiletries on the sink began to shake.

 _No, no, no, no,_ he repeated over and over in his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and desperately concentrated on the only times in his life where he felt truly at peace. His mind brought him to every moment he had with Rey. He saw her asleep on the rack that held her in his interrogation room and wondered at the pull he had to her. He saw her in the Force-bond that they shared, the desire to be near her growing each time it opened. He saw her sitting, alive in his arms after he healed her. The way she said his name and how she looked at him settled the deepest parts of his soul. The feeling of her lips on his was the closest he would ever get to perfect peace.

Ben felt his body loosen, and the Force surrounding him relaxed. He took a long few minutes to breathe deeply and keep his mind from thinking about much of anything other than Rey. The days ahead of him were going to be long indeed if he had to deal with nothing other than his own thoughts. He was somewhat ashamed to admit that thinking of Rey was the only safe way he could find to rein in his unwelcome emotions. He would be using her to give him peace in his last few days while he pushed her away.

He was a walking contradiction, but at least he would leave this life knowing that he didn’t disappoint her by turning back to the darkness.

The sound of someone clearing their throat wrenched him out of his thoughts.

Ben looked up, surprised that he was sitting on the on the edge of the bed in the other room and couldn’t remember getting there. FN-2187 – Finn – stood inside the room with three other Resistance fighters. The three behind Finn were armed with blasters. He noticed an ID9 droid hovering behind them and idly wondered where Lando acquired it. Finn held out a pair of binding cuffs.

“It’s time to come with us,” he said simply.

Without a word, Ben slipped on the shoes provided for him beside the bed and stood. He ignored how they all tensed at his movements and held out his hands for the binders. Finn cuffed him, and the rest flanked him as they made their way out of the room and down the hall.

Out of habit, Ben mapped the route they took in his head, but he had no desire to try to escape. Even if he wanted to, he had nowhere to go and no purpose anywhere but here. Before he knew it, a door slid open to reveal a room with a table and two chairs on either side. General Poe Dameron occupied one of them. Behind Dameron hovered a silver droid that looked humanoid but without legs. Finn and his three other guards placed themselves at equal distances throughout the room and blocked the door.

He waited.

…

Poe’s entire body was thrumming with tension as he watched Kylo Ren enter the interrogation room with his entourage of guards. His arms were bound in the thick cuffs, but Poe knew that this monster of a man could still put up a fight in them, especially with the Force at his disposal. His hand went to rest on his blaster holstered to his thigh. He hoped that four armed guards and a reprogrammed seeker droid were enough. Leia assured him that more guards would be unnecessary, but Poe wasn’t so sure.

He felt bad for Leia. He felt bad that she had to deal with having Kylo Ren as her son and having the weight of what he did to the galaxy on her shoulders. The only reason he was doing this was for her. She personally asked him to hold the interrogations of the former Supreme Leader and preside over his tribunal since she could not. She also may have suggested that this was punishment for stunning a prisoner for personal reasons… but he took her requests seriously, all the same.

Poe gestured to the chair across from him. “Please.” He let his disdain bleed into the invitation.

Poe watched as the prisoner made no attempt at a comeback or defiance and quietly slipped into the chair. Finn leaned forward and chained the cuff links to the table.

The man in front of him somehow did not match his memory of the dark, brooding figure that tortured him for the map to Skywalker. Instead of analyzing it, Poe decided not to delve to deeply into uncomfortable subjects and attributed the difference to the light grey sweater – definitely a change from an all-black wardrobe.

Ren’s face flickered with something, and Poe watched as he scanned the mirror to his left. It was a holo-mirror – a one-way window for the Resistance leaders to observe and listen to the interrogation. Ren, no doubt, figured out he had an audience. He wondered if he knew that Leia was watching them.

“So how does it feel,” Poe asked, bringing Ren’s attention back to him, “being on the other side of the questions?”

Ren just gave him a blank stare, not rising to the bait.

“Your injuries?” Poe gestured to his chest. “They’re all better now?”

Ren didn’t even twitch.

“Poe,” Finn’s voice called from somewhere to his right.

Poe looked to the other general, noting his silent request to knock it off. He was right. Poe pulled the miniature holo-recorder from his back pocket, placed it on the table, and activated it.

“State your name for the record,” Poe began.

“Ben Solo,” the man said. Poe’s eye twitched at his given name.

“Ben Solo,” Poe repeated, “also known as Kylo Ren. These sessions will be entirely dependent on your cooperation and the information you provide to the Resistance. Let’s hope your information proves to be reliable for all our sakes.”

Ren’s unflinching stare was starting to unnerve him.

“This droid behind me is an LD-3 unit,” Poe gestured. “She will be monitoring your body stats such as heart rate, temperature, sweat gland activation, and vocal analysis. If there is any indication of you lying, she will interject to report it, and we will start again.”

He watched Ren’s eyes assess the droid and come back to rest on him. Poe leaned forward, placing his arms on the table.

“I also want to make something perfectly clear,” he said. “In case you haven’t figured it out, I don’t like you. If it were up to me, you would be put in the darkest cell in the deepest prison we could find in the galaxy. I would have a dozens of men, women, and droids guarding you with the order to kill if you put one toe out of line. However, I also don’t like to watch Leia suffer, and we owe Rey and unpayable debt. They both think that you deserve a fair trial and decent treatment, so I want you to know that I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for them.”

Ren’s eyes never left his. “Fair enough.”

Poe nodded. If Ren could at least pretend to be civil, then so could he.

“Then let’s get started…”

The next few hours were filled with nothing other than questions and answers. Ren was seemingly true to his word and offered up all the information available to him. He gave them the names of planets next on the First Order’s list to blockade. He provided the coordinates he remembered for First Order weapons development labs and warehouses. He gave the names of those who were next in rank and would take charge after such an upheaval of leadership. He even gave them what little information he had on the defeated army of the Final Order.

More than once during the session, Poe looked back to LD-3 thinking that Ren couldn’t be so openly honest to his enemies. The droid remained silent. At one point, Poe called a break and while Ren was out of the room, he personally checked to make sure that the droid was working. She was.

The fact that they got through this without so much as an incident was astonishing in itself. If the information that their prisoner was providing was correct, the Resistance could finally make plans to end this war. It didn’t match up to Poe’s perception of Ren. It should not have been so easy. Maybe Ren was better at lying than they thought he was. Maybe he could use the Force or something to alter the droid’s perception. He would have to ask to see her report on his stats afterwards. He was also anxious to find out how the information lined up with their field reconnaissance reports.

He turned off the holo-recorder and noticed how Ren’s shoulders relaxed imperceptibly.

“I just have one more question,” Poe said. Ren warily met his eyes, undoubtedly nervous of what he would ask off the record.

“What made you commit treason against your own Order?”

Ren drew in a long breath through is nose and let it out just as slowly. Poe watched his eyes lazily roam over to the holo-mirror and then back to the table in front of him. Ren shifted slightly in his chair and when he looked back to Poe, his eyes looked wet, but one blink later, the flint returned to his gaze.

“Is there any other information the Resistance needs to complete their objectives?” Ren asked.

Poe stared back at the prisoner, trying to decide if he wanted to push the question. True, it wasn’t vital for the Resistance to know, but it would help Poe. He wanted to see inside the monster’s head. If Poe could figure out what was driving him, he would feel a whole lot better. He did not want to admit that the man’s compliant behavior was confusing him. He looked back to the droid again.

“El-dee, what is your final assessment of the prisoner’s answers?” Poe asked.

“In comparison to baseline behavior, the patient never varied more than acceptable levels within responses. It is highly improbable for any of the information given to be a deception. Probable error for assessment resides at one percent.”

Poe stared back at Ren. A one percent error rate was impossible to get if you were untruthful. Even a lying psychopath would have somewhere between a two and five percent error rating. He chewed his cheek and reluctantly decided to let his question go… for now.

“Alright Finn, he’s all yours,” Poe said to his friend. He turned to Ren one last time. “Your trial has been set for the morning after tomorrow.”

…

Finn stepped from behind Poe and unchained the cuff links from the table while the guards in the room flanked him and the prisoner. Ren – Ben – he wasn’t sure what to call him – let them surround him and guide him out of the room without a word. He still couldn’t quite bring himself to call him by his given name. However, after learning from Rey what he did and watching him - or rather feeling him - today, he wasn’t sure he could call him Kylo Ren either.

Finn was still very new to his awareness of the Force and what he felt when he reached out with it. After the excitement died down over Ren’s surrender, Finn was finally able to pull Rey aside to talk to her about things. She told him everything from her fight with the darkness and Kylo Ren to how she ended up in the bowels of the Sith temple. She told him how she was ready to give into her darkness and take the throne of the Emperor when Kylo Ren – or Ben – ran to fight by her side. She said that without him, the Emperor would not have been defeated and she would be dead. Ben saved her life, nearly giving up his own in the process. In his book, that had to count for something.

The things Kylo Ren did, even before he was Supreme Leader, were unforgivable, but Finn was beginning to think there was more to Kylo Ren than people realized. Little to nothing was known about Ren’s past, and Finn was one the few people who knew his true lineage. The people chosen to guard him, and the leaders picked for his trial were the only ones in the galaxy who knew that information. It was hard for Finn to imagine what would have happened to lead Ben Solo to the dark side, but something in his past had to be a catalyst. The past would not necessarily excuse his actions, but maybe it could point to some of the reasons why he did them.

Finn was lucky that many people in the Resistance forgot that he was a Storm Trooper. Others painted his desertion as some kind of heroic act. They forgot that he was raised to believe that the First Order wasn’t evil.

He considered that first mission where he was assigned to the platoon sent to Jakku. At the time, he was proud that he was part of the team that accompanied Kylo Ren. But when they got there, and they ordered them to fire on the civilians, something in him wouldn’t let him pull the trigger. When he got back to the Star Destroyer and realized how much trouble he would get in for disobeying orders, his fight-or-flight response kicked in, and he fled.

Finn looked back to that deciding moment on the planet and imagined what would have happened if the citizens on the planet had weapons to fight back. The civilians would have become an army, he would have fired on them, and he would have stayed in his ranks. Maybe the next time he would have been ordered to execute prisoners. Maybe the time after that he would have been ordered to fire on civilians protecting a dangerous criminal from the enemy. Finn couldn’t help but question what would have happened to him if he was slowly acclimated to war and battle instead of being dropped into the deep end. Maybe after he became a calloused First Order soldier, the next time he was ordered to fire on civilians, he would have. Fortunately, none of that happened.

He never tried to fool himself, though. His half-crazed plan to use the Resistance pilot to escape was for purely selfish reasons. Even when he met Rey and helped her steal the _Falcon_ , he lied about who he was and meant to use her and the droid to get away from the First Order. He wanted to run; it was the people of the Resistance that ended up changing his mind.

The situation between himself and Kylo Ren was decisively incomparable, but Finn was aware enough of his own choices to understand that if the circumstances surrounding his defining choice were different, then his path might have been different too. Finn looked to Ren now and wondered if his path started like that – if he started taking a number of small steps in one direction and didn’t realize how far he went until it was too late.

Finn didn’t know enough about Kylo Ren’s past to make a fair assessment, but he could understand what he felt from him in the Force. When he finally spoke to Rey after Exegol, she asked him why he believed her about Ren, and he told her that when he showed up to the Resistance base with Rey, he could _feel_ the change in him. He could feel the shift in Ren’s intentions, and Finn knew that he meant them no harm. Rey was shocked and extremely happy about his sensitivity in the Force, and she promised to help train him when this whole ordeal was over.

The entourage reached Ren’s quarters and Finn had to reorient himself to the present. He motioned for the others to stay outside the door as he followed their prisoner into the room. He reached out again with his feelings, reaffirming that this man had no intention to hurt him, so he wasn’t afraid to get close.

As he pulled out a key to unlock the cuffs, Finn decided to try to push a little further into the Force to see what else he could sense about Ren. Finn felt the man’s darkness, but he had to admit that his light was almost blinding beside it.

Finn looked up and was met with Ren’s intense gaze analyzing him in return. They stared at each other awkwardly.

“Do you know you’re doing that?” Ren broke the silence.

Finn’s heart skipped a beat at the comprehension that Ren could feel him testing him in the Force. He didn’t know how he knew that; he just did. Finn pulled back his emotions as quickly as he could.

“Doing what?” Finn swallowed his nerves.

Ren’s face almost split into a taunting grin. “You do,” he said.

Finn finished releasing the restraints and attempted to feign ignorance. The fact that Ren could suddenly tell he was Force-sensitive unnerved him, especially when Rey didn’t notice it after months of spending time with him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.

Ren rolled his eyes and walked away from him, shaking out his wrists.

“What did Rey say?” Ren asked after a moment. “I’m sure she was excited to find someone besides Leia who has the Force.”

Finn sighed in defeat. He supposed it was pointless to try to hide from him now. “I told her yesterday,” he confessed. “She didn’t know.”

The former Supreme Leader turned again to face Finn. Ren tilted his head as he considered him, and Finn felt vulnerable and frustrated that to Ren, he was an open book.

“Rey is still learning,” the prisoner said. “What she lacks in finesse, she makes up for in brute strength.”

It wasn’t lost on Finn how Ren’s demeanor changed when he spoke about Rey.

“Rey told me what happened to you two–” Finn said after a moment, “how you saved her life and helped her save the galaxy from the Sith.”

Ren’s shoulders hunched in on themselves and he turned his back on Finn. “It was nothing,” he said.

Finn didn’t believe that, but he turned to the door to leave anyways. When the force field lowered, Finn stopped.

“Look,” he said, “I’ll probably never say this again…and I might have to kill you if you tell anyone I said this…but I think you need to hear it at least once.”

Finn waited for the other man to meet his eyes. When Ren finally faced him, it looked like his whole body braced itself for impact.

“Thank you… Ben… for saving her life.” He turned and left, but not before he saw Ben’s face slacken in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that a lot of people do forget that Finn was raised as a storm trooper and that he was given ideal circumstances to be able to leave the First Order and survive. I really do feel like he would be one to almost sympathize with Ben.


	7. Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up kiddos! This is it - the long awaited confrontation between mother and son... and some other things :)
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading, for the kind words, and kudos! You are all much appreciated!

Ben was never one for waiting. As a child, Ben always hated waiting for one or both of his parents to come home. His mother was usually caught up with the affairs of the galaxy, much too busy traveling from planet to planet to help with the formation of the new government. His father, who never wanted to be a father in the first place, spent most of his time split between making an appearance as a Rebellion General or taking off to one of his races with Chewie in the _Millennium Falcon_. They left him to be raised by a droid nurse, depriving him of much needed human interaction. He often felt abandoned, desperate for even a few minutes of attention that he didn’t know how to get.

When he began training with Snoke, he learned to hate waiting for the next training session. As he progressed in his training, Snoke’s lessons became much more brutal in both mental and physical aspects. He pushed himself past his limits, always looking to please his master and become who he was meant to be. During the downtimes, or more accurately the times needed for his body to heal, he could feel the conflict of the light and dark in him, spurring him to self-hatred and doubt. He couldn’t wait to start again, to train the mental and physical weaknesses out of him.

Now, he was waiting to die. He just wished they’d get it over with. Try as he might, he could not figure out why the Resistance leaders gave into the wishes of an old woman to give her son a fair trial – her son, the murderer. Her son, the monster. They knew what he did. Everyone in the galaxy knew what he did. A fair trial ended in execution.

He was desperate for something to occupy himself. After Finn dumbfounded him with his sentiment, he was left with the option of either analyzing the reasons for it or not thinking about it entirely. He chose the latter, not ready to face the full implications of what was said.

The next few hours were spent physically training as much as possible in the confined space. Threepio came in at one point chastising him for not eating enough and leaving him with food for a late dinner. Ben ignored him and kept going until he was tired and drenched in sweat. He forced himself to choke down as much food as possible, but it wasn’t much, considering the days that he hadn’t eaten anything before that. He used the fresher to wash, and then found himself again desperate for anything else to occupy his mind. Sleep was simply out of the question. Not only was he used to minimal hours of sleep per night, he never looked forward to the nightmares.

That’s how Ben found himself cross-legged on the floor of the small chamber doubling as his cell. He planned on using meditation to lose all sense time, filling the hours between now and his trial.

It started out surprisingly well. Meditating in the light was a soothing experience compared to the over-charged power in the dark side. He spent a long while in the first few stages of Force meditation, reveling in the floating peace and partial awareness. When he let himself sink deeper, he could reach out through the Force to “see” the guards walking the halls and posted to the doors around him. He stayed there for a while pushing, pulling, and flexing the Force as one would do in strength and stretching exercises. Then, he let himself lose all sense of his surroundings, pressing into the outer edges of what a Jedi could reach in the Cosmic Force.

Once he crossed the threshold, something in his mind clicked and the Force grabbed hold, heaving him into another awareness…

_Hands on both of his arms dragged him towards the Resistance council of judges. He blinked and they were a firing squad. He blinked again and they were just a jury. He was made to face them. Rey was suddenly there, standing between him and her friends. There was an explosion, consuming many of the council members. He screamed as he threw himself forward to get her out of the way. His arms went right through her as if she was never there, and he lost his balance._

_Ben fell face-first onto a black, reflective, metal floor. As he pushed himself up, he saw that he was in a long, pentagonal-shaped hallway that stretched into darkness. He stepped forward, drawn by the pull of the Force._

_The darkness ahead was split by the crimson blade of a lightsaber. A heavy metallic breathing filled Ben’s ears._

_“Grandson,” a mechanical voice said._

_Ben turned and ran the other direction. As he ran, the hallway changed into one remembered all too well. He was aboard the Millennium Falcon._

_Something in his hand was burning. He looked down – a bright red kyber crystal was searing through the flesh of his palm. He dropped it and his consciousness followed it as it fell through the floor that turned into sand. He fell with it as it sank further and further away, turning everything into a blinding white light…_

Ben sucked in a breath as his consciousness snapped back to his body. His hands braced himself up on the floor in front of him; his top half shaking with the aftereffects of the vision. He sat there for a long few seconds trying to get his heartbeat under control.

A smaller hand reached out and covered one of his. He followed the hand up to the eyes of its owner. Rey sat on her knees before him, her face etched with concern.

_When did she get here?_

Only he realized that she wasn’t. The bond had connected them together again, but this time, he was too occupied to notice.

“Did you see that?” he asked, voice in a low whisper.

She shook her head no. Good. He never could tell with the particulars of their Force bond. He ran a hand through his hair and slouched back against the wall behind him.

He tried to convince himself that the vision couldn’t have meant anything. He would be sentenced to die soon, but maybe that was the whole point. Maybe the Force was showing him that he would die as the man everyone saw him as – the grandson of Darth Vader, a cursed object, irreversibly marked by his lineage. That was fine, he supposed. It was nothing he didn’t already know. He just had to make sure that Rey was nowhere near when that happened. He had to make sure she was safe.

“Ben?” Rey asked.

“Mmm?” was the reply.

“I asked you what you saw,” her voice finally drew him out of his reverie.

He pulled his eyes back to hers. She was so beautiful. His chest constricted briefly in pain as he reminded himself that he could never have her. He mentally shook himself and moved to stand.

“Nothing,” he answered.

She followed him to her feet. “Ben,” she pressed him to answer.

“It was nothing,” he repeated. She did not need to know.

They stood facing each other, bond humming between them. Ben wondered when they would be connected again like this. He was still trying to figure out how to better control the connection. At first it was random, opening whether he was ready or not. He learned to block it before he could open it. After Crait, if he felt the pull of it in the base of his skull, he pushed against it. When he was searching for Rey across the galaxy, he was only able to convince the bond to open twice. The last time it opened in the Sith temple was not his doing. Maybe Rey was responsible for that one. Or maybe it was the Force. All he knew was that both of them had no desire to close the bond right now.

A strand of Rey’s hair fell across her eyes as she stared up at him. His fingers twitched to push it behind her ear, but he clasped his hands behind him and leaned back against the wall.

“I thought I wasn’t allowed visitors,” he said, surprising himself.

Rey smiled lightly. “I guess they didn’t take this into account,” she said. “I am sorry, though. Poe doesn’t want me near you until the trial. He says you’re a bad influence.”

Ben’s head tilted. “Maybe you’re the bad influence. I don’t seem to remember ever changing your mind.”

Rey’s eyes glittered with laughter. “Are you teasing me, Ben Solo?”

Ben felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips. “Maybe.”

Her gaze softened as she looked at him. Just like the last time the bond opened, he was helplessly drawn in. His eyes traced down to her lips, his body like a magnet to her. He was mere inches from her when the rational part of his brain reacted.

It took all of his effort to tear his eyes away from her, breaking the trance she held over him. He dragged his feet over to the hovering bed and sat. He was failing miserably at his plan to keep her away. Now that she was here, he didn’t want her to leave. He wasn’t strong enough.

“So, what’s going on out there?”” he asked, unable to look her in the eye.

He heard her sigh and watched as her feet stopped in front of him. “It’s actually been very boring since we returned – lots of meetings and strategic planning… and arguing. Lot’s of arguing, mostly about you.”

She began pacing while she spoke. “When you woke up, I wasn’t told about it until you were nearly done with their interrogations. And then they said that I couldn’t be there. They said it was ‘too close of proximity for you to _influence_ me.’” Rey spat the words out like venom. “I know they’re my friends, but they are being unreasonable! Why can’t they just believe me?”

The question wasn’t really meant for him, but he answered it anyways. “They only want to protect you.”

She snorted. “They should know by now that I can protect myself. Besides,” her voice grew quiet, “I know you are the last person who would want to hurt me.”

The sincerity of that statement brought Ben’s head back up. He swallowed. “They don’t know that,” he whispered. “All they see is Kylo Ren.”

She let out a heavy sigh and sunk to the floor.

“Thank you, by the way,” he said to her.

Rey looked up in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“For saving me,” he pushed past the lump in his throat, “in… every way possible.”

Ben made sure to pour his gratitude through the bond. He needed her to know that he would be eternally thankful. Because of her, he was able to find peace again.

She smiled up at him and nodded. “I’m so glad that I could. Thank you, for saving me too.”

He nodded. They both fell silent, each caught up in how the past week had changed their lives forever. Ben kept stealing glances at her. She openly stared at him, but he didn’t feel uncomfortable under her gaze.

“How did you know?” she blurted out.

The question threw him. “What?”

“How did you know that we are a dyad?”

“Oh.”

That wasn’t what he was expecting her to ask. He had to quickly reorient his thoughts.

“I suppose I always suspected something like it,” he began. “When I reached into your mind on Starkiller, I could feel the strength of it when you reached back into mine. I didn’t have time to dwell on it, though. I noticed it again when we fought. I almost had you beaten, but then I felt you reach through the Force and what I now know to be the bond. You took something. You stole my skills in the Force…”

“What? Steal?” Rey jumped at the accusation. “No, I would have known if I stole something from you.”

“Maybe ‘steal’ isn’t the right word,” Ben conceded. “’Absorbed’ might be better. But you did. It’s why you were able to reverse my attack on your mind. It’s how you escaped from your cell and it’s how you beat me even though you never fought with a lightsaber before. You have my fighting style. It’s why we are too evenly matched.”

He watched her wide eyes sift through her memories, searching for something that would contradict what he was saying. He was surprised when she looked sad.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I never meant to steal anything…”

“Rey,” he interrupted her, having none of her guilt. “Never apologize for doing what is necessary to defend yourself from a monster.”

He looked away from her again and continued speaking. “After Snoke died, I took everything he had, including a number of Sith texts and holocrons. One of them spoke about a Sith prophecy. It said that a dyad would rise in the Force – two that were one – something unseen for generations, and stronger than master and apprentice. I knew then that it was talking about us. The knowledge felt right. When Palpatine returned, I knew that we could beat him together.”

She silently pondered the information.

“I wonder if there is information on a dyad in the old Jedi texts,” she said eventually. “I can’t read much of them, and Leia never heard the term before, but…”

“You told Leia?” Ben interjected, alarm coloring his voice.

“Not at first,” she admitted. “I was afraid of what she might say, but that was silly. She…”

“Who else did you tell?” Ben interrupted again, standing to his feet.

Rey finally understood that this was upsetting him. She stood as well.

“Nobody,” she said.

Ben let out a breath. “You can’t tell anyone else about this, Rey. Promise me.”

“Why?” she asked.

His mind flashed to the vision he just saw. He refused to meet her eyes as he explained.

“If you tell them about the connection between us, you will lose your good standing with them. You will be compromised.”

“No, that won’t happen,” she shook her head.

Ben gritted his teeth and had to remind himself that he was nearly ten years her senior, that she was still naïve. He moved into her space.

“It will,” he contradicted. “What will they think when they find out that you have been connected all this time to the leader of their sworn enemy; that you had access to his mind, and he had access to yours? At best, you would lose their trust on the more sensitive matters. At worst, they would label you a traitor and set you up for a trial of your own. You can’t tell them.”

“Ben,” Rey looked unperturbed as his outburst. “That won’t happen. I know them.”

“You said yourself that they are being unreasonable,” Ben continued. “Who’s to say what they will do if they find out that there is a connection between us?”

“They can’t hold me accountable for something neither of us had any control over,” she said.

“No, but they can hold you accountable for not telling them in the first place,” he argued, “that you didn’t use it for the advantage of the Resistance.”

“I couldn’t do that. I’m not a spy.”

“It won’t matter. They won’t see it that way.”

“You don’t know them like I do. They just don’t understand yet that you’ve changed.”

“Which is exactly why they won’t trust you if they find out!”

“Alright, I won’t tell them!” she yelled back.

That was too quick of an agreement. He searched her intentions through the bond, hoping to see that she understood the seriousness of the situation, but he only felt her stubbornness. He brought his hands up to grab her and shake some sense into her but thought better of it and squeezed his fists instead. The movement brought up an old memory of his father’s expression of frustration when arguing with his mother. He growled, both at Rey and the memory, and spun on his heels.

“Ben,” her quiet voice called out to him again. Her hand rested between his shoulder blades and her touch seemed to drain all the fight out of him. He turned.

“Why is this so important?” she asked.

He bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t lie to her.

“I need to know that you’ll be safe,” he admitted.

She searched his expression. “Of course, I’ll be safe. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He felt his lips quiver. He didn’t stop his hand this time when it reached for the errant strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear.

“Rey, we both know how this ends.”

Ben watched as her confusion slowly turned into understanding and then rage.

“No!” she stepped back from him. “I won’t allow it! Not now! You just came back to yourself, your family. They will see who you are now.”

“It’s too little, too late. I will be executed for my war crimes,” he said over her. “No matter what you say or what I do, nothing can change the fact that I did monstrous things!”

“It won’t end in your death!” she screamed.

“You can’t change it!” he yelled back.

She drew herself back, straightening her shoulders. He felt her feral resolve in the Force.

“Watch me.”

Before he could answer, he felt the bond snap shut. She was gone. He was absolutely infuriated with her and ached for her all at once. Ben’s mind automatically reached out for her again. He felt her presence in the back of his awareness, but the visual link remained closed.

A moment later, Ben felt a warning in the Force and Threepio entered the room with a tray.

“Good evening, Master Ben!” the droid greeted.

Ben didn’t move from where he stood, didn’t even look at the droid. The worry that coursed through him over Rey set his nerves on edge. He clenched his fists.

“I have brought you the evening meal, sir,” the droid stated as he placed the tray on the table. The fact that it was evening already barely registered with Ben.

“Oh, my goodness,” he heard him exclaim. “You haven’t even touched your meals from this morning! Princess -General Organa will not be pleased. She is very worried about you, sir…”

“Get out, Threepio,” he ground through his teeth. The droid was pushing his limits.

“Well, sir, I would, but I was sent ahead to make sure that you…” the droid’s words were cut off by a shout of surprise.

Ben’s hand was stretched toward the floor, slowly pushing the droid through the Force. When Threepio’s back hit the force field, he bounced the droid against it and waited for whoever was watching to lower it. He shoved the flailing droid through the doorway when it fell.

“Well, I never!” the droid made his disapproval known.

Then two things happened at once. The first was that the hovering seeker droid set to guard him flew into the room, weapons at the ready. The second was the growing presence of his mother rounding the corner to the entryway to enter his cell. She stopped just inside the doorway.

In his surprise at the new visitors, he stumbled back, nearly knocking himself off balance when he hit the bed.

“That will be all Threepio,” General Organa told her droid while her eyes remained on Ben. The droid grumbled to itself all the way down the hall.

The former princess was simply dressed in a black shirt, pants, and a long leather vest. Her hair was braided in one long braid that hung over her shoulder. His eyes moved from the General to the ID9 droid. The only sound in the room was its soft mechanical hum. When he shifted to the side, it followed his movements.

“The droid is here for my protection,” the General said. “I tried to convince them that it was unnecessary, but with that display…” She eyed him meaningfully.

Ben just stared back at her not knowing what to say or what to think. He already felt strung out from the vision and from the conversation with Rey.

“I can’t do this right now,” he choked out the words. He wished he had somewhere to go. He wished he could force her back out the door too.

She blatantly ignored him and stepped further into the room. He noticed the satchel that she carried as she placed on the table. She pulled out a comb, a towel, and... cutting sheers? Then she dragged the chair to the middle of the room.

“I thought you’d like a haircut,” she said, gesturing to the chair.

A thousand thoughts whirled through Ben’s head. The part of him still paranoid with threats and attempts on his life ran through the possibilities of her trying to get close to end him for revenge. But he knew none of that made sense. She was still his mother, and he only felt a calm sense of peace from her in the Force.

Maybe it was a ploy to get him to talk to her? A distraction - time to gain information from him? That didn’t make sense either. He already gave them all the information they needed.

He remembered the times when he was young where she would sit him down and trim his hair for him. He refused to let anyone else touch it even when she was away for long periods of time. It was why his hair got longer and longer between cuts, and he learned to like the longer length. He always looked forward to the times she forced him to sit still and groom him. Those were some of the few times where her attention was solely devoted to him.

His mind betrayed him with the thought that he could use a trim. He had gone months without one in the search for the Wayfinder, then searching for Rey, and then everything after. On the other hand, he reminded himself that there was no point to it. Why would she waste her time with it? Unless…

Unless this was her way of dealing with the confrontation that neither of them wanted to have. He could understand that.

He ran a hand through his hair and wondered if he could let her touch it again – touch him again.

He chastised himself for being a coward, so before he could second guess himself, he walked to the chair, and sat. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers.

“Not too short,” he said.

…

Leia wasn’t sure that Ben would let her do this. She saw how shocked and confused he was with her offer. He stood there so long just staring at her that she was certain he was trying to decide how to nicely tell her to get lost. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he deftly moved and sat down in front of her.

His back was ramrod straight, his feet were wide apart, and his body was taught. She felt his uncertainty in the Force, but she rejoiced in the small choice he made to trust her.

“Not too short,” he said.

As if she could forget. He never let her cut his hair too short. He always liked it long enough to cover his ears and run his fingers through when he got nervous. She had to admit that his thick locks did look better with a bit of length. She would sometimes make a fuss about how he let it get too wild, but he would still remind her every time she sat him down, “ _Not too short, mom.”_

Leia picked up the comb and started to detangle it. She felt him tense beneath her, so she made sure to keep her movements fluid. The feeling of his hair between her fingers brought back memories of coming home after a long stint on other worlds to a little boy who was so excited to see her. She was always so tired from those trips and had little energy to entertain his enthusiasm. On some of those occasions, his hair would be so long that she would drag him to the fresher, sit him down, and tell him not to move as she cut the mop on his head. “ _Not too short, mom.”_

As she cut it, his mouth didn’t stop for breath as he told her all about what he learned in school, what trouble he got into with the droids, and what he got up to with dad and Chewie along the way. She would listen, nodding and encouraging him when he paused, but she wished she responded more to him in those precious moments.

She reached for the sheers on the table and brought them up to his locks. She hesitated, but just for a moment, before she made the first snip. She stopped, gauging Ben’s reaction. His hands were in fists now, but otherwise he didn’t move. She continued.

…

Ben didn’t realize that he was holding his breath for the first few snips until he felt his lungs start to burn. He struggled to let it out slowly, hoping she didn’t notice.

The gentle pull on his scalp felt good. Really good – cathartic even. His muscles relaxed minutely with each cut.

It had been so long since he let his higher brain functions turn off so he could just feel. A part of him couldn’t believe that he was letting himself do it. That voice in his head was prattling away, telling him he would regret this later, and that he shouldn’t let his guard down.

 _Just let me have this,_ he pleaded with himself. He felt her start to comb another section, and the voice was silenced.

Eventually, she moved in front of him to trim his bangs. He looked up at her and really saw her for the first time in a long time and realized how much he missed her. Sorrow crushed him and his eyes welled.

“Close your eyes, Ben,” her voice was so quiet.

He did as she asked, and two fat tears trailed down his cheeks. She was gentle but precise and was done before he noticed. She used her fingers to brush his bangs into the rest of his hair, fluffing it.

He opened his eyes as she pulled the sides, making sure the layers were even. She was focused on her task, but he could feel her trepidation and hopeful love in the Force; a love that made him ache. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand why she was being kind.

“You should hate me.” His voice cracked.

Her hands stilled and dropped to her sides. “I could never hate you.”

Her words affected him even though he didn’t want them to. “You should,” he repeated. He couldn’t meet her eyes. “What I did…” a lump formed in his throat and he couldn’t push the rest of the words out. Shame and grief engulfed him again, and he didn’t have the capacity to fight it anymore. He bent with the weight of it, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He tried his hardest to hold himself together.

He felt her hands pull his away from his face. He lifted his eyes and jolted when he saw that she was kneeling in front of him.

Her hand rested on his cheek, just as his father’s had.

“What you did…” she said, her voice heavy with emotion, “… it broke my heart.”

He wanted to look away, but she wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t quite catch his breath.

“But I want you to know,” she held his gaze, “I forgive you, Ben.”

Something inside him cracked. His eyes widened and he searched the Force for any deceit. He felt only affection and honesty.

A sob broke through the dam he so carefully erected all those years ago. He could feel himself losing control; he had no hope of fighting off the current about to drown him. Panic spiked, but his mom’s hand came up to grasp his, supporting him through the sudden onslaught of tears.

He suddenly realized how awkward her position was and slid out of the chair to sit beside her. Her arms pulled him to her, and he buried his face into her shoulder. He couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked him, and he held onto her like she was his only lifeline.

“Oh, my boy,” she whispered to him. Her fingers carded through his hair.

They stayed like that for a long, long time. By the time he had control over his breathing again, his head was pounding. He pulled back. His face was a mess. His eyes traced the wet spot on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” his voice was rough. He was sorry for Han. He was sorry for failing. He was sorry for everything.

“I’ve also made my mistakes,” she told him. “I know that I had my part in pushing you to Snoke.” Her voice was so sad; her presence in the Force grew heavy with regret. He shook his head, but she placed a finger over his lips to stop him from speaking.

“I’m sorry too,” she said.

He didn’t know how to respond. He looked at her – really looked at her – and felt a piece of himself shift back into place.

She smiled at him, and he felt safe. It wasn’t perfect, nor was it everything that needed said, but it was a start. He moved to stand and helped her up in the process. Her hand cupped his cheek again.

“I love you,” she said. Ben swallowed another sob.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it was time for some healing for Ben, don't you?! *cries*  
> For all of you who like his long hair - I DO TOO but the length is now something like this -  
> https://www.designscene.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Adam-Driver-GQ-Magazine-Paola-Kudacki-01.jpg


	8. Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo's tribunal begins. 
> 
> I also would like to send a special thank you to my beta for this chapter. He helped immensely with the Resistance characters and the like. Time for some shameless promotion! Check out his website with a number of Star Wars shorts that he wrote:  
> https://agalaxyofstories.weebly.com/

The next morning came all too quickly for Poe. He hadn’t slept a wink. With all the new information that Ren gave them, he was busy planning the attacks on the remaining First Order bases of operation positioned around the galaxy. They were even able to raid a weapons warehouse. The team they sent took everything they possibly could and blew the rest up. 

The Resistance still had to figure out, though, who was in charge of the dying army as not all officers of the enemy were accounted for. Ren’s list of leaders was thorough, a fact still shocking to the young general, but the former Supreme Leader no longer knew of their whereabouts. They were stuck hunting for them the old-fashioned way.

Kylo Ren’s surrender still seemed unreal to him. He couldn’t figure out why the man did it. Nothing about it made sense. What makes a monster suddenly turn sides and assist the enemy in defeating his own regime? Rey – newly appointed Jedi Master Rey, that is – still believed the man was changed. She told him that Ren helped her on Exegol, but that did not excuse the mountain of sins that he committed. Poe wasn’t even sure that he wanted to believe her. He still had nightmares about having his mind ripped open and his memories laid bare before the monster.

Poe made his way to the converted conference room that would hold Kylo Ren’s tribunal and double-checked the security put in place along the way. There were two guards outside the large double doors at the back of the room. Inside were three more reprogrammed seeker droids; the fourth would arrive with the prisoner. Four Resistance guards were at the head of the room behind the long, arched table that held seven chairs for the council members. There would be two guards on either side of Ren when he stood at the center of the room. LD-3 was off to the side along with two other droids ready to fetch water and other refreshments. Everything looked ready enough. He sat in the head chair and pulled up the documents he needed on the holopad in front of him.

Poe looked at this tribunal as a formality and a massive waste of time. He would never say that to anyone, especially to Leia, but there was only one outcome. Kylo Ren would be put to death for his crimes. This formal military tribunal was for the sake of following the rules of galactic war, and of course, for the peace of mind of a mother.

Leia would not be joining them for the hearing for obvious reasons. No one who was not an assigned as guard or a chosen council member was allowed in the room. The only non-military personnel would be Rey, since it was necessary for her knowledge of the Force to be present. She was also chosen as Ren’s defense speaker should he be brazen enough to plead ‘not guilty’. Poe sincerely hoped he wouldn’t. He did not want to have to go through the piles of overwhelming evidence proving his guilt, merely prolonging the inevitable conviction. If Ren pleaded guilty, it would shave off hours of time and get them back to the task of finding and defeating the rest of the First Order.

The Resistance council began arriving shortly after Poe. Rey was the first to enter. Poe looked up from his place at the center of the table and acknowledged her with a nod. She did the same. They were not particularly on good speaking terms at the moment. She sat at the far end of the table to his right, two empty seats between them.

The next three to enter were Colonel Aftab Ackbar, Commander D’Acy, and former Lieutenant, now Captain Connix. They each sat to his left in order of rank. They greeted each other quietly and settled in for the long haul.

General Lando Calrissian entered on his own and quietly took his place beside Rey, leaving a spot for General Finn. Finn would arrive with the prisoner and his guards.

Ren was being transferred from the other side of the city in a secure transport. They kept everything as quiet as possible. No one knew the former Supreme Leader was being held on the outskirts of Cloud City except his guards, and of course the council. Poe was nervous about such a transfer, but so far, they heard of no problems from Finn’s side of things.

Poe picked up the comm on the table and spoke, “Okay, Finn. We’re all here. You can bring him.”

It took nearly five more minutes of waiting in awkward silence before the double doors opened and the entourage of guards entered with Kylo Ren at the center. He still looked very different than what Poe expected. He wore a blue sweater and tan trousers, and his hands were cuffed in front of him. His hair was shorter from the visit his mother made the night before. He had dark rings under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept through the night. At least Poe wasn’t the only one who hadn’t slept properly.

General Dameron watched as the guards escorted Ren to the center of the room and took their positions around him. Finn rounded the table and sat between Lando and himself. Once Finn was seated, Poe activated a program on the holopad and a circular wall of a force field surrounded the prisoner from the ceiling. It was old technology that General Calrissian somehow got his hands on, but Poe never liked to ask for the details.

It was time to get started.

“Good morning to everyone,” Poe started. He was every bit the professional officer his rank suggested. “The proceedings of this council will be under the rules and regulations of a galactic military tribunal to deliberate on and decide the fate of the prisoner Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader of the First Order.

“This jury council has been chosen to represent the Resistance in fair judgement. To my left are Colonel Aftab Ackbar, Commander D’Acy, and Captain Connix. To my right are seated General Finn, General Lando Calrissian, and Jedi Master Rey. I, General Poe Dameron, will be acting as magistrate over this tribunal.

“The council has chosen Jedi Master Rey to speak for the prisoner in defense, should the prisoner choose to plead ‘not-guilty’. However, the prisoner has the right to reject this choice and speak for himself,” Poe continued. He looked to Ren. “Do you have any objections to your representation?”

Ren was glaring at Rey, and Rey was very obviously glaring back at him. Poe wondered what possibly could have been going through their minds. He cleared his throat and the prisoner looked back to him. Ren sighed and shook his head. Good. This would hopefully go quickly.

Poe nodded. “Then we will proceed with the hearing.”

…

Ben had to bite his tongue when Poe said that Rey would represent him. He glowered at her, knowing exactly what she thought she was doing, even though he knew it to be pointless. She held his gaze, challenging him to reject it, and he nearly did. But he was also too exhausted to put up a fight. After his mother left his cell the night before, he was afraid to sleep and afraid to meditate. He spent the night pacing and trying his hardest not to think.

“Then we will proceed with the hearing,” Dameron said, bringing Ben back to the present. “The following are the charges against the Kylo Ren in regards to his war crimes alone: the taking of hostages, the torture of prisoners of war, the murder of unarmed prisoners, the killing of civilians in violation of the principles of distinction under the Galactic Republic Law, and association with the First Order’s act of genocide against the Hosnian Prime system.”

Ben inwardly cringed. With his crimes laid out before him, he felt lower than the mud on his shoes.

“How does the prisoner plead?” General Dameron asked.

Ben looked around the table to those who sat in judgment. They all knew what he had to say.

“Guilty,” he said. He looked to Rey. She looked like a fire had been lit under her, but Ben knew that there was nothing she could do now. There was no defense.

Poe continued. “As the prisoner has pleaded guilty on all charges,” he said, “we will proceed to the sentencing phase.”

Ben mentally readied himself for the inevitable.

“These crimes are considered the highest offense against civilization in the galactic community and, therefore, the prescribed punishment is execution,” Poe said. “However, the sentencing of an execution within a military tribunal needs a unanimous vote of seven jury members to carry out.”

“As I call out your name,” General Dameron continued, “please say “yes” in favor of the execution of Kylo Ren also known as Ben Solo. Say “no” if you are not in favor.”

Ben knew how this would go now. He nearly rolled his eyes.

“Captain Connix?”

“Yes,” was the reply.

“Commander D’Acy?”

“Yes.”

“Colonel Ackbar?”

“Yes.”

“My vote,” Dameron said, “is ‘yes.’ General Finn?”

Finn took his time looking over Ben. “Yes,” he finally answered.

“General Calrissian?” Poe continued down the table.

“No,” came the firm answer.

Ben’s head shot up at the unexpected vote. Calrissian’s face was unreadable.

Poe sighed heavily before the last name. “Master Rey?”

“No,” she said. At least that answer was expected.

“The vote stands at five for execution, and two against,” Poe said. “I will now open up the table for discussion for the sentencing of the accused.”

Rey turned to her peers. “General Dameron, if I may?”

Poe sighed lightly and waved her on. She turned to address the table.

“I understand that the prisoner has pleaded guilty on all accounts,” Rey began. “However, I make a motion for this tribunal to drop all charges against the accused.”

Colonel Ackbar spoke up. “That request is unreasonable under undeniable guilt.”

“This is highly irregular, Master Rey,” Poe agreed.

“Is it?” Rey challenged. “Is it unreasonable to ask to show mercy to the man who is responsible for the Resistance winning the battle at Exegol? Is it unreasonable to ask to spare the life of the man who has single-handedly given us the means to win this war?”

“You say that he is responsible for us winning at the battle of Exegol?” Commander D’Acy asked. “How so? It is our understanding that you were the one to defeat the late Emperor Palpatine.”

“I may have delivered the killing blow,” Rey said, “but the battle may have been lost long before that.”

Rey stood from her seat and moved around the table to face the Resistance leaders.

“General Finn,” she faced her friend. “When we left Pasaana on Ochi’s ship, after I lost control of my powers, I confided in you something that the Force showed me. Do you remember what I said?”

“I do,” he said.

“Could you please share that?” Rey asked.

Finn looked uncomfortable with sharing the information. “You told me that you had a vision of the Throne of the Sith and who was on it. You told me that on it sat Ren… and you.”

Ben thought back to a moment before all this had happened when he stood in his quarters meditating with a hand on his grandfather’s mask. He saw that too. They must have shared the same vision. He looked around at the council members and noted how they looked downright uneasy at the news. He couldn’t blame them. The knowledge that Rey could have turned to the darkness just as easily as he did made him nauseous. He thanked the Force that she was still the blinding light that brought him home to his mother.

“That, obviously, didn’t happen,” Poe said. It sounded more like a question than a statement.

“No,” Rey confirmed. “But it was closer to occurring than you think.”

Rey looked over to Ben. He looked back, confused. He could not figure out where she was going with this.

“When I reached the throne room in the temple at Exegol, I faced the Emperor alone. I couldn’t beat him, and the Resistance forces were being overwhelmed long before any backup arrived with General Calrissian. I watched as the ships of my friends were falling out of the sky and I could do nothing to stop it. The Emperor said that was why I was there – I would kill him in anger and hatred and in doing so, I would open up myself to the dark side of the Force. I would take his place on the throne and could order the halt on the attack myself. I could think of no other solution to save you all. It was like he was in my head blocking out all hope and light. I was lost. I raised my saber to kill him.”

As Ben listened to her tale, he wished that he could have spared her from being touched by something so dark. He knew all too well what it was like to have that monster take up residence in your head.

“Then Ben was there,” she resumed. “He chose to abandon his past and stand beside me to fight the greatest evil in the galaxy. If he didn’t come at that exact moment, the battle would have been lost and you would have been hunting me down.”

Captain Connex spoke up. “How do we know that helping you win wasn’t for his own purposes? Palpatine was, after all, a threat to his supremacy in the galaxy.”

“Because he did more than save me from falling to the dark side – he saved my life,” Rey said. “When I struck the Emperor with a final blow, he was alive long enough to impale me in the back with a lightsaber. It was a mortal wound.”

Ben winced at the memory. It was worst moment of his life.

“As I lay dying, Ben held me,” Rey said. “He healed me. He transferred his life force into me, just like I did to the creature on Pasaana. Only since this was a mortal wound, he nearly died in the process.”

Rey paused to allow the council time to process the information.

“Why did you save her?” Commander D’Acy asked.

Rey took a breath to answer, but D’Acy held up her hand. “I’d like to hear this answer from the prisoner himself.”

Ben chewed his cheek. What could he say – that he loved her? That would definitely go over well. He settled on the simplest answer he could think of that was also the truth.

“She saved me,” he said.

“So, your act to save her was to settle a debt,” Poe accused.

“Poe…” Rey chastised him.

“What did she save you from?” D’Acy asked Ben.

“She saved me from the darkness.”

“How?” D’Acy pushed.

Ben paused to consider the implications of his answers. He had to protect Rey as much as he could. He had to be mindful to say nothing that would hurt her relationship with them.

“She was the only one who believed that I was not completely lost,” Ben answered, “that I could break free from the hold of the darkness over me.”

“While that sounds all well and good,” Poe jumped in, “I’m struggling to see how turning from the dark side atones for the massive amount of crimes that he committed.”

“I agree,” Colonel Ackbar said.

“Wait a moment,” D’Acy said. Her eyes pierced Ben’s. “I’m not ready to move on. I am struggling with something else about that statement. To my knowledge, Master Rey and Kylo Ren met a total of three times before the battle of Exegol. The first was the encounter at Starkiller. The next was Rey’s assassination of Supreme Leader Snoke, and the third was reported on the moon of Endor amongst the wreckage of the Death Star. How did these encounters provide Master Rey with the opportunity to ‘save you’ – especially if you were engaged in combat?”

She was smart, he’d give her that. Ben had no answer that wouldn’t give away their Force bond. They were all waiting for an answer, clearly bemused at the current answers scrutinized under her logical assessment.

“Ben,” Rey said. He didn’t look at her. Instead, he came up with the best answer he could.

“It was on the _Supremacy,_ ” he carried on hoping she got the idea to shut up. “I brought her before Supreme Leader Snoke and she killed him –”

“Vital signs suggest the previous statement by the prisoner is false.” The LD-3 unit suddenly sparked to life causing a deadly silence to fall on the room.

“Fascinating.” Poe smirked at him. “Which part of that statement is false?” he asked.

Ben bit the inside of his lip. He forgot about the droid.

“I didn’t kill Snoke,” Rey said.

Finn turned to her then to Ben. “Yes, you did. You killed him and escaped on the Millennium Falcon to help us at Crait.”

“No, I didn’t,” she said. “Ben killed him to save me.”

“To save you?” Finn asked.

“I did face Snoke,” Rey said, “but he was too strong for me. He overpowered me and commanded his apprentice to execute me. Instead, Ben turned on his master and killed him to save me.”

“Again,” Poe said, “how do we know that was to save your life? He is a Sith. They kill their masters. I mean, look at what happened afterwards. He took his master’s place.”

“Also, that still doesn’t answer the question of how Rey found the time to ‘save’ Kylo Ren from the dark side of the Force,” Colonel Ackbar brought the conversation back around.

Ben groaned quietly. They were not letting this go. He turned to Rey hoping that he could get the message through to her to not say anything. She looked back with conviction. He felt her decision in the Force.

“Ben and I -” Rey started.

“Rey!” Ben said, knowing it was too late. “Don’t.”

“No, please do,” Dameron said. “What in the galaxy could be so important?”

“Ben and I,” Rey said again, “have a connection in the Force.”

Ben closed his eyes and lowered his head in defeat. It was quiet for a long few moments.

General Calrissian leaned forward, finally joining in on the conversation. “What kind of connection in the Force?”

“Since Starkiller base, Ben and I have been able to see and speak with each other across the galaxy,” Rey said, meeting their gazes head on. He wished she wouldn’t have done that. He couldn’t save her now. He was only there to drag her through the muck with him. 

“Why hasn’t this come up before, Rey?” Dameron asked. His expression was closed off. “It seems like a vital piece of information in the war against the First Order.”

“It wasn’t,” she stated. “This is something that deals with the Force, and since I am the authority in this room on everything that deals with the Force, you should trust my judgment. This was not something anyone needed to know until now. It was a personal connection. It still is. It’s how I know that he has changed.”

“How does it work?” Commander D’Acy asked.

Rey was the image of patience. “At first it was random; the bond would open and close with no control over it. We can see each other, and we can talk.”

“You say it was random at first,” Ackbar said, “suggesting that it could be controlled later on.”

“Only sometimes,” Rey admitted. “Neither of us are completely sure how it works.”

Finn, who was quietly assessing everything, spoke his piece. “That’s how he found us on Pasaana, isn’t it? And on his ship?”

Ben let out a long breath through his nose. This had gone far enough. He would not let them think she betrayed them.

“Yes,” he said to the council. All eyes turned to him. “The first time she was wearing a necklace that my team traced to the festival. The next time, we were fighting, and an artifact I knew to be in my quarters on my destroyer was knocked to my side of the bond. She never betrayed you.”

Poe turned to the LD-3 unit. It remained silent at Ben’s statement.

“That still does not excuse that fact that you never told us,” Dameron said. “You shouldn’t have waited until now – Ren’s trial – to spring this information on us.”

“I planned to tell you when it was necessary,” Rey would not back down. “It became necessary for you to know now so that you know the whole truth about Ben. The only way that we could fight the Emperor was through the bond. We are more powerful together than apart. We are one in the Force.”

“And what exactly does that mean?” Poe asked.

“It means exactly what I said,” Rey told them. “We are a dyad in the Force – two that are one.”

“So, you guys share the same… mind… or something?” Finn said, obviously struggling to grip the concept.

“Wait, he’s in your mind?” Captain Connix asked anxiously.

“No, not like that,” Rey replied.

“How do we know he is not in there now, controlling you?” Colonel Ackbar said.

“He can’t control me,” Rey said, her voice firm.

“Even if he can’t control you, how can we trust what you say now?” Poe asked.

“What?” Rey asked. Ben felt her hurt in the Force.

“Of course, we can trust her,” Lando jumped in. “Look at everything she has done for the Resistance.”

“But she lied,” Poe said, “and it’s just now coming out. How do we know what else she told us was the truth?”

“You have a lie detector droid,” Rey said. “Use it on me.”

Poe sat back and waved her forward. “Fire away, El-dee.”

Rey moved forward standing directly in front of Ben, and Ben’s heart leaped in his chest at the familiarity of it. The vision he had the day before flashed across his mind. Rey began talking.

“Ben and I are connected, yes, but nothing will change for the Resistance. He -”

She cut herself off, gazing off to the side. He knew she felt the same warning he did in the Force.

He banged on the force field but couldn’t reach for her.

He heard himself scream. “Rey, get down!”

An explosion blew apart the far wall behind the leaders of the Resistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to keep the proceedings of the hearing as close to reality as possible. In the U.S., a military tribunal proceeds very closely to that of a court martial. Seven military members of a jury are required for a vote of execution and no less. Don't worry we aren't finished here. :)


	9. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The city is under attack, but is that all the Resistance has to worry about?

Ben’s arms came up on instinct. He pushed as much of the explosion back through the wall as he could with the Force, but the initial impact of the burst of energy already caused damage. The Resistance leaders were thrown throughout the room, and the droids and two guards closest to the explosion were buried in the rubble, most likely dead. The force field around Ben fizzled out and he immediately went to help Rey who was knocked to the floor.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he helped her up with his cuffed hands.

She nodded, pulling herself up the rest of the way. They both looked around to the others. Rey made her way over to her friends, helping Finn up first, who was nursing his shoulder. General Calrissian sat dazed on the floor, a hand pressed to his head to stop the wound there from bleeding. Poe was up and moving, helping Ackbar and Connix drag an unconscious D’Acy away from the debris. The guards to Ben’s right had already left the room searching for medical assistance.

Poe was trying repeatedly to get a hold of anyone on the comms, but the device remained dead in his hands.

Ben was at a loss of what to do or how to help the others. Alarms were blaring throughout the building and Ben could hear panicked shouts outside the room through the hole in the wall. He stood awkwardly until one of the other guards, a female with dark skin and curly hair, made her way over to him and trained her weapon on him. The guard beside her followed suit.

“Don’t try anything,” she warned. He held his hands up as much as he could with the large shackles on them.

It was at that moment that Dameron remembered Ben’s presence. His face turned vicious as he pulled out his blaster and stormed over to Ben, aiming the weapon between his eyes.

“What the hell did you do?” he sneered.

“How could I have done anything?” Ben retorted.

“Poe, stop it,” Rey’s voice called out. “He held back most of the explosion. If it weren’t for him, the majority of us would be dead.”

Poe conceded the fact that the damage could have been a lot worse and lowered his blaster.

“Poe,” Finn called, his voice commanded attention and Poe finally broke eye contact with Ben. “We need to get a medic in here,” he said.

At that moment, Commander Rose Tico sprinted into the room. “Poe! Finn! We have trouble!” She paused to usher in a pair of medical droids to help the wounded. “Scans are showing a Star Destroyer in orbit over the city. A transport has landed with troops. I don’t know how they found us, but we are under attack!”

Poe glared one more time at Ben before stepping into command. “Where has the transport landed?”

“Just outside this facility at the east entrance,” Rose said. “Our forces met them there, but we were caught off guard. They knocked out our comms and sent a missile to this sector before we could get out a warning.”

“Do you think they are here for him?” Connix gestured to Ben from her place beside Commander D’Acy.

“I doubt it,” Colonel Ackbar answered.

“Whatever we are going to do, we need to act quickly,” Lando said as he was being treated.

“He’s right,” Poe said. “Rose, I need you to stay here with the wounded. Make sure they get to the infirmary. Ackbar, I need you to organize what Resistance fighters we have in the surrounding facilities in a counterattack. Whatever weapons we have, use them. Finn, Rey, I need you to head to the east entrance. Use whatever means necessary to keep them at bay.”

Finn nodded. “What about you?” he asked.

“I’m sure Leia is trying to organize an air strike,” Poe said. “I’m going to go find her and see what can be done on that front.”

“What about Ben?” Rey asked.

“Oh, I’m not letting him out of my sight,” Poe said, slapping a hand on Ben’s shoulder. 

An explosion from the other side of the complex rocked the room they were standing in.

“Sounds like they sent another missile,” Ackbar noted.

“Alright, no more wasting time. Jannah and Tem, you two keep on him until we can get to the control room,” Poe said, gesturing to Ben.

“Yes, sir,” they said together.

Poe took a look around at his friends. “Move out. May the Force be with you.”

Ben watched as they all left to their orders. Rey paused a moment before turning to leave to look back at him. Ben’s heart hammered in his chest at the thought of her going to fight, but he knew he shouldn’t worry. He knew she was more than capable of keeping herself alive. He just hoped she wouldn’t do anything stupid.

 _Stay safe,_ her eyes said.

He nodded. _You too._ He watched her unclip his grandfather’s lightsaber from her belt and ran from the room.

“Let’s move, Ren,” Poe said, leading them out in the opposite direction.

Ben followed Dameron out of the room, his two guards behind him. They took off at a run. Halfway down the hall, a couple of Resistance fighters sprinted ahead of them from an adjacent corridor. 

“Conunda! Dyun!,” Dameron called.

“General Dameron,” the man greeted. The young man recoiled at the sight of Ben but quickly recovered himself. “We heard about the attack. Our comms are down so we we’re headed to the control room for orders.”

“That’s where we are headed,” Dameron said, breaking into a run again. “Keep up. Any other news as to how they found – ?”

Another explosion rebounded from the room at the far end of the hall, taking out the wall. Through the smoke, blaster fire shot out at them, forcing them to press against the walls and return fire.

“Get back!” Poe shouted.

The small group of fighters retreated to the intersecting hallway, but not before they saw the enemy step through the opening made by the blast.

They were red troopers.

Ben’s brain jumped at the sight of them. These weren’t First Order. These were Sith troopers, dedicated only to the late Emperor and the Final Order. He ducked as a blaster bolt shot over his shoulder and dove into the cover of the hallway, nearly losing his balance. He wished they would have at least taken the cuffs off.

“They are red!” Dyun shouted as he took a defensive position.

“I can see that,” Poe snapped, leaning around the wall to fire. He stood over Tem, who was crouched low in defense, while Jannah still held Ben at blaster-point around the corner. Captain Conunda and Lieutenant Dyun mirrored them on the other side of the hall.

“ _Why_ are they red?” Tem asked aloud.

Ben took the initiative in answering. “They are Sith troopers – loyalists to the Final Order. That Star Destroyer is probably one of the few that wasn’t on Exegol during the battle.”

“Then why haven’t they just obliterated us from orbit?” Jannah asked over the blaster fire.

“They must have been disabled by the forces of whatever system they were occupying,” Dameron said. “That’s the control room up ahead. We need to get to it. Ideas?”

One of the many blaster bolts assaulting them found its mark in Lieutenant Dyun’s chest. He slumped to the floor as the Captain Conunda cried out to him. Tears streamed down her face as she took up his position.

Ben growled in frustration at his inability to do anything. He addressed Dameron. “Take the cuffs off. I can help.”

“Over my dead body,” Dameron yelled at him.

“That’s fine by me,” Ben snarked back. “I can wait. I just thought it would be better than watching your comrades drop one by one.”

“It’s not happening, Ren!” Poe’s stubbornness didn’t waver.

Ben glowered at him. He would wager that the five of them would last no longer than three minutes with their current system of defense. In sick confirmation to his thoughts, another bolt struck Tem in the shoulder, forcing him back. Jannah pulled him out of the way to take his place in the barrage.

Ben gritted his teeth at what he had to do. He pulled Tem further out of the way and reached into the Force.

“You will uncuff me and hand over your blaster,” Ben said. He watched as the command took effect, glazing the man’s eyes over.

“I will uncuff you give you my blaster,” Tem repeated. Ben held out his hands as the guard pulled out the key.

Poe glanced over at what was happening. “What the – Tem! Stop what you’re doing, this instant!” His words had no effect.

Were it not for the enemy pushing its way down the hall, Ben was sure that Dameron and his subordinates would have already riddled him with blaster bolts.

“Why don’t you keep your focus on the enemy that is _actually_ trying to kill you?” Ben said to them. He took the blaster from the guard and immersed himself in the Force, just like he did when he escaped his own troops, and readied himself to attack.

…

Poe was quickly losing control of the situation. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Ren was probably the only shot they had at holding their position. That didn’t mean he trusted the man enough to take that option.

He nearly turned to shoot Ren in the head when he realized what the man was doing to Tem, but another of the red troopers inched down the hall and Poe had to take the shot.

“Ren, I swear, you will pay for that,” Poe said. His heart was beating wildly in his chest at the site of the former Supreme Leader with a blaster.

“Try not to shoot me if you want to live,” Ren said.

And with that, Ren spun around the corner of the wall and began his assault.

Ren’s arm stretched out in front of him and deflected a bolt to the floor and then one to the ceiling. Poe watched him dodge, spin, and lunge out of the way as he fired the blaster in his other hand. Every so often, the body of a red trooper would rise into the air and be flung into a wall or another trooper.

Each shot Ren took hit its mark, and troopers dropped at a steady pace. It was mesmerizing to watch; a deadly dance with a power that Poe could barely comprehend. He was begrudgingly grateful that this power was currently on their side, instead of working against them.

Before they knew it, Ren’s attack was over. None of the enemy troops were left moving. Poe realized that his blaster was still up, but he didn’t remember taking a shot at the enemy troops while Ren ripped his way through them.

Slowly, the four Resistance fighters moved down the hallway to flank their unpredicted ally. Ren was catching his breath as he stared into the smoking gap in the wall. Poe stood beside him, eyeing the blaster in the other man’s hand with caution. Ren caught him looking at it and he rolled his eyes and handed it back to Tem. The young general blinked at the surrender of the weapon but shook himself out of it to focus on the task at hand.

“Are there anymore troops in there?” Poe asked Ren as he raised his weapon in front of him. Poe was met with silence. He looked to the man he questioned. Ren’s gaze was ahead and not all together present. It was a look he often saw on Rey.

Poe whistled to get his attention. Ren met his eyes and looked around him at the others.

“You’re asking me?” he looked genuinely surprised at the notion.

Jannah scoffed. “Well you are the only one here who knows how to use the Force,” she said.

Ren blinked at each of them in turn. “I don’t think so,” he said, eventually, “but something doesn’t feel right. I would proceed with care.”

“Noted,” Poe said as he led the group forward.

They split as they got closer, using the broken walls as cover – Poe, Jannah, and Ben to one side, and Tem and Conunda to the other. Poe silently gave the order to enter.

The five of them made their way into their designated command room and were met with no adversaries. Debris littered the floor. Battle screens and computers lay scattered throughout, many sparking and blinking with residual power.

“Where is everyone?” Conunda asked.

“That’s a great question,” Poe said, turning his head to catch a glimpse of anything that would give them answers. As he turned, he stopped to watch Ren whose eyes were closed. An odd look settled onto his face, like he was listening to something only he could hear. He abruptly opened his eyes and walked to the far side of the room and around one of the broken computer stations.

“Here,” Ren called. Poe followed him, watching Ren reach out a hand and then immediately back up, both hands held up in a non-threatening manner. Someone was over there.

Poe spun around the corner of the consul as quickly as he could. “Aarton!”

Lieutenant Aarton Chireen was huddled in the corner. One of his hands held a blaster to Ren’s head while the other put pressure on a blaster wound in his thigh. When the Lieutenant saw Poe, he lowered the blaster in relief.

“General,” he acknowledged. His heavy accent made Poe smile.

“It’s so good to see you,” Poe said. “What happened?”

“It was a diversion –” Chireen told them, “the attack at the east entrance and the explosions. They came in quietly, taking us all by surprise, and held us all at blaster point. One asked for General Organa, saying that she would come with them if she wanted the people here to live. There were too many of them. They were taking everyone with them, but I couldn’t go without a fight. I threw the mortar that took out the wall, but I was shot. I must have hit my head when I fell. By the time I came to, everyone was gone. Leia, Maz, Garftron, Angon… They were all taken.”

While Chireen told his tale, Poe looked around the immediate area. He saw where the troops entered the room – a storage closet was opened, and the back wall had a hole burned out of the metal wall. He groaned. This was not how Poe was expecting this day to go.

“Alright,” Poe said when he finished speaking, “we need to get you medical attention. Then we need to get after them.”

“I haven’t found a med pack,” Jannah said, turning back from her search of the room.

Poe sighed heavily, torn between taking the man to the med bay and going after those captured. He flinched slightly as Ren silently knelt down beside him and laid a hand on the man’s leg. Chireen tried to pull out of his grasp, but Ren held firm. Poe watched as the Force-user closed his eyes and fell into a trance, just as Rey did when she healed the giant serpent on Pasaana. They all watched in rapt fascination as the wound in the Lieutenant’s leg slowly closed over, leaving his leg good as new.

Ren opened his eyes and stood, not meeting any of their gazes. He left the others to help Chireen up. The newly healed man openly gaped at their prisoner, trying to reconcile the act with the man they all knew as Kylo Ren.

“Thank you,” the Lieutenant said, swallowing his shock.

Ren acknowledged the sentiment with a nod but said nothing. He moved to assess the storage room where the troops infiltrated their command center.

“If you want to go after them,” Ren said, “I suggest following as quickly as possible.”

“Of course, we are going after them,” Poe said. He stopped and realized that he just agreed with Kylo Ren. “Wait a minute,” he grabbed Ren by the arm and turned him to face him. “Are you suggesting we follow you?”

Ren met his gaze. “If you want to get your people back, you will need my help.”

“Why are you helping?” Poe asked.

Ren turned to meet his eyes. His voice was calm. “She is my mother.”

Poe ground his teeth together and looked to those under his command. They all waited for his orders. He looked back to Ren, cursing the fact that he was right. They needed him and they needed to move fast.

It was ironic. Even after all the times that Rey, Leia, and Finn (to an extent) told him that Kylo Ren turned from the dark side, he couldn’t comprehend it being that simple. He couldn’t believe them, nor did he want to. There was nothing that could be _said_ or _explained_ that would convince him of the change in the man in front of him.

Poe was a man of action, through and through. He based his opinion on people by their acts, simply because that’s how he expressed himself to others. When Ren captured him over a year ago and held him prisoner, he didn’t think he could ever find him redeemable. Ren’s actions gave way to his malicious intent, and there was nothing that he saw Ren do that would prove otherwise. Not even the reliable word of Rey was enough to convince him that the man had changed – that he fought with her for more than his own victory against the Emperor. He had to see this so called change for himself in a way that he understood.

Maybe, just maybe, Poe could see what they meant now. If he were to be honest with himself, he should have noticed the difference in him in their interrogation sessions. And maybe he did notice, but he was in too much denial to realize the implications of that knowledge. But risking your life – that was a statement Poe heard loud and clear. There was no strategic reason for Ren to have helped them against the red troopers. Ren was right – all he had to do was wait for them to be picked off one by one for him to be free to do things how he wanted. Healing a stranger also had no strategic value.

The subtle differences that Poe noticed in him recently suddenly lined up to what his behavior was saying. His actions no longer spoke of evil intent, and that was something Poe was rapidly trying to wrap his brain around. Poe still didn’t think he could trust him, but he was familiar with the phrase “the enemy of my enemy is my friend” and all that…

“Damn it,” Poe muttered in defeat. “Give him a blaster.”

“Are you sure?” Tem asked him as he handed Ren a weapon from one of the fallen troopers.

“Nope,” Poe said, “but he’s right. We won’t get far without him if we want to stop them before they leave orbit. And we better go now before I come to my senses.”

Ren searched Poe’s expression, looking just as stunned as the rest of them at his decision.

“You better not screw us over, Ren,” he threatened. “One wrong move…”

“And you shoot me in the head,” Ren finished. “I got it the first time.”

“Just so we’re clear,” Poe stated. “Aarton, I need you to stay here and try to get our comms working again. Conunda, while he is working on getting those up, I need you to get a message to the rest of the base as to what happened. Get to Finn or Rey first. Jannah, Tem, I’m not going to order to follow if you don’t want to.”

The two former storm troopers shared a glance. “We’re staying with you,” Jannah said.

Poe nodded. “Alright, Ren,” he huffed at the words about to come out of his mouth. “Lead on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with me, for all your kudos and comments! I love you all so much!
> 
> This chapter was actually going to be almost double the length, but i decided it would be best to cut it in half and give you it now than make you all wait longer. 
> 
> The people named in this chapter that may seem unfamiliar are in the Rise of Skywalker Encyclopedia. The red Sith troopers and information about them can also be found in the book.


	10. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and the Resistance must work together to defeat this new threat. 
> 
> Thank you all for being amazing readers! I hope you enjoy this one!!

If someone would have told Ben that this was how his day was going to go, he would have never believed them. He woke up this morning fully expecting to be sentenced to die. Now he still might die, but it would be on a rescue mission, working side by side with the Resistance General who was the number one advocate for ending him in the first place.

Ben was running ahead of the three Resistance fighters, blaster in hand, following his instincts in the Force. He stopped at a corner, motioning for the others to remain silent. He peaked around the edge of the wall to gaze onto a large landing pad connected to the facility. A transport occupied the space. Ben could see five of the Resistance fighters lined up beside the boarding ramp being fitted with cuffs. Leia was among them. Ben also saw that the few prisoners were entirely surrounded by what was left of the platoon that he didn’t annihilate inside.

“Well, what is it?” Dameron’s voice was entirely too loud.

“Keep it down,” Ben hissed. “There’s a transport ahead and almost an entire platoon of troopers surrounding your leaders. I don’t think we can get to them.”

Poe huffed at his assessment. “Let me see.” Dameron yanked his arm, pulling him out of his way and moved to see for himself.

“Crap,” was his sentiment as he turned back to them. “There’s at least five or six troopers to prisoner and half of them are between us and them.”

Ben watched Dameron check and recheck his blaster as he thought out their options. “This is not how I expected this day to go,” he said.

Ben couldn’t agree more. “You and me both.”

Dameron gave him an odd look before shaking his head.

“Why are they trying to capture them?” Jannah whispered to Poe. “Wouldn’t it be easier if they just killed all of us and moved on?”

“Easier, maybe,” Ben answered her. “But they are weak after such a defeat on Exegol. They would need to make some kind of show of power and fast if they didn’t want to lose the war. Kidnapping the leaders of the enemy is exactly the kind of move they would need. They would only have to announce it to the rest of the galaxy to hold a semblance of power again.”

They all gawked at him, and he shrugged. “It’s what I would do,” he told them.

“Of course, it is,” Dameron muttered.

“So, what do we do?” Tem asked.

“Well, we could stow aboard,” Dameron thought aloud.

“Not possible,” Ben argued. “There are too many for that, and none of you have the Force.”

“Then what, pray tell, do you think we should do, Ren?” Dameron got up into his face.

“I have an idea,” Ben said slowly, “but you won’t like it.”

Poe leaned around the corner to check the progress of the enemy’s departure. “We don’t have much time. Let’s hear it.”

“Kylo Ren offers you three up as prisoners for sanctuary with them,” Ben said.

There was stunned silence.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Poe whispered. “How on earth does that help us in any way, shape, or form?”

“Because, I can get you all out later when there are less guards,” Ben said.

“Oh yes, because you wouldn’t leave us all to rot.” Poe’s voice dripped with disdain. He poked Ben in the chest with his blaster. “In fact, I wouldn’t put it past you that this entire week was part of some grand scheme to get you back to being Supreme Leader.”

Ben had just about enough of the man’s unwarranted hostility, and he never had an aptitude for patience in the first place. “Did you forget that I surrendered to you? I’m just thinking how your enemy would think, something you should have learned a long time ago. I know that it must be far past your mental capabilities, but don’t forget that five minutes ago you chose to trust me and handed me a blaster.”

Ben watched as the young general absorbed Ben’s words. He looked like he was about make a comeback but closed his mouth just as quickly. Poe dropped the blaster aimed at Ben and heaved a long sigh.

“Fine,” he snapped. “You know the worst thing about this day is how many times I’ve had to trust –”

Ben stiffened as Dameron cut himself off. While they were arguing – probably very loudly – a trooper rounded the corner and aimed a charged blaster at Dameron’s head.

“I hope I’m not interrupting something important,” the modulated voice snarked. Four more troopers flanked the first one.

“Drop your weapons,” the leader said.

One by one and all too reluctantly, they dropped their blasters to the floor. The troopers ushered them out onto the landing pad to fit them with their own cuffs; the previously captured Resistance leaders were already on board.

“This is definitely not how I expected today to go,” Ben muttered as he was shoved on board with the rest of them.

…

General Organa was silently fuming. They had come so far in this war by defeating the most dangerous army in the galaxy, only to turn around and be caught unaware by some riffraff left over from the fight. Mostly, though, she was angry with herself. She should have never let her guard down after the battle. The aftermath of a battle was often a precarious victory, especially if there was no surrender. She should have been more vigilant.

Leia caught her current train of thought and redirected it back to the situation at hand. This was no place for ‘what-ifs.’ She looked around at her fellow captured companions. To her right was Commander Garftran, glowering death rays at their captors. He was only here on Cloud City to speak with Poe about the new information gathered from her son and planned to help with additional attacks. She was actually surprised that he left Ajan Kloss, as he preferred the wild environment over the company of any kind of civilization.

To his right was Commander Algara. Algara sat stiffly as if she was ready to pounce, eyes ever analyzing the situation. She was a huge asset to the Resistance as she was keeper of their roster of personnel – literally knowing everyone’s name, rank, and assignment at any given time. She met Leia’s eyes and the fire behind them said that she was ready to jump at the command of her general.

On the bench across from them sat Elliver Olim. He was not one of their leaders but was captured simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Although, he might disagree. Olim was their holo-media operative whose self-proclaimed duty was to capture their progress on holographic record so that history would not forget the beings who fought against such overwhelming odds. The young man was elated that he had his holorecorder out when they were ambushed, but that excitement was quelled the moment they took the recorder from him and smashed it. Leia briefly worried that he might have an aneurism from the vein still throbbing angrily on his forehead.

Beside Olim sat the small figure of Maz Kanada. She was cleaning her goggles with the corner of her jacket. Even with her hands cuffed, she was calm and sure, completely unphased with her current circumstances.

A tug in Leia’s awareness made her turn to face the boarding ramp. A moment later, another group of red troopers stormed onboard with four more prisoners in tow. To her dismay, Poe Dameron was dragged to the bench across from her followed by Ben and his two assigned guards. Ben was seated to her left. Tem and Jannah were placed beside Poe.

“Don’t tell me you tried to rescue us,” Leia said to Poe as she felt the transport take off.

“Actually, we didn’t get that far,” Ben spoke up beside her. Leia didn’t miss the sharp gaze sent from Poe to her son.

“Maybe if you hadn’t suggested such a stupid idea we would have gotten further,” Poe sniped back.

“You didn’t have a plan,” Ben growled. “I offered the best option.”

Poe barked out a bitter laugh, and Leia sat dumbfounded at their exchange. The animosity was palpable between them, but there was also something else. From the look on Maz’s face, she saw it too.

“Were you two working together?” Leia asked them, amusement coloring her voice.

“NO!” the both hollered at once. Maz snorted and Leia raised an eyebrow.

“Hey!” a trooper stepped into Poe’s space and backhanded him. “Keep quiet, or I will shoot someone! That goes for all of you!”

They fell silent at the threat. Leia watched Ben turn his head and all but stuck his nose in the air. She bit back a grin. There was the attitude she missed. Being the son of Han and herself, Ben was not one to shrink back from stating what he thought about the universe. It shouldn’t have surprised her that his brashness emerged when dealing with Poe. Poe had a way of testing even the most patient of beings, and Ben had never been very patient. 

She was surprised, however, that they had put aside their differences at least long enough to _try_ to work together. She knew that Poe truly hated Kylo Ren, so for him to choose to even listen to her son was either a sign that they were desperate, or the young General was finally maturing. She hoped the latter was the case.

In hardly any time at all, they landed inside the hanger of the Xyston-class Star Destroyer and were escorted in single file out of the transport. It wasn’t lost on Leia that Ben elected to be the last to exit. She began to wonder what would happen if they realized that they had captured the former Supreme Leader alongside the Resistance. Would they want him back? It was hard to guess.

As the entourage made its way further into the ship, Leia began to mentally plan for what she would need to say as the leader of said company. She was busy preparing speeches and demands in her head when they were led into a large room and made to stand in a line.

A young commander signaled for two of the red troopers to bring Leia forward, separate from the group. Once she was separated, the troopers shoved each of the others to their knees. A blaster was held at the ready at the back of each head.

At the far end of the room a door slid open, and in walked a short woman flanked by two other officers. She calmly made her way to stand before them.

“Welcome aboard the _Derriphan_ ,” her voice echoed around the chambers. Her eyes took in each of them slowly, stopping at Ben.

“Well, well,” she said, “it seems we have a surprise guest.”

Her small form radiated power and confidence as she stepped in front of Leia’s son. She spoke slowly and with purpose. Her voice was a low purr, almost hypnotic as it pulled the listener in for the kill. Ben looked up at the woman, and Leia had to suppress a chill. He looked absolutely lethal – nothing like the boy she remembered. This was the gaze of Kylo Ren.

“Supreme Leader Kylo Ren,” the woman addressed him with a taunting lilt, “or should I say _former_ Supreme Leader?”

Ben tilted his head, “Captain Sabrond, is it? Pryde’s little protégé?”

“It’s Admiral now,” she stated. “With all of the key players off the board, it is now up to me to restore order to this galaxy. I will succeed where you all have failed.”

“Who says I failed?” Ben taunted back.

The woman chose to smile at that, but Leia thought that it looked more like a wild loth cat baring its teeth.

“Were you not their prisoner?” she sneered, gesturing to the row of captives. “You, like the Emperor, failed to lead us into glory. You could not even lead the First Order. Was it not one of the last commands of Allegiant General Pryde to have you shot on site? You failed in your duty, and now you will suffer like all others who have failed the Sith Eternal.”

“Did Pryde tell you that I betrayed the dark side?” Ben asked. “I didn’t.”

“Then how is it that you are now my prisoner?” she asked. She almost sounded bored, turning her interest to the others there in the room.

Leia felt the surge of power from Ben in the Force. The band between the cuffs holding his hands snapped apart and he stood in one fluid motion, bringing the attention of their captor back to him. The red troopers in the room all raised their blasters, and Ben turned to face the one that was behind him. Ben’s hand came up and the guard was lifted into the air. The trooper clawed at his neck, obviously choking. A moment later, the soldier went limp and fell to the floor in a heap.

“Have you forgotten that I could have escaped whenever I wished?” Ben asked as he assessed his work.

Poe snorted from his position on the floor and glared at Ben. “I knew you were lying,” he accused. Poe’s outburst caused his guard to rap him over the head with the butt of his blaster.

“Quiet,” the trooper reminded them.

Ben turned back to the young Admiral. “I betrayed the Emperor,” Ben said. “Your precious Allegiant General was too loyal to him, but the Emperor’s time had passed long ago. It’s someone else’s turn now.”

Ben stepped forward into the Admiral’s space and to her credit, she did not quell under his authority.

“You are a child of Exegol, are you not,” he moved to circle her, “raised in the cult of the Sith? You do not have the Force, yet you worship those who do. What are you but a servant to those like me? My plan worked perfectly. I took out every rival and now I will take out every enemy against the dark side. You should be grateful that I am here now. You have purpose again.”

Ben ended his speech with his face inches from Sebrond’s. Were it not for her sensitivity to the Force, Leia would have believed his performance, but she still felt him as a dazzling light.

“Perhaps,” the Admiral said. “But I’m still not sure I believe you.”

A small sound caught Leia’s attention. She followed it to the source. Olim was choking, desperately grasping at the invisible claws cutting off his air. Ben’s hand shot out in a swift motion and Olim collapsed. Poe, and Algara were shouting. Garftran glared his condemnation, and the rest watched silently.

General Organa looked to her son. She decided it was time to step into the conversation.

“Before you kill any more of us,” she cut off the others’ tirade, commanding the attention of the room, “perhaps you could explain why you captured us in the first place.”

Admiral Sebrond turned to her. “General Organa, my apologies. I had not meant to keep you in suspense. This,” she glanced back to Ben, “was a development I had not expected.”

Sebrond stepped away from Ben and stood before Leia. “Of course, you should know why you were brought here. You are the last entity of power on your side of this war, just as this ship and its crew are the last on our side. It would not benefit our image after such a defeat at your hand if we simply obliterated your forces. A statement must be made.”

“But you couldn’t have wiped us out, as you say, even if you wanted to,” Leia responded. “We know that your ship’s weapons are hardly operational.”

“A fact that should be a comfort to the rest of the galaxy for the moment,” Sebrond’s voice took on a deadly quality. Leia congratulated herself on hitting a nerve. “Were it not for the surrounding planets in the same system as Kijimi, we would still be unstoppable.”

“You were the one who destroyed Kijimi?” Poe demanded.

Admiral Sebrond ignored him and continued to speak to Leia. “We will be unstoppable again. As the leader of the last of the Resistance, you will surrender to us before the whole galaxy.”

At her words, a compartment in the wall behind her opened and a holorecorder drone activated to hover over the entire company. “These proceedings will be recorded and broadcasted throughout the galaxy at my command. You may either surrender, or I will order the execution of your fellow leaders one by one. The mode of your humiliation is up to you.”

The Admiral turned back slightly to Ben. “That is, if you approve, Lord Ren.”

Leia recognized it as her way of saying that she conceded to his power without giving up her own.

Ben nodded. “I’m impressed,” was his reply. However, his attention was abruptly drawn elsewhere. His gaze looked out, far past the room they were in, to somewhere none of them could see. Leia felt a spike of anxiety from him, but he didn’t let it show on his face. She wondered what he felt.

One of the officers beside Sebrond lifted a hand to his ear and listened to whatever what said on the other end. Leia watched in interest as the man paled. He leaned over and whispered in the Admiral’s ear.

Ben smiled slightly and he turned to the entrance of the room. “It seems you have a guest, Admiral.”

Leia felt it a moment before the doors slid open. Rey’s Force signature was pulsing from the other side. The general nearly groaned. She did not approve of these ‘rescue’ attempts. She hoped that she would have time to reprimand the girl later, but for now, all Leia could do was wait to see how things played out.

The doors opened and Rey advanced with nearly two dozen red troopers behind her. She strode in with purpose, stopping directly in front of the Admiral and Ben. The Skywalker lightsaber was still hooked to her belt and Leia wondered what trick she pulled to ensure that they didn’t take it from her.

“Rey, you shouldn’t have come,” Leia said.

“Rey?” the Admiral asked. “As in the young Jedi, Rey? My, this is a surprising day.”

Rey ignored her and the Resistance fighters all together. She appeared to have a silent conversation with Ben, and Leia very well knew that she probably really was.

“Leave us,” the Admiral ordered the troopers that followed Rey into the room. They filed out slowly, save for the ones already assigned as executioners for the Resistance leaders.

“It’s impressive that you have made it here,” Admiral Sebrond said to Rey. “Not many people have the ability to get through my crew without being shot. You must have great power.”

“She is the true power in this galaxy,” Ben said.

“What?” Poe interjected, clearly not following.

“Rey don’t do this,” Leia said, further adding to the confusion of her fellow comrades in arms.

The Admiral watched with intrigue as Rey pulled herself to her full height.

“I am the one who killed the Emperor,” Rey said. “I am his granddaughter, the one he foretold would come to take his place.”

Her words had a mix of response from the occupants in the chamber. The Sith troopers shifted uneasily. Some of those in the Resistance called out in denial, and some stared in shock. Ben took one step forward and sank to his knee in front of Rey, sealing his true loyalties.

“Is it true?” Poe asked aloud.

“It’s true,” Leia confirmed. She turned away from Poe’s stricken face.

The Admiral of the Sith Eternal stepped forward, captivated by this development. “I remember the first time I heard the prophecy,” she said. “We were taught to expect it and prepared for its fulfillment my entire life. I never expected to see it for myself. I wish I had been on Exegol to see the deed. But perhaps it’s better that I hadn’t, otherwise, I would not be here today.”

The Admiral paused and Rey took the opportunity to address Ben. “Rise, Lord Ren. You have done well.” Ben stood.

“What about you?” Rey asked the Admiral. “Will you pledge yourself to me and work to rule this galaxy how it was meant to be ruled?”

Admiral Sebrond looked torn between suspicion and reverence. She took a moment to herself to think through her choices.

“Will you prove your allegiance?” she asked the woman claiming to be the heir to the Sith legacy. “Will you execute these prisoners if they should choose not to surrender?”

In answer Rey unclipped the lightsaber at her side and ignited it. The Admiral beamed a feral smile.

“General Organa,” the Admiral turned back to her prisoner. “Will you surrender? Or will you watch your comrades die?”

Leia straightened, addressing her adversary with all the scorn she felt for her. “I would never surrender to the likes of your kind or the power of the dark side.”

Fully expecting the answer, the Admiral merely gestured to Rey to proceed at her leisure.

Rey stalked over to Poe first. She stood before him and the young Admiral followed to a closer position to watch the so-called heir work. The guards were ordered to let her approach.

Poe stared up from his kneeling position looking heartbroken.

“Rey, what are you doing?” his question appeared to fall on deaf ears.

Leia watched as Ben moved silently behind Admiral Sebrond.

The board was set.

Rey stepped towards Poe and leaned to place her left hand on his shoulder. Poe just stared up at her, utterly betrayed. Rey drew her saber back, preparing to drive it straight through his heart. Poe couldn’t watch so he closed his eyes.

He heard the hum of the blade as she shoved it forward. He cringed, but the pain never came. A strangled gasp came from elsewhere in the room and compelled him to open his eyes. He looked up to the smiling face of Rey.

Her hand that held the saber was an inch from his chest and was empty.

She turned to look behind her and he followed her gaze to the Admiral who stood at her back.

The blue blade of the lightsaber was protruding from the Admiral’s chest. Kylo Ren held its hilt as though he were the one who had the saber all along. 

Poe gaped as Ren pulled the saber from her chest and she dropped. Ren swung the saber in an arc just as Rey waved her arm behind her. When she swung her arm back around, the lightsaber was somehow in her hand again. Poe ducked on instinct as the blade curved above his head and into the guard behind him.

It seemed that the whole room of onlookers were just as in shock as Poe was. Only after the first guard fell did the rest of the troopers and commanders jump into action. They began firing on Rey, but she easily blocked the bolts. Some took the hint that they were no match for her and ran to the large door to escape, but they were too late. Kylo Ren stood between them and that exit while Rey moved to block the other door near the back. As they raised their blasters to fire at Ren, the lightsaber was once again, _magically_ , in his hand. He took them out with ease.

Poe’s jaw didn’t rise from the floor as he watched Rey and Ren fight off the rest of the guards. The blue blade of the saber spun gracefully on one side of the room only to appear in the chest of an enemy soldier on the other side. Poe could barely keep up with the exchange.

Rey and Ren moved like they were dancing and only they heard the music. Their movements mirrored and complimented each other until there was one officer left in between them. The young Resistance General watched as the officer made a desperate attempt to change the fight and aimed for Poe’s head to distract them. He didn’t notice Rey step up beside him until it was too late, and she stabbed him, causing the blaster to fire. There was no time to move from the path of the bolt so Poe squeezed his eyes shut, but again, nothing happened.

He slowly opened them to the humming blaster bolt frozen less than an arm width from his face, just as it did on Jakku. He turned his head to Ren’s outstretched hand holding back his premature death. Poe came to his senses and carefully moved out of the path of the bolt. Once out of the line of fire, Ren dropped his hand and the bolt ripped through the floor.

The last foe left in the room was the droid recording everything going on. Rey took the lightsaber and sliced through it, and the pieces crashed to the floor. Poe looked around to the others still kneeling and was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one flabbergasted.

“What just happened?” he demanded.

“I think they just saved our backsides,” Maz laughed.

“Yes,” Leia’s voice was less amused. She gave both of their saviors a withering look. Rey blushed under the gaze, and Ren rolled his eyes.

Rey then turned away to search the dead guards for a key as Ren made his way over to Olim, still sprawled on the floor.

“Don’t you touch him!” Commander Algara screamed as Ren reached for Olim’s head. Jannah and Tem grabbed onto the woman’s arm and held her back. Commander Garftran was quicker than Alrgara and swung his cuffed hands to knock Ren to the ground. Ren saw it coming and lifted a hand to the commander, freezing him in place with the Force. 

Poe thought about attacking the man himself, but instead, he took his cue from Leia who stood quietly and let Ren do what he intended.

Ren bent and placed a hand over Olim’s forehead. He closed his eyes, and Poe waited with bated breath for a few agonizing seconds until Olim twitched and blinked his eyes open. The young man immediately flinched away from Ren and his hand went up to his throat in fear.

“I’m sorry,” Ren said, stepping a safe distance away to his mother’s side. “I had to make it look real. Don’t worry, there won’t be any lasting damage.”

Olim stood with the help of Algara and she proceeded to try to catch him up on what he missed. Ren dropped Graftran from his Force hold while Rey finally found a key and began uncuffing everyone. When she came over to Poe, he stopped her.

“Did you two plan this?” he asked.

She smiled warmly and looked over to Ren. “Not really,” she admitted while unlocking the cuffs. “It sort of just happened. I was able to convince the troopers that attacked our side of the base to take me with them, but beyond that, we just made it up as we went.”

“But the lightsaber,” Jannah said, “how did you do that?”

“I told you,” Rey said. “We are one in the Force.”

That didn’t help clear up any confusion, but Poe would just have to think about it later. He let Rey help him to his feet.

“What now?” Tem asked in the silence that followed.

“Now we find a way off this thing,” General Organa said.

“I know the layout of the ship,” Ren offered. “It’s no different than other Star Destroyers. I should be able to guide you to a hanger before the rest of them realize that something is wrong.”

“What about the ship?” Commander Graftan demanded. “We can’t just let this ship go with the possibility of wreaking more havoc on the galaxy.”

“He’s right,” Rey said.

“This way,” Ren’s voice called. Poe turned and saw that he was already at the door leading to the captain’s quarters. He rushed to catch up to him, still nervous about letting the man out of his sight. He heard the others following behind him.

The corridor led to a small command room where only two technicians were working. Ren turned back to Rey and smirked.

“You take one, I’ll take the other?” he whispered.

Rey grinned and nodded as she reached out her hand. Poe watched them simultaneously close their fists and the Sith technicians collapsed in their chairs.

Ren and Rey quickly made their way to the computer and began messing with the controls. It was a little unsettling to see them still moving in tandem with each other.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked them.

Rey answered. “We are setting the systems to overload the engines. It should give us enough time to get out of here and we won’t have to worry about this ship anymore.”

“Don’t forget to lower the shields,” Maz said. “Otherwise, our escape will be short lived.”

“Done,” Ren stated.

And they were off.

“This is definitely not how I expected this day to go,” Poe grumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I just loved the idea that there was one ship left over from the Sith fleet. In TROS, Captain Sebrond literally has one line (Fire), but I loved the look of her and her voice. We never found out what happened to the ship that fired on Kijimi, so I found extra plot!!  
> \- The Sith Eternal is the actual name of the cult of worshipers on Exegol. The entire fleet of the Final Order was made up of the children who were raised on Exegol. Sebrond was one of those people.
> 
> As always thank you so much for kudos, comments and just reading this in general!!


	11. Aftershocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe has to learn how to deal with his new view of Ben. Special thanks to my beta for additional help on this one!!
> 
> Sorry it was a bit of a longer wait on this one guys! It's been a pretty busy week. Thanks again for sticking with me, for all your lovely reviews and kudos! They are always appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy!

"I can’t believe you just locked him up again, after all he did to help us!” Rey screamed as she stomped her way through the underbrush. 

Rey swiped at a vine that hung in front of her with the Force, and Poe had to duck as it came swinging back in front of him. 

At the base repair shop in the distance, a few Resistance members looked up at the sound of the shouting, but no one was there. Poe had already followed Rey into the densely secluded underbrush of Ajan Kloss. 

It had been Poe’s idea to head back to the base after the Star Destroyer’s attack. They made it off the ship with surprisingly little difficulty. It was easy to sneak around when you had two Force-users on your side. The group was able to steal a transport and made it off the vessel before it started to rip itself apart from the inside. With the last ship from the Final Order gone, they were safe for now, but Poe was nervous about the possibility of another attack on the facility in Cloud City. He also wanted no further damage to Calrissian’s home on their account, so he ordered the prisoner and all remaining Resistance personnel back to base.

When they arrived, he had no choice but to lock Ren up again. His trial was postponed due to “extenuating circumstances”, but that wasn’t good enough for Rey who demanded his pardon after what he did. Unfortunately, Poe knew that still wasn’t possible. Too many people in their ranks would riot if he walked free.

He tried to calmly explain to her that they would need to finish the trial, but she stomped away through the underbrush, forcing Poe to run after her.

“Rey!” Poe shouted as he jogged. “Hold up!”

She didn’t stop and he had to grab her arm to turn her to him. She spun and pinned him with the most terrifying glare he had seen on her and he automatically took a step back. Although he’d never hold it against her, Poe couldn’t help but remember how she said she was a Palpatine. He cursed himself for thinking it - he knew Rey wasn’t her grandfather; but Poe was still unsettled that yet another secret had been kept from him. He was tired of secrets. 

Poe held out his hands in a non-threatening manner Rey instantly softened, realizing how she must have looked to him.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

“It’s fine,” he assured her. He sighed. “I just want you to know that I am trying to do the right thing here. But right now, I’m really not sure what that is.”

She deflated a little more at his statement. “I know,” she said.

To Poe’s astonishment, her eyes filled with tears.

“I just…” she trailed off, so he waited for her to regain her composure. She swallowed loudly before she spoke again.

“When Ben saved me in on Exegol, he nearly gave his life in the process, and I have never been so scared of losing someone before.” Her tears fell as she blinked. “He is literally half of me. I don’t know what would happen to me if he died.”

Poe just stared at her, unsure of what to do with her confession. He hadn’t really thought through what the implications of their Force bond meant – what it would do to Rey if Ren was executed. He really needed time that he did not have to sort everything out.

“Look,” he reached for her hand, “the council has yet to decide anything. I have to admit, I’m not even sure where I stand on things with Kylo Ren. I know what he did to save us, but I also can’t forget what he did to the galaxy.”

He ran a hand through is hair. He was just so frustrated with this situation. “Why couldn’t he have just been like his mother or father? Why did he have to become like his grandfather? None of this would be happening.”

“That’s not true,” Rey said, her voice quiet. “Palpatine would have put his efforts into finding me. Ben… he felt he didn’t have a choice. You don’t know what he went through. You don’t know what made him turn.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Poe said stepping closer to her. “Tell me.”

Rey heaved a sigh and looked him in the eyes. Then she looked to her left. He followed her gaze to meet Leia’s a little distance away.

Rey turned back to him. “It’s not my story to tell,” she said.

She squeezed his hand and took her leave. Poe turned to his General and walked to meet her. When he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

“How’re you doing?” he asked her when they parted.

She smirked up at him. “Oh, I’ve been worse. How are you doing, Poe?”

Poe just let out a sigh. He didn’t have the words for how he was doing, but Leia always just knew.

“Come with me,” she said.

She led him to a further secluded area where there were a few storage containers and boxes. She sat on one and rested both hands on her cane. Poe sat on one facing her. He could feel her eyes on him, but he didn’t know where to begin. The past few weeks had yet to settle in his head as something that actually happened.

“It’s not easy, is it?” her voice cut through his thoughts.

“Which part?” he asked.

“All of it,” she stated as if it were obvious.

He looked up at her knowing eyes and felt comforted. “No, it isn’t,” he agreed.

He wondered if there was a way to sugar coat his questions about Ren. Unfortunately, he was never a delicate man, always preferring the direct approach to a situation. Every time he opened his mouth to ask, the words felt uncouth and he shut it again only to open it a few seconds later and shut it.

“Oh for goodness sake, Poe,” Leia said. “Just spit it out.”

Poe chuckled. She could always read him like a book. He took a big gulp of air and just let it all out.

“Why is your son the way he is? I mean,” he tried to backpedal, “why isn’t he more like you or Han? I don’t understand why he turned to the dark side. It’s not like he didn’t have a family who loved him. He should never have turned on you.”

Poe got up to pace out his frustration.

“I’m sorry, but he has done horrible things – to me, to you, to his father, the galaxy. And then over the past few days… it’s like it’s not even the same man. He surrendered. He saved Rey. He saved us.”

He stopped and spun to Leia, exasperation clear on his face.

“I don’t get it,” he said. “I don’t get him, and yet you trust me to judge him fairly.”

“See that wasn’t so hard,” Leia teased. “Sit down, Poe. You’re making me nervous.”

He plopped himself back down on the container and waited in silence. She took her time with her answer, and Poe didn’t want to push.

“To answer your question, Ben is very much so like myself and his father, in fact, so much so that it might have been to his detriment,” she said.

Poe shook his head. “No, he’s nothing like you,” he argued. “You are a kind, passionate woman, and the strongest leader I have ever known.”

“Thank you, Poe,” she smiled, “but Ben has those traits too.”

Poe opened his mouth to argue again, but she held up a hand, and he fell silent.

“He does,” she reiterated. “Ben was born to lead. Why do you think he made such a terrifying Supreme Leader? He has always been passionate about whatever conviction he had. His father and I have never been shy about sharing out opinions either.

“Ben was quiet as a boy, but he was always so kind, so sweet. He always ran to do anything anyone asked; so eager to please.

“He would come home with the most ridiculous bugs and critters, having a knack for finding the ones that were sick or injured. He would tend to them, care for them, and release them when they were well again. I remember once he brought home an infant squall with a broken leg. He took such good care of the poor thing, but it didn’t make it. Ben cried for hours and wouldn’t come out of his room for days. He was only six.

“That was the first time I felt him impact the Force. He felt that creature’s death so deeply that he released it into the Force and he shook all the windows and objects in the room. It scared me so much then. I feared my lineage and what powers I might have passed down my bloodline. Looking back on it now, I know that he must have sensed our fears.

“We were out of our depth, and Han and I were rarely home long enough to give him the attention he needed. I regret that we had to leave him so often with a nursing droid. Maybe if we were around more, he would have felt he could talk to us. But as he got older, I could feel the darkness in him getting stronger. He was still a blinding light, but his darkness emerged more and more often. So we sent him to Luke.”

Poe watched as Leia’s eyes filled with tears. He leaned forward and grabbed her hand.

“Until he showed up here at the base, that was the last time Han and I saw Ben,” she said, her voice shaky. “That was my fault. I was too caught up with responsibilities in the senate and I ended up cancelling every visit we had scheduled. I never pushed Han to visit either. He must have thought we abandoned him.”

Poe shook his head. “But you didn’t abandon him,” he said with conviction.

“Did he know that, I wonder,” Leia pondered. “How would you feel if you knew your parents were afraid of what you could do and dropped you off with an estranged relative you met only once and they never made an effort to see you after?”

Poe was stunned. When she put it that way…

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about everything,” Leia whispered.

They sat still for a moment while Poe continued to absorb her story.

“I didn’t even tell him that his grandfather was Darth Vader,” she said after a time.

Poe looked up from their hands that were still clasped. That was news to him.

“I was so ashamed when I was younger of who my real father was,” she continued, “I wanted to keep it a secret forever. I told myself that I would tell him when he was older, but I waited too long and Ben found out when the rest of the galaxy did. I can only imagine what kind of trust we lost from that.”

“Was that what pushed him to the dark side?” Poe asked when she stopped.

“It might have been part of it,” Leia conceded, “but it was still a few years before I felt the change in him and I knew he was lost to me.”

Leia bowed her head at the memory, and Poe once again thought that she was the strongest woman alive.

“What did make him choose the dark side?” Poe asked.

She sighed heavily and met his gaze. “I’m not sure of all the details. Luke refused to say anything other than it was his fault that Ben turned. It’s the whole reason why Luke went into exile. He blamed himself for Ben’s fall. I believe Rey knows the truth, but she only says that it is not her story to tell. It must have been something horrible, because I don’t believe Ben would have ever gone to Snoke unless he felt he had no other option.”

Leia fell silent again and Poe couldn’t think of anything to say in reply. The implications of what Leia had just told him would mean that he would have to rewrite his views on Ren and probably a lot of other things. He didn’t know if he was ready for that.

“Poe,” she drew his attention again, “I know that this is coming from his mother, but I have to say this. It’s true that we are a culmination of our past and our choices, but sometimes, we can fall victim to the history and choices of others. And that is not our fault. It shouldn’t be punished. It can only be forgiven."

“I can’t to tell you what to do here, even though I want to,” she continued. “So, I trust you, and I know that you will figure out how to see the difference between Kylo Ren and Ben Solo.”

She patted his hand and stood, leaving him feeling more of the weight of his responsibility then before their conversation. She was long gone before he realized that it was getting dark.

He needed a drink.

…

Finn was finally done with the day’s inventory after relocating everyone on Cloud City back to Ajan Kloss. He was supervising the weapons transfer, and he was so tired of counting, that he never wanted to count anything ever again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Poe trudging from the outskirts of the base with a sour look that was strange to see on his usually cheerful face. He quietly sidled up next to him, matching his pace, but Poe didn’t turn his head. Finn elbowed his arm.

“Ack! Finn!” Poe cried when he saw it was his friend. “Don’t do that!”

Poe leaned over his knees to catch his breath and Finn couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“What’s got you so lost in your head?” he asked after composing himself.

Poe straightened and gave Finn a withering glare. He resumed whatever mission he was on, forcing Finn to catch up to him.

“If you must know,” Poe said while stalking ahead, “I don’t know what to do about Ren.”

Finn’s mood was instantly sobered. It was definitely a sensitive subject.

“Yea that’s a tough one,” he said as they reached one of the mess halls.

He watched from the entrance as Poe went directly to the stash of drinks, grabbed a bottle, and charged back outside without paying attention to what it was. He was both amused and slightly concerned that his friend decided that alcohol was necessary. He had seen Poe drunk many times, but only in celebration.

“You sure you don’t want a glass or something?” Finn asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you judging me, Finn?” Poe asked with a glimmer of humor.

“Nope,” Finn grinned back.

“Sure,” Poe drew out the word, not believing him for a second.

They made their way to a secluded area under the trees and Poe opened the bottle and took a swig. He coughed and sputtered at the strength of it. He looked down to the label and they both realized it was a language that neither of them could read. In light of the new information, Poe took a smaller swig and passed the bottle to Finn. Finn took a small sip and grimaced.

“This stuff will make me puke,” he said handing it back to Poe. “Careful with that.”

“Don’t worry,” Poe smiled, his cheeks already filling with color, “I’ll cut myself off early.”

Finn rolled his eyes and made the decision to stay with Poe until it was time to take the bottle away from him. They sat for a long while in companionable silence; Poe periodically sipping from the bottle.

“You know, Leia trusts me to make a fair sentence for her son,” Poe said. “I don’t know what that means anymore. When he first surrendered to us, I could have been the executioner myself. But now, after he saved us and with everything that Leia told me about him, I’m not sure we assessed him fairly.”

Finn was shocked to say the least. He never expected Poe to change his convictions on the punishment of Kylo Ren.

“What would you do?” Poe’s question jolted him out of his surprise. “If you were in my place, what would you suggest for the jury to vote on?”

Finn leaned back against the tree closest to him and thought about the question. In light of what he knew of the story of their escape from the Star Destroyer, Ren – or rather Ben – was the reason for their victory. Once again, it was a glaring contrast to the man they all knew to be Kylo Ren.

“I’m not sure,” Finn admitted quietly. “Knowing what he did the past few days doesn’t add up to someone with an evil heart. Do you reward him for saving the galaxy and the Resistance – twice – or do you let him rot for his past that he obviously regrets? Is there a middle ground?”

“Exactly,” Poe slurred. “It’s like I’m going around in circles with this.”

Finn smiled at seeing how quickly Poe was getting inebriated on the foreign booze. “I’m sure there is, but that doesn’t mean I know _what_ it is. It’s like he’s two different people.”

“That doesn’t help me at all,” Poe gestured wildly. “How can I make a fair assessment if I don’t even know who he is supposed to be now?”

Finn leaned forward and gently pried the half empty bottle from Poe’s hand.

“Hey,” he protested, trying to grab it back and nearly lost his balance. “Woah.”

Finn settled a firm hand on his shoulder to steady him. “I think there’s only one person who can answer that question.”

It looked like a lightbulb went off behind Poe’s eyes. “You’re right!” he shouted.

Finn shook his head at him. “And you can talk to him later, after you’ve slept this off.”

“Yes, mother,” Poe said, giving him a goofy grin.

Finn helped Poe stand and planned to keep an arm around him on the way back to his quarters, but Poe swatted at him.

“I got it,” he said. He trudged away from Finn with a slight sway.

Finn smiled and then sighed. He did not envy Poe’s position at all.

…

Ben was exhausted. He knew he should sleep, but he was still afraid to. There was no telling how he would wake up and make things worse for himself. So, again, he opted for meditation, even though he knew he couldn’t keep doing that forever.

He was back in a cell, and he really couldn’t blame them for it. It was smaller than the room he was in before, and the fresher was now a stall, but he still had a bed. The only real difference was that the fourth wall of the cell was entirely composed of a force field, taking away much of the privacy that he had an illusion of before.

Ben sat on the floor and crossed his legs. He took a long breath in and let it out slowly to try to relax and turn off his higher functions.

He felt his muscles just start to lose the tension he was carrying when he felt another presence close to him that was not one of his guards. It took a moment for him to place the signature – Poe Dameron. Ben didn’t let himself show any indication that he knew Dameron was there. He felt the general pacing for a bit and then surprised Ben by sitting down on the floor on the opposite side of the force field to face him. Ben still didn’t move, wondering if the man would eventually go away on his own.

“Don’t you ever sleep?” Poe’s loud voice asked.

Ben remained still. He was in no mood to deal with this at the moment.

“… Because the guards watching you through the holocams said you never sleep. You just meditate, or whatever,” Poe continued. “Does it have the same effect as sleeping? Or is that something that only a Jedi… or Sith… or whatever you are… can do?”

There was a long silence.

“Must be useful…” Poe muttered.

Ben felt the muscle around his eye twitch.

“Saw that,” Poe said.

Ben ground his teeth.

“I know you can hear me.”

Ben opened his eyes and directly met Poe’s. He sat against the far wall of the facility, his arms resting on his bent knees.

“What are you doing here?” Ben asked, not quite keeping the bite from his tone.

Poe shrugged coolly. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Ben narrowed his eyes at the visitor. Dameron looked way too relaxed. His speech was slightly slower and slurred from his normal patterns. When he reached out with the Force, he could fell that his thoughts were also relaxed.

“Are you drunk?” Ben accused.

Dameron huffed. “What’s it to you?”

Ben had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. “Look, I’m not in the mood for company, so unless you need something, I’d like to be left alone.”

Ben closed his eyes again and tried his hardest to ignore his audience.

“Why did you save me?” Dameron’s voice cut through his concentration.

Ben’s growl was almost inaudible. He opened his eyes again and was surprised to see Dameron’s honest expression. He felt a straightforward curiosity from him in the Force.

Ben tilted his head. “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” he threw back at him.

Poe barked out a laugh, and Ben automatically shrunk into himself, his mental defenses reinforcing. 

“You surprise me, Ren,” Dameron said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Seriously, I have never been more surprised by someone other than you over the past few days.”

Ben remained silent.

“It’s confusing and downright infuriating,” he continued. “I have no idea what we’re supposed to do with you.”

Poe paused like he expected Ben to jump into the conversation, but what was he supposed to say?

“What do you want from me?” Ben asked him.

Dameron shook his head. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I’m not very good at this -”

“Clearly,” Ben deadpanned.

“- but I’m trying,” Poe continued over his interjection. The young general narrowed his eyes and stared at Ben like he was trying to see through him. “I’m trying to understand.”

Ben’s eyes widened slightly at the statement, but Poe didn’t notice. He charged ahead in his thoughts.

“You're a monster,” he said. “You’ve killed, maimed, and tortured. You tore my mind apart to get what you needed. But then, you helped one of my closest friends save the galaxy. You saved her life, and then you saved the Resistance leaders. And you saved me… and I don’t know how to reconcile that.”

His next question stumped Ben. “Who are you, really?”

Dameron stared at Ben, waiting for a response. The question was simple enough, but Ben was at a loss. Who was he? He was Ben. He was Kylo Ren. True, Kylo Ren was his past, but his decisions and his actions would be with him the rest of his life. And who was Ben now, in light of that?

Poe was still waiting for an answer.

“I’m… not sure what you want to hear,” Ben finally replied.

Dameron snarled in frustration. “I just want the truth.”

Ben just stared. He wondered if he tried to ignore him again if he would leave and succeed in avoiding the rest of this conversation. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Poe puffed out a breath and thunked his head against the wall behind him.

“Look, I’m pretty smashed right now,” Poe spoke again, “so chances are whatever you say, I won’t remember in the morning.”

Ben ran a hand over his face and stood. “You should get some rest, Dameron.”

Poe also moved to stand, but it took a bit more effort and was less graceful. “Why can’t anyone just give a straight answer?” he waved his arm. “I’m trying to give you a chance, Ren!”

Ben snapped and spun to the general, pinning him with his eyes.

“What would it matter,” Ben said, his voice sharp and bitter, “Ben Solo, Kylo Ren… You’ve all made your opinions about me. I’m the son of legends, the grandson of a monster. They all held me to their expectations, and I could never meet any of them. I’m neither of them. I’m no one.”

Ben let out a harsh laugh. “I couldn’t be the Jedi. I couldn’t even be the monster Snoke wanted, and yet that’s what the galaxy will forever see Kylo Ren as – a monster – just like Darth Vader. Besides the few beings my mother chose to tell, no one will ever know that Ben Solo still exists.”

Ben turned and faced the wall, dismissing him the only way he could, but Poe didn’t leave, even after minutes of harsh silence.

The stillness was palpable, and Ben could sense the churning thoughts of the man behind him when the feel of them suddenly altered. It was like something clicked in Dameron’s head, and the atmosphere changed around them. It was a new resolve.

Curious, Ben turned to see him. Poe gaped back at him, and Ben could practically see the phasers firing behind his eyes. His brows were pinched but a smile tugged at his lips.

He shook a finger at Ben. “Ben Solo…” he drifted off. “That could work.”

Poe Dameron spun and left the bewildered prisoner where he stood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a surprise. When I started this story, I didn't expect to write with Poe's POV as much as I have, but I have grown to love the character! I just hope that I have been able to do him justice throughout his journey too!
> 
> What schemes has Poe come up with in his addled brain, you ask?? We shall see... we shall see...


	12. Ruling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's wait is over. 
> 
> Hello my lovely readers! I'm so sorry that this one is a bit late. With everything going on in the world, you'd think I'd have more time to finish things when the exact opposite is true. Ah, well. Better late than never. Stay safe out there!

Two days.

It had been two days since he had seen another living being. Ben could feel them, of course, all around the facility that he was being held in, but he only saw Threepio when he brought his food. He didn’t even see Rey through their bond. He thought about trying to reach out to her, but he was afraid that he would be a distraction if she was doing something important.

He still felt her, though. He felt her presence in the back of his mind and he took a shameful amount of comfort from the sensation. She was so warm in the Force. He basked in it, like a man who was caught too long in the snow warms himself by a fire.

He wondered what he felt like to Rey or his mother now. He hadn’t thought about it since he made the decision to turn from the darkness, but he felt… balanced. The conflict that would nearly render him immobile was quiet. The darkness was still there, but settled. It was a peace that he wasn’t used to but was beyond grateful for. Rey showed him that peace. He would be indebted to her for the rest of his life, no matter how long that life would be.

The thought of leaving her, of dying, brought a new, crushing sadness to his mind. The emotion surprised him. He didn’t want to die. After the last battle where they fought together as one, it brought such a sense of completeness and belonging, and now that he found that with Rey, he never wanted to lose it. But he knew that he had no control here. He had to continuously remind himself of his determination to let her go, so that it would be easier for her when he was gone. He wished he had the strength to follow through.

This waiting was exhausting to the mind as well as the body. He thought more than once to call one of the guards to ask for an audience with the Resistance leaders. Surely, they had decided on something by now. However, he never bothered them. Instead he paced until his feet were tired. When he tried to meditate, he felt himself drifting off and so he determined that he probably put off real sleep long enough. He climbed onto the covers of the small plank of a bed and was out in seconds, the sun’s low rays shining through the cell window.

He felt like he had only drifted off for moments when the sound of the force field that doubled as a wall was silenced. Ben was immediately alert once he processed that it had dropped.

He sat up and turned to face the newcomers, heart thudding heavily in his chest. Poe Dameron stood before him with Jannah, Tem, and Finn. He stood and waited for them to say something, but Poe simply pulled out cuffs and gestured that he put them on. Ben opened his mouth to ask what was happening, but both Dameron and Finn brought their forefingers to their lips for him to remain silent. They had their blasters out, oddly not raised, but he figured he better comply.

Ben held out his hands and Dameron cuffed them. He was silently led out of his cell and down a hallway leading further from the entrance they initially brought him through. Ben reached out with the Force to try to assess what was happening, but all he got from them was calm determination. Finn turned, sensing his probing, and brought a finger up to his lips again.

They led Ben outside, further away from the cell, and Ben’s anxiety started to spike. It was the dead of night with no moon in the sky. The only light came from the opposite direction they were walking where very few people were up, standing on guard. No one seemed to notice the small group traversing through the dark. Something in his mind told him that this was the end, that they decided to get rid of him quietly. The other part reminded himself that these people were not Snoke or his operatives. They would at least allow him to say goodbye to Rey, to his mother.

The group of them stopped before a cave entrance and led him in. The damp smell of earth filled his nostrils and his feet sloshed through mud on the cave floor. Dameron finally lit his torch when they were all inside the entrance.

“This way,” he whispered. “Stay quiet.”

As they pushed further into the cave, Finn stopped at a fuse box and switched on a series of lights strung crudely up on the side of the rock corridor, casting a hazy glow on the beings around him. Ben was at a loss as to where they were leading him as the tunnel shrunk in size, forcing him to hunch over. The ingrained pattern of thinking inside his head told him that they just didn’t want to take the time to bury him after. _Stop it,_ he chastised himself.

The tunnel led to a cavernous room a short distance ahead. The lighting continued into the room and stopped over a sort of bench naturally carved out of the stone wall. Finn gestured for him to move into the space, and Ben slowly obeyed, desperately trying to hide his fear of what was happening. When he stepped to the middle of the cavern and turned, Dameron spun and left them without a word.

“What’s going on?” Ben whispered, the feeling of vulnerability finally pushing him to ask.

Finn shrugged. “Prisoner transfer.”

Ben’s face morphed into confusion. That was it? His expression must have revealed his bafflement because Finn’s face softened slightly.

“For now, you will be kept here,” Finn said. “Your guards will remain outside.”

“Why here?” Ben asked, his apprehension getting the better of him. He stepped forward and Jannah and Tem raised their blasters. He stopped immediately.

“Because,” Finn replied as if that were the only answer worth giving. He turned to leave them and thought better of it, facing Ben one last time. “Look, you surpassed all of our expectations of behavior since you arrived. Don’t do anything stupid. They still have permission to shoot you.”

With that, Finn took his exit and the two ex-storm troopers took up positions in the tunnel just outside. There was no force field or chains to keep him there besides the cuffs on his wrists. It would be so easy to walk out into freedom. But Ben turned on his heel and sat on the stone slab, placing his head in his hands to hide their shaking as he came down from the rush of adrenaline.

He sat there for hours. His hands changed positions from hanging clasped between his knees and raking through his hair, but he made no attempt to move otherwise. He felt for Rey’s presence again and concentrated on his breathing, falling into a light trance, when movement outside the cavern dragged him out of it again.

Dameron was back. He said nothing as he gestured for Ben to follow him. Ben stood and exited the room, his two guards flanking behind him. They made their way through different branches of the tunneling system of the caves. Though the lighting was still activated in the corridors, Ben could tell that natural light was coming from adjacent openings. His feet paused as he felt a strange yearning to see the sun again. A hand rested on his elbow, calm yet firm. Tem guided him forward again.

They entered another cavern, this one larger than the last. Equipment and containment units littered the outer walls and adjoining paths that led from it. The ceiling of the room was partially open to the elements of the jungle above with roots and vines blocking most of the sky beyond. Two tables were shoved together, taking up half the cavern. Each of the seven chairs behind them were occupied with the Resistance leaders who took part in his tribunal.

So this was it. Ben’s lips pressed together as he sucked in a breath through his nose to settle his emotions. He pulled in the light around him from the Force. He knew what this meant. Today would decide his fate. It was both horrifying and soothing to come to the understanding that he would wait no longer.

His eyes found Rey at her place at the table. She stared at her hands clasped in front of her. He reached for her through the bond, but she was closed off to him. He couldn’t fathom what she was thinking, and it hurt him in a way, even if he knew he it shouldn’t.

General Dameron cleared his throat, drawing Ben’s gaze to him.

“Kylo Ren,” he began, “I apologize for such a delay in completing your tribunal. There were tasks that needed to be completed before we gathered again.”

Dameron sifted through pieces of information on the holopad in his hands. He placed it on the center of the table in front of him.

“That being said,” he continued, “we have finally had the chance to deliberate on your sentence after your confession. A decision has been made in regards to a verdict and it has been voted on, with all members of this council in agreement.”

Ben gazed at the members around the table. They all met his eyes, expressions bare, except for Rey whose eyes were still lowered. Ben swallowed.

Poe Dameron let out a heavy sigh. “So without any further delay, Kylo Ren,” his voice took on the role of judge, “former Supreme Leader of the First Order, for the charges set against you as follows: the taking of hostages, the torture of prisoners of war, the murder of unarmed prisoners, the killing of civilians in violation of the principles of distinction under the Galactic Republic Law, and association with the First Order’s act of genocide against the Hosnian Prime system; this council finds you guilty as charged.”

“The punishment, unanimously voted on by this council, is execution.”

…

_Elliver Olim followed General Poe Dameron and four other Resistance fighters through the underbrush of Ajan Kloss. He brought up his holorecorder and flicked the on switch. It was his back-up camera. He missed his old one after the battle against the last Sith Star Destroyer. But this one was almost just as good – it would work for this assignment anyways._

_The Tribunal of Kylo Ren was in session all day yesterday and the council finally came to a decision. Kylo Ren was to be put to death for his crimes against the galaxy. Olim was charged with recording the footage that would prove that._

_It seemed like General Dameron was especially nervous about the whole situation. He constantly looked over his shoulder at the holorecorder as they made their way across the base to the prisoner’s cell._

_Olim readjusted the lens of the recorder as the first light of the sun sparkled through the trees of the forest. General Dameron pulled up to a stop outside the tiny cell block where Kylo Ren was being held. He turned to address Olim and the camera that he held._

_“I’m going to ask you to wait in the hallway,” the young general said. “I know that this is recording is to offer proof of the death of Kylo Ren, but I would also like the galaxy to know that while this execution is made in the name of justice, we are not barbarians. While the man executed is considered a monster, let’s honor the man he may have been once by not making more of a spectacle than necessary of his death.”_

_Olim met the eyes of his leader and decided he would respect that wish as his admiration for the general increased tenfold. He nodded in agreement and followed the party into the facility. The four sentries who took turns constantly guarding the prisoner lined up in the hallway ahead of him. Dameron turned to Olim and held up his hand for Olim to stop and record from there._

_From his position at the end of the hall, Olim could just see the force field of the wall that enclosed Ren's cell, but not inside it. The last moments of the prisoner inside would, indeed, be private. Dameron passed in front of the guards to the other side of the hall where a panel was. He nodded and the four guards brought up their blasters, aiming at the prisoner just out of sight. Dameron typed in a code and the force field fell._

_“Kylo Ren,” he said, “by order of the Resistance, in the name of justice and peace throughout this galaxy, you have been found guilty of the highest war crimes against life and community. As such you have been sentenced to execution by blaster. Any last words?”_

_Olim waited with baited breath to hear the words of the former Supreme Leader, but they were all met with deafening silence._

_Dameron sighed heavily. “Very well…” He gestured to the firing squad._

_“Ready,” the general spoke._

_“Aim.”_

_Each blaster found its point of interest._

_“Fire.”_

_The sound after the concussion was lifeless._

_The four blasters were lowered and Poe Dameron made his way across the hall again to Olim. His expression was stoic. His arm came up and made a slicing motion at his neck for Olim to end the recording. After a brief moment of hesitation, Olim pressed the switch and lowered the holo-recorder. He had to fight the urge to peek around the corner of the cell to see the dead body._

_Dameron stood in front of him, blocking his searching view, as if he knew what he was thinking. “I need to you to make sure that recording gets to Corellia as soon as possible. Clean it up, do whatever you need to. Just make sure they know that Kylo Ren is dead.”_

_Olim took one last glance at the entrance to the cell before he saluted and took his leave._

_…_

Ben stared uncomprehendingly at the space where the holorecording flickered out of existence.

Seconds passed, but he didn’t move until Dameron’s voice cut through Ben’s awareness.

“Kylo Ren was executed this morning at dawn,” he said. “hours after your transfer from his cell.”

The statement finally jolted Ben out of his stupor and he looked up at the Resistance leader.

“This holorecording was sent out immediately after the execution to the Core systems,” he continued slowly. “It’s the number one trending topic in the entire galaxy on the HoloNet, actually.”

The information finally clicked inside Ben. His eyes widened and the breath in his lungs punched out of him. He worked his jaw to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

“We know that, ultimately, it was you who committed the crimes under the name of Kylo Ren,” he said, “but alongside your actions to save the leaders of your enemy from certain death, you also acted to save the galaxy by having a part in defeating the late Admiral Sebrond, Emperor Palpatine, and Supreme Leader Snoke – and that should be taken into account for your sentencing.”

Ben felt like the floor beneath him was spinning and he ground his feet into the mud in an effort to stabilize himself.

“Ben,” Poe called him and it shook him a little further. “Seeing you these past weeks and learning about your past… I spoke to Rey, and Leia, and all I can say is that I’m sorry that no one saw the truth sooner… That you were as much a victim as the rest of us. This is why this council decided to hold Kylo Ren accountable for his crimes in partition from Ben Solo.”

The words plinked into Ben’s mind like marbles in a metal bowl.

“You were right,” Poe said and Ben realized that he was looking through a curtain of water over his eyes and desperately tried to blink it away. “No one besides the people in this room and your mother will know that Ben Solo survived Kylo Ren.”

Ben was still blinking rapidly as he looked around the cavern. Each face, even if there was not kindness there, held a level of understanding that he never experienced before. He turned to Rey and his breath caught in his throat at the blinding smile she gave him. His breath shuddered as Poe pulled his attention once again.

“Unfortunately, we can’t just let you roam free throughout the galaxy,” Poe’s words grounded Ben again, bringing him out of the void of shock. He nodded. He would do anything, be locked up anywhere, if he could just see Rey and maybe his mother now and again.

Poe took a deep breath and read from the holopad in front of him. “For the sentencing of Ben Solo, I, General Poe Dameron, put forth a vote for the following sentence for the prisoner – He will be exiled to the planet Bespin under the jurisdiction of General Calrissian for one year. After one year probation, he will be confined to the outer and Mid Rim systems for the rest of his days. He will be fitted with a nanochip to ensure that his location is tracked at all times. If he steps foot on a Core system or Colony, he will be hunted down and shot.”

Ben was staring again, jaw lax. Seconds, maybe even minutes, passed. Ben couldn’t tell.

“As I call out your name,” General Dameron continued, “please say “yes” in favor of the exile of Ben Solo. Say “no” if you are not in favor.”

“Captain Connix?”

“Yes,” was the reply.

“Commander D’Acy?”

“Yes.”

“Colonel Ackbar?”

“Yes.”

“My vote,” Dameron said, “is ‘yes.’ General Finn?”

Finn took his time looking over Ben. “Yes,” he smiled.

“General Calrissian?” Poe continued down the table.

“Yes,” came the answer.

Poe called out the last name. “Master Rey?”

“Yes,” she said.

“As magistrate of this tribunal,” Dameron said, “I hereby, sentence you, Ben Solo, to exile in the terms stated before, effective immediately. A transport has been prepared for you. You will be escorted to Bespin within the hour.”

Ben’s eyes traced Poe’s movements as he stood and made his way around the table and stood in front of him. He grabbed Ben’s wrists and began unlocking the cuffs.

Ben finally found a piece of his voice. “Why? How?” he rasped out.

“I want you to understand something,” Poe said, “while you have proven yourself to be changed with your actions, this was not all done for your sake. The effect that your life has on your mother… and Rey… was taken into account. I trust that you will honor that.”

Ben nodded. Of course, he would honor that. He could never, ever, take anything for granted. He rubbed his wrists as Poe continued.

“As for how,” he said, “history is written by the winners, and we won here. Ben Solo will go down in history as a spy for the Resistance who made some terrible mistakes while he was in the ranks of the First Order – mistakes that he had to pay for, but not die for.”

Poe got in Ben’s face. “Don’t kriff this up,” his counsel was given in humor, but Ben felt his true warning beneath it. He nodded.

“Ben?” Rey’s voice sounded just out of reach. His eyes slowly met hers and he saw the tears in her eyes as he felt his fall.

She pulled him down in an embrace. “I told you it would be okay,” she whispered.

He held onto her tightly and chose to believe her. For the first time in his life, Ben Solo looked at his future and decided that it wasn’t so bleak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry this is not the end. I have a quite a few more things to cover! 
> 
> I truly believe that this is the only way to fairly address the crimes committed by Kylo Ren without killing Ben Solo. Governments have done things like this before (just look at the German scientists from WWII) so it's not unheard of. 
> 
> I also would like to mention, that since the novelization of the book came out this week, there are some things in this fic that go against canon in ways I was not aware of. But I guess that's what a novelization does lol. TBH, I still like mine better.


	13. First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been one year since Ben Solo sentencing.

The best decision that Leia had ever made was to stay close to Ben during his parole on Bespin. Lando took him to a small sector close to the Tibanna mining colony in Cloud City. He had set up a facility there where a number of different foods and supplies were gathered and distributed throughout the galaxy for those in need of assistance after the decimation of the war with the First Order. Ben was assigned to work in the shipping yard unloading and loading ships. Eventually, he moved into fixing and upgrading the ships – he was his father’s son after all.

Lando requisitioned a place for Ben within walking distance of the facility. He was given a basic allowance for food and necessities, but since he was still technically considered a prisoner under planetary arrest, anything he would have made beyond the allowance was handed over to the relief funds that he was working for. Leia was extremely proud when she found out that Ben purposely worked overtime to make sure that more credits found their way into the relief shipments.

General Organa took up a temporary residence in Cloud City. She let the younger leaders continue the missions for ending the residual pieces of the Empire, First Order, and any other Sith influence they could find throughout the galaxy, while she made the decision to put all of that aside and make motherhood first in her life. True, she couldn’t completely put her leadership role aside in the galaxy, but she put her foot down on how much she would be involved. The new government that would form would have to go on without her eventually, so she made sure that the younger generation was at the forefront of its reformation. She would be there for guidance and assistance, but usually only through holocalls.

With much of her busy, busy schedule freed up, Leia was able to make the effort to go to Ben’s place often. At first, the visits were tense and awkward, as neither could think of how to converse on ‘safe’ topics with each other, but Ben never told her to leave. Lando suggested she take his games of Sabacc or holo-chess with her. The games made the visits quiet, but the tension lessened over time, and Ben relaxed a bit more when she was around.

The first time she was required to make an appearance in the new Senate, she realized that she was nervous to tell Ben that she would be gone for at least a week. Her nerves got the better of her that night and she found herself cheating at the card game they were playing, and of course, Ben noticed. She could lie through her teeth in politics, but lying in a card game was never her strong point, especially when it came to Han or Ben. And oh, did that lead to an argument and a half. It ended badly with Leia announcing that he wouldn’t have to deal with her cheating when she left for the Senate next week.

It was the first time since his return that Leia felt true dejection from him. She watched helplessly as he sunk into himself, a neutral mask settled onto his features. But again, he didn’t tell her to leave. They finished the game in silence and he won, even after she cheated. She remembered not wanting to leave that evening, but she did, promising him to be back the week after next.

“ _Sure,_ ” was his reply. And she knew that he didn’t believe her. Why should he after a lifetime of broken promises?

But that would change. She decided that no matter what, she would keep the promise and be back after one week to see him again. It took a firm stance on her part, but she did it. She turned down all of their pleading requests to stay and help, and she was back in Cloud City at the end of the week.

The look on Ben’s face when he opened the door for her confirmed that she made the right decision. That, and the evening afterwards. He actually made the effort to start the conversation, asking her about what was going on and what she did while away. Her kept promise was the unexpected ice breaker she had been waiting for between them. After that night, the conversations were slow, and finding topics were difficult, but soon they were able to find solid ground between them.

She learned so much about him; the man her son grew into. He was so very quiet and reserved, so very unlike the buoyant child that never sat still. He was still the smartest boy-turned-man she ever met, and it showed often throughout their conversations. He had also grown into some of his father’s quirks and reactions, especially when she beat him fair and square, which amused her to no end. He was also uncharacteristically gentle for someone of his height and build, always making sure she was steady on her feet before she left for the evening.

He learned to trust her after the third time or so when she said she would be back from whatever event needed her face to be present in the galaxy. Soon she was brave enough to ask him to come to her place some evenings, no longer scared that he would turn her down. She also made sure Rey came on occasion when she was not away on a mission.

Ben only truly smiled when Rey was there, but she was grateful that the girl could bring some kind of joy to her son and that she was alive to see it. She knew that he was utterly and completely in love with Rey by now, but he let her go each time and do what was needed of her in the galaxy without making a fuss. They were somehow always closer each time she saw them together, and Leia had to remind herself that they could see each other, even when they were lightyears apart.

The only one she could never seem to convince to come was Chewie. The Wookie always seemed to have some excuse or prior engagement. Leia knew that something, if not more than one thing, happened between him and Ben, but she had no idea what. What she did know was that Chewie was there when Han died, and the Wookie didn’t want to forget that blight. 

Wookies were a very passionate species. Chewie loved Ben. She knew he did; he was the one to look after Ben when Leia and Han weren’t around. She just didn’t know how to mend the rift between them. Ben certainly wasn’t going to make the effort. She asked him to talk to Chewie once and Ben just said that he can’t. He went too far. When she asked what he meant by that, he wouldn’t tell her. She only hoped that they could at least work together on the mission when Ben was released from parole.

Extra movement in the kitchen broke Leia from her train of thought. Today was Ben’s last official day under planetary confinement. He promised to come to dinner tonight, and she ordered a premade meal for them (she still never cooked) and heard the droid in the other room getting it ready. Leia stood from her seat by the window she had been staring out of for the past few hours. Her knees were stiff, and it took her longer than usual to get up and get moving, but she felt better than she had in years. She knew that her patched up relationship with Ben was the reason for that. She had something more to hold onto in her life. 

She passed by the mantle in the room with her saber, Luke’s saber, and Han’s medal resting on top. So much had changed in the past year – so much good and bad. She missed her husband and brother every day, and thought about them often. Before the battle of Exegol, she yearned to join them and finally find the peace that she had been searching for years. But when Ben returned to her, when she forgave him, and when he learned to trust her again, she found that _this_ was the peace she wanted all along. Now, she wanted to live as long as she could. She wanted to see grandchildren. The thought of little feet running around her again made her smile.

A buzz from the door alerted her of Ben’s arrival. She heard Threepio shuffle his way over to the door and greet him loudly. She turned just as the two entered the room and Threepio announced his presence.

“General,” the droid addressed her, “I would like to inform you of your son’s arrival.”

Ben stepped around the droid and glared at him. Leia had gotten used to the droid’s quirks over the years, but Ben was always at odds with him.

“That will be all Threepio,” she said, getting rid of him for her son’s sake. “Thank you.”

“Of course, General,” the droid bowed slightly as he shuffled out of the room. Ben rolled his eyes at the antics.

“I don’t know why you put up with him,” Ben mumbled at her. “He is the most annoying droid in existence. You could literally have any other normal protocol droid.”

“Maybe,” she conceded, “but no one in our family ever does normal.”

She made her way over to him and pulled him down for a short hug. He let her, but his tense body and presence in the Force alerted her to something wrong. She would have to keep an eye on him throughout the night.

“Come on, let’s eat,” she said, leading the way to the kitchen, “I’m hungry and it’s still hot.”

They went to the small island in the kitchen area and he pulled out her chair for her like he always did and sat himself across from her. The silver kitchen droid rolled over with their food and they started in. Ben always seemed hungry when he came after a long day in the shipping yard, and today was no different. He shoveled food into his mouth like it offended him to sit still on his plate. She often had to stop herself from trying to mother him and tell him to slow down. He was done in minutes, leaving her with her plate barely half empty. She remembered Han ate that fast, so maybe it ran in his side of the family.

“Sorry,” came the usual apology when he realized how fast he finished his meal.

“Don’t be,” she always said back.

He leaned back a bit in his chair and picked at something on his pants. She ate her food at her own pace in silence. When she finished, she looked up to find Ben staring at her and he quickly moved his gaze to elsewhere in the room.

“So,” she started out slowly, “you’re free tomorrow.”

Ben let out a huge gust of air, looking up at her gratefully for bringing it up so he didn’t have to. Leia learned over the past year that Ben still had a hard time expressing himself. He would either never broach a subject at all, or he would drop it in her lap without couth or warning. There was no in between. That, she knew, was partially her fault.

“Not exactly free,” were his words after a few moments, “but it’s better than I would have even known to ask for.”

“Have you thought about where you would go?” she asked him.

“Lando spoke to me last week about that,” Ben said, leaning his arms on the table again. “After the mission with Rey, he offered me a piloting job at the relief facility, taking supplies to those in the outer rim. I haven’t given him a definite answer, but I’ll probably take him up on it.”

He looked up at her through his lashes and Leia could only see her young boy searching for his mother’s approval. It broke her heart a little bit.

She reached out her hand and held onto his. “Do you want to do that?” she asked him.

His brow furrowed. He worked his jaw as he tried to find an answer. Leia mentally slapped herself for realizing this was the first time anyone asked him what he wanted to do. She waited for him to reply. She needed him to know it was important for him to make his own decisions, even in the confines of his exile.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “It seems like a good way to give something back after taking so much all these years. I do want to.” He heaved a sigh, and the weight of his past settled on his shoulders again. Leia wished she could take the weight for him.

She squeezed his hand. “But?” she prompted.

“But then there’s Rey,” he said, a small smile lighting his eyes. “She wants me to help her start an academy, but I don’t know if I’m ready to do that. All I know is I want to stay close to her… if she wants me.”

Leia knew that was exactly what Rey wanted, but she would let him figure that out on his own.

“Well, you have time to think about,” she encouraged, “especially since you’ve been asked on a mission now.”

He nodded his head and Leia felt the anxiety again in him. She stood slowly and made her way to the holo-chess board set up in the other room. Ben followed quietly behind her and sat across from her. He started the game.

“You know, I’m going to miss this regularity,” she said after a few rounds of turns.

He made his next move. “Me too,” he said. “I’ll come visit you as often as you want.”

Leia smiled at his pledge. “Thank you,” she said, “but don’t you worry about me. While you’re off elsewhere, I plan on using the time to get some things in order, check in on the Senate, that sort of thing. I’m proud of you, Ben. I want you to know that.”

They played silently after that. Leia never expected him to reply. He was still so unused to praise and complements.

Over the next few turns, Leia began to truly notice how distracted he was. His choices in the game gave Leia a series of advantageous moves that led her to nearly win if she wanted to. She looked over at him. His brow was furrowed, all attention seemingly aimed at the board, but when she reached out with the Force, he was worried, and was trying to hide it.

To try to bring him out of it, Leia made a move that would forfeit her win in two moves if he was paying attention. His next play told her that he hadn’t even seen the hole he missed.

“Okay, Ben,” she said outright, “what’s wrong?”

He looked up in shock. “What do you mean?”

She raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been tense all evening, and you’re distracted.”

“No, I’m not,” he said. To prove his point he made a move, killing one of her pieces. “See?”

“Yes, very impressive,” she deadpanned. “But considering that two moves ago I gave you the opportunity to win and you never noticed, I’d say something was bothering you.”

He looked at her and then down at the bored, truly studying it. He let out a breath through his nose when he saw the hole she made.

“So, do you want to tell me?” she said, moving a piece to cover herself again, “Or do I have to pull it out of you?”

“It’s nothing,” he said.

“Ben –,” she pushed.

“It’s nothing,” he said harshly, not meeting her eyes.

She fell silent, not wanting to fracture anything they built over this past year. She studied the board. She had to hold on to the hope that someday he would trust her again with his worries.

A few more moves were made, and Leia made the final move, winning the game. Ben let out a short growl in frustration. Like her, he wasn’t fond of losing. She said nothing, though, as she reached over and reset the game. She made the first move.

Minutes passed, but Ben didn’t make an attempt at his turn. His mind was elsewhere, and Leia wasn’t sure if she should try to bring him back.

“I keep having the same dream,” his voice said, startling her.

Leia looked at him and waited patiently for the rest.

“Every night for the past few weeks, I dream that I’m in some sort of hallway,” he said without meeting her eyes. “It’s dark at one end, and I feel like…”

Ben swallowed like the words were stuck in his throat. He looked anywhere but at her. She waited.

“I feel like it’s calling me… the darkness,” he said, “and there is a red lightsaber that ignites at the other end. I can hear mechanical breathing and a voice keeps calling to me. Sometimes, I’m holding a kyber crystal in my hand. But I keep running away.”

By the end of his speech, Ben was breathing heavily and curled in on himself. Leia had no idea what to say to his confession. A part of her wanted to panic at the content of the dream, but another part, the wiser, older part was so happy that he told her. She had no idea what to do about something like that, but she promised herself that this time, she would be there beside him no matter what.

Ben had yet to look up at her, and she felt like she needed to say something, but was at a loss as to what.

 _Force, help me,_ she thought to herself.

“I swore to myself, that I would never use a bleeding crystal again,” his voice was strained now. Leia watched him press his lips together to hide their trembling.

He’s afraid.

The thought had her on her feet in an instant and brought her to the mantle with her brother’s lightsaber. She picked it up and walked back to him, noticing that he hadn’t moved. She stepped to his side and waited for him to look at her. It took him a moment, and when he did his eyes were wet. She was amazed that someone with such a large body could look so small.

She presented the saber to him, but he didn’t take it. He just looked up at her, confused.

“Ben, I know that you would never go back to the dark side,” she told him with confidence. “I don’t have the answers to what your dreams mean, but I want you to have this. No Jedi should be without one.”

She held it out for him to take.

“I’m not a Jedi,” he said and didn’t move to retrieve it from her hand.

She sighed in exasperation and reached down to grab his hand and wrap it around the hilt. “You are,” she said, “even if the galaxy never knows it.”

Ben finally grasped it on his own.

“It is yours, you know,” she said as she sat back across from him.

A small smile reached his lips. “Not yet,” he opposed her. “Maybe one day when you’re…” He trailed off but she knew what he meant.

“It’s still yours,” he continued, “Besides, it’s all you have of Luke. I don’t want to take that from you.”

He placed the hilt on the table in front of her but she was firm in her decision. She pushed it back towards him.

“I want you to take it with you,” she said. “I will feel better knowing that you have a familiar weapon to protect yourself out there.”

Ben sighed and pulled it to him again, running his fingers over the edges. 

“Thank you,” he said eventually.

“Of course,” she said and reached her hand out to hold his again.

“But I’ll only use it until I can make another,” he said, determination coloring his words. “The moment I do, I’m coming back and returning it.”

Leia smiled. She felt him in the Force, and he felt stronger, steadier than he had a few moments ago. This was her son, facing adversity head on.

“I’m counting on it,” she said.

…

“Hold still buddy,” Poe placed a hand on his best friend to keep him in place while he worked on him.

His trusty droid, Beebee-ate, chirped back at him in binary, saying that he was holding still. Poe gave the droid a flat look saying he knew better. He continued with cleaning out his main drive, adding oil where needed.

“What’s got you so worked up today?” Poe asked the bot as he moved slightly on his axis again.

The droid answered in his language and Poe patted him in comfort.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, “it’s just another mission.”

A series of beeps and whistles relayed the droid’s further concerns.

“We’re just going to pick up Rey… and her friend,” he said in answer. “We need them on this one.”

Another question in binary was asked.

“It’s, uh, Ben Solo,” Poe admitted to the droid, reminded once again that his droid was quick to pick up on things.

The droid’s reaction was instantaneous. Beebee-ate jerked out of Poe’s hands, causing the man to spill oil on the floor. Poe cursed as the droid yelled at him through binary.

“Yes,” he yelled back, “the man who used to be Kylo Ren. Now get back here. I wasn’t finished.”

Beebee-ate let out a string of cuss words that made Poe’s jaw drop as he rolled out of the quarters they were currently occupying on the _Millennium Falcon._

“Where did you learn that!?” Poe stood to run after him, but found the door blocked by Finn. He turned around the entry way to holler at his droid. “That’s the last time you hang around Artoo!”

Finn pinned him with a raised eyebrow. “Do I even want to know?”

Poe finally turned his attention to him. “Remind me to never leave BeeBee-Ate alone with that white and blue can opener again.”

Poe stormed past Finn, forcing the younger man to play catch-up. On their way to the cock-pit, Finn explained that they made contact with Cloud City and were granted permission to land in a private hanger. Poe sat in the co-pilot’s chair and put on his headset.

“Alright, Chewie,” Poe addressed the being currently in the pilot’s chair. “Let’s go see Leia.”

Chewie hummed in agreement and went through the landing sequence.

When the ship docked, Finn was the first one down the ramp, while Poe and Chewie followed at a more reasonable pace. They were greeted by Generals Organa and Calrissian and, of course, Rey. The young Jedi immediately hugged Finn, followed by Chewie and Poe. After all of the greetings were made and ‘oh I’ve missed you’s’ were exchanged, Poe stepped into his role of why they were here in the first place and asked the pertinent question.

“So where’s Solo?”

The name still felt odd on his lips as he expected to be talking about Han, and not the man who used to be their most dangerous enemy.

Rey smiled and turned to the entrance. “He’s here.”

A moment after she said it, the hanger slid open to reveal the man in question. Poe’s jaw nearly dropped. This man was no longer Kylo Ren in any fashion of the word. The man wore a light blue shirt with a dark grey jacket over it, and black trousers and boots. He wore a holster at his thigh with a blaster, and a shoulder holster with his family’s lightsaber in it. His hair had been kept short since the day his mother first cut it when he was still in a cell, but it was brushed back, not to the side like he used to wear it. His face was the most prominent change. There was no anger there; his eyes looked kind. Poe could see now how he was Leia and Han’s son. He walked like his father, but his eye’s looked like his mother’s.

He stepped forward to greet him before Rey could distract him. “Solo,” he said, “you’re looking good.”

“Thanks,” the man said, “I think.” Leia chuckled under her breath.

“So how do we do this?” Poe asked as he turned to Calrissian. The old general reached into the pocket of his cape and pulled out a small medical syringe.

“I’m ready if you’re ready,” he said addressing Ben. Poe watched as Solo took a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing what this would mean for the rest of his life. He steeled himself and nodded for them to continue.

“Okay,” Poe clapped his hands together and pulled out a mini holopad from his pocket to read from. “The council of Resistance Leaders set to watch you on parole this year has agreed on your good behavior and has decided to move forward and release you from planetary confinement. In doing so, you will submit to receiving a nanotracking device for the rest of your life. You will not be permitted to set foot on any Core system or Colony. This includes … yada, yada, yada… you can read the fine print later.”

Leia shook her head at him. “Poe…”

“Alright,” Poe continued, “you need to swear to the terms in order for the device to be implanted. If you agree, repeat after me… I, Ben Solo…”

“I, Ben Solo…” Ben repeated each phrase as Poe continued with the charge.

“swear to keep to the terms of the sentencing for the rest of my days…”

“to never set foot on a planet or moon of any Core system or Colony…”

“and understand that if I do, my life is forfeit.”

Poe nodded once Solo repeated the last of it and moved out of Calrissian’s way with the syringe.

“I’m going to need an arm,” the older man said to him. Ben slid his left arm out of his jacket and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Poe noticed the brief hesitation before he held it out to him. Lando stepped forward and placed the device to Ben’s skin. A click and a hiss later, and it was done. The device would remain inside him until death.

“Now that that’s done,” Poe said, excitement in his voice, “Let’s get to it.”

Poe turned Leia and kissed her forehead. “It’s always good to see you, Leia.”

“You too, Poe,” she laughed as she hugged him and each of the others in turn, “All of you be careful.”

Before Poe turned to head back to the ship, a familiar orange and white ball came flying down the ramp toward the newest member of their crew. Before Poe realized what was happening, BeeBee-ate charged over to Solo, taser at the ready and shocked him in the leg.

“Ack! What the –” Solo didn’t get to finish his sentence as the droid went in for another shock. “Hey!”

“Beebee-ate, what are you doing?” Rey stepped between the droid and Ben.

Poe couldn’t help it, he busted out laughing, earning him a lot of glares. “I’m sorry,” he apologized for his droid, “I forgot that he never actually met Solo.”

To Poe’s surprise, Ben slowly knelt down to the droid’s level, hands out in a non-threatening stance.

“So you’re the droid that I was looking for all that time,” he said.

Beebee-ate beeped a lot of not-so-nice things at him.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Solo said to him, “but I am glad that I didn’t find you.”

Ben’s eyes looked up and met Poe’s. “And I’m sorry about what I did to your master, but I don’t expect you to forgive me. I did horrible things.”

Beebee-ate turned to Poe and beeped a question that surprised him. He considered his answer to the droid carefully.

“I’m working on it,” was his reply. The droid turned to Rey then, the only other person he truly trusted besides Poe, and asked her the same question.

“Yes, I do,” was her immediate reply. Ben gaped at both of them.

Beebee-ate took in Ben’s expression and swiveled his head between the people he trusted. He let out a whir of a sigh. He chirped out one more statement to Ben, pulling his taser in his sphere, and rolled back on board.

Poe slapped a hand on Ben’s shoulder as he headed in the same direction the droid went. “That was easier than I thought it would be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! So glad you have returned! ... Not much to say here unless you'd like to comment ;) I hope you are all doing well in these strange times. I just wanted to thank you all again for reading and leaving comments and kudos! You guys are awesome!


	14. Jakku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is aboard the Millennium Falcon for the first time in a long time. 
> 
> Greetings my lovely readers! Thank you so much for coming back and leaving kudos and comments! I hope you enjoy!

Ben followed Rey onto his father’s ship and turned to watch the ramp rise.

He was free – sort of.

He brought a hand up and massaged the place where the implant entered his body. A part of him would miss some of the places of the Core systems, but it was a small price to pay for the crimes he committed. He had to move on.

He could almost face his past now without being crippled by guilt and shame. A year of honest, hard labor helped to distance himself from his memories as Kylo Ren - not to forget them, but to look at them by taking a step back and holding the pain at arm’s length.

It was good to have a purpose and knowledge that the effort he put into each day reaped tangible benefits among those who lost so much from the war. Working to bring in and send out the shipments offered him a sense of stability that he never quite experienced before. It was the kind of quiet existence where he could find a certain kind of peace for a season. However, he would be lying to himself if he said he could do that for the rest of his life. About a month ago he began to feel skittish, a feeling he got when he was cooped up in one place for too long. He liked movement, and he liked change, so to be able to fly into the stars again was an undeserved blessing.

A smaller hand covered his, drawing his attention. He followed it up to Rey’s eyes. She smiled at him and he felt his insides flip-flop, like they always did.

“Are you alright?” she asked him, leaning into his space.

He swallowed heavily. “Yea,” he sighed, “Yea, I think I am.”

A loud noise from Finn dropping a container and then talking to Chewie behind her reminded him that they were not alone. He looked at her longingly, wanting nothing more than to sit down somewhere with her, but he saw a sheepish apology in her eyes.

“I promised Poe that I would help him in take-off and make sure we jumped to hyperspace without any problems,” she said.

He scoffed at that. He expected plenty of technical issues throughout the journey. She rolled her eyes.

“I’ll find you later, okay?” she asked. Her eyes stared up at him and he realized she was waiting for an answer.

“Yea,” he finally answered. She squeezed his hand and turned towards the cock pit, and he watched her go until she was out of sight.

When she was no longer the object of his focus, he realized that Finn was watching him stare after her. Chewie finished unloading whatever he brought with him, stood, and marched in the direction towards Ben. Ben automatically tensed as the Wookie trudged at him, but Chewie simply walked by as if he wasn’t there.

Ben let out a shaky breath.

“Is everything all right?” Finn’s voice drew his attention back to him. His eyes traced between Ben and where Chewie went, obviously hinting at the latent tension there.

Ben forced the air out through his nose. “Not exactly,” he admitted.

“Is it going to be a problem?” Finn asked.

Ben could lie, but the truth was that he didn’t know. Chewie wasn’t really speaking to him, except for when necessary. And rightfully so. Bile rose in Ben’s throat as he thought about what he did to Chewie, even such a short amount of time before he turned back to the light. When the Knights of Ren captured Chewie on Pasaana, Kylo Ren was the one to interrogate him. Kylo Ren taunted him, belittled him, and then tore the memories he needed from the Wookie to find Rey.

He got a lot more memories from the Wookie than he planned. He saw himself as a child in the Wookie’s mind, practically being raised by him at times. And he saw a younger version of his father with Chewie. He saw what he took away from him – he killed his best friend and brother. There was no question why the Wookie shot him on that bridge, why he still hadn’t had a real conversation with him. 

Ben was still afraid to approach him to try to mend the gap between them. With Rey, he could count on her understanding. She found him in his loneliness. With his mother, he could count on her strength. She reached out first. But with Chewie? He would have to make the first move… and he was a coward.

His uncle’s words came back to him unbidden from lessons long forgotten. _Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi._

 _But I’m not a Jedi_ , he tried to argue with himself.

His mother’s voice from the night before stood against that statement, and Rey would probably have a thing or two to add about his doubts. The weight of the lightsaber over his shoulder also stated that his claim was invalid.

He looked back to Finn still waiting for an answer, and then glanced over his shoulder in the direction the Wookie went. His fingers drummed on the side of his leg and he made up his mind.

“I’ll make sure it isn’t,” he said to the man, and Finn nodded.

Ben turned and went after the Wookie. It wasn’t hard to find him. Chewbacca was already under the panel of the floor, a welding torch in paw and goggles held to his eyes, working on one of the never-ending repairs of this ship. It was a sight so familiar that it nearly knocked the wind out of him.

He stepped close to the Wookie and was suddenly at a loss for words. What could he say? He stood there so long that Chewie slowed in his work and periodically glanced at Ben’s shoes beside him.

“I’m sorry,” Ben finally croaked. He closed his eyes at how much those two words didn’t say. Chewie paused.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that I took Han away from you. I’m sorry I betrayed you,” Ben forced out. “I’m sorry.”

There. The words were out, and he felt some of the weight lift off him. He couldn’t ask for those words to be accepted, though, so he turned to leave, having done what he could.

Just as Ben was about to round the corner of the room, he heard his name called out in Shyriiwook. He stopped and turned back. Chewie was already out of the hole in the floor and stood to face him. He tilted his head at him, studying Ben with a look that felt like he saw right through him.

 _“Come with me,”_ he growled to Ben.

After a moment or two, Ben’s feet obeyed the request and he followed the Wookie through the ship’s interior towards the captain’s quarters and towards Chewie’s bunk. Ben stood at a distance as the Wookie crouched to open one of the many hidden panels designed for smuggling. He reached inside, grabbed something and stood. Two giant Wookie steps covered the distance between them, and Chewie held the object out to Ben to take.

It was a small, beat up holo disc. He looked back up to the Wookie, confused. Chewie gestured for him to activate it. When he flicked the switch, an image appeared of Chewie holding a small human child in his arms. It took a moment for Ben to realize that he was the child in the image. He couldn’t have been more than three years old.

Ben watched as the tiny image of himself shrieked and made a fuss, tugging and pulling the Wookie’s fur, as if to trying to climb him. Chewie just held him, content to let the child do whatever he wanted.

“ _Who is that, Ben?”_ the voice of Han called from somewhere outside the hologram. He sounded so happy with laughter in his words. “ _Just who do you think you’re climbing? Is that Chewie?”_

 _“Chewie!”_ screamed the child’s voice. He flung his little arms out in victory and the image of Chewie had to reposition his arms to make sure the boy didn’t fall backwards. “ _Chewie!”_

The toddler’s arms came flying back to the Wookie embracing him as much as his arms allowed. Chewie barked his laughter, and Han’s laugh was heard somewhere in the background. The hologram ended zoomed in on the small boy, a giddy smile plastered on his face half buried in the Wookie’s shoulder.

When the image faded, Ben’s cheeks were stained with tears. The holo disk awakened so many memories with Chewie – Uncle Chewie. Ben handed the holo disk back and the Wookie reactivated it to watch it again.

 _“I missed this little boy so much,”_ he growled in Shyriiwook. “ _There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for him. But then the monsters took him away from me, and I was afraid I would never see him again.”_

Chewie ended the hologram and looked at Ben. “ _I missed you, Ben.”_

Ben didn’t know what to say, but Chewie just pulled the boy-turned-man into an all-encompassing embrace. Ben automatically stiffened at the contact, but the smell of Wookie fur and the familiar heat of the arms around him shattered his walls and Ben found himself returning the embrace, sobbing into his arms. For a moment, adulthood was stripped away, and he was once again that child in the hologram running to Chewie because he fell and scraped his knee, because he heard voices in the night and mommy and daddy weren’t close.

 _“I’ve been waiting for you, kid,”_ he rumbled. “ _Welcome home.”_

Ben slowly pulled away. Chewie mussed up his hair like he used to, and Ben involuntarily went to fix it, making Chewie bark a soft laugh.

 _“Now come on and help me,”_ Chewie said as he went back to working on the ship.

The next few hours found Ben confined in the space below the floor of the ship. Chewie gave him the task of restoring and upgrading the wiring to one of the old compressors while he worked on something else. Not much was said, but the silence was companionable between them, which was a welcome change.

Ben’s hands found the work melancholy yet oddly comforting. The ship’s scent and sounds carried memories of him on board as a child running through the corridor, hiding in the storage compartments, watching his dad work.

He missed him. He missed his dad so much.

It had been a little over two years since Han Solo’s death, but Ben hadn’t properly faced that moment until after he saw the vision of his father on the Death Star wreckage. Turning from the darkness allowed him to mourn properly in the months after, but he still wasn’t ready to forgive himself. The knowledge that Han would be here if it weren’t for his actions weighed on him often, especially when he looked at his mother, aging alone, or now, when it should be Han beside Chewie, not him.

Ben’s hands stilled on the wires in front of him and he had to fight back unexpected tears.

“Your father would be proud of you,” Rey’s voice startled him out of his spiraling thoughts.

Ben looked up to her sitting on the edge of the compartment beside him, one leg dangling over the edge. She looked at him like she knew what he was thinking. She probably did. He found himself less and less needing to keep his mental walls up around her, so she probably heard him through the bond.

Over the last year, he hadn’t seen as much of her as he would have liked. She was still needed by the galaxy on the front lines, and he was confined to one planet. He usually only saw her through the bond that they had, and those moments were the best parts of his time there. With practice and mutual sharing, they figured out how to open and close the bond at will. Sometimes she would ask him to talk, and sometimes he just needed to see her. It was never scheduled or on a regular basis.

They mostly just talked – about anything and everything – and he learned so much about her. He knew now that her favorite color was green. He knew that she could fall asleep anywhere – literally. And he knew that she preferred sugary foods over salty or savory. They often shared their days with each other, their frustrations with the galaxy, their pasts that no one else ever knew of. He even helped guide her on how to finish her lightsaber – a beautiful, yellow, double-bladed saberstaff. It wasn’t always perfect, but it was the first tangible friendship that Ben had with anyone in many years. And Ben loved it. He loved her more and more every day.

Ben looked at Rey above him and thought again about their kiss on that fateful day. He longed to kiss her again, longed to hold her forever, but he refused to push her. For so long, they had been enemies and he felt he had to prove to himself and to her that he could be a friend before anything else. He also had to let her have the choice to find someone else if she wanted. But she hadn’t turned away yet.

The sound of more footsteps coming through the corridors jolted the pair from watching each other and Ben tried to go back to his task with an audience.

Finn and Poe entered a few moments later and Chewie asked about their progress.

“We’re nearly there,” Poe answered, sitting on the edge of the opening beside Rey. He turned to Ben and scoffed. “I gotta admit, I never thought I would see you down there working on this ship.”

Ben fiddled with one of the wires and it sparked, causing him to recoil sharply, glaring in disgust. “You and me both,” he admitted, pulling a laugh out of Rey.

“I can't believe we are going back to Jakku," Finn grumbled. He pulled out an energy bar package and began peeling the wrapper, leaning against the far wall of the room. "Are you sure this is the last Observatory?”

“Unless there is another clone of Palpatine out there who plans to create more for another of his ‘Contingency Plans,’ then yes,” Ben said.

“Don’t even joke about that,” Poe mumbled, cringing at the idea.

“Well,” Ben added as an afterthought, “that is if you really did destroy the others.”

“Hey,” Finn and Rey said simultaneously.

Ben shoved the tool in his hand between his teeth to hide a smile.

“That has got to be the most messed up plan I ever heard –,” Poe said, disregarding the jibe. He laid back on the floor and closed his eyes. “A Contingency Plan for ruling the galaxy _after_ you’re dead.”

“I’ll say,” Finn said with a mouth full. “A plan to wipe out not only your enemies, but the remnants of your own army too? That takes a special kind of crazy.”

Ben and Rey watched as Finn put his pointer finger to his lips requesting silence and stepped over toward Poe. He dug his boot into Poe’s side. Poe grunted and grabbed onto his foot, and there was a brief squabble over the ownership of said foot, bringing laughter out of Rey. Chewie turned to holler at them to goof off somewhere other than his work space, and Ben felt the corners of his lips turn up at the familiar reprimand.

“Alright, alright,” Poe gave in and let Finn have his foot back. He moved back to his previous position. “Seriously though, you have got to be cracked to think up a plan like that.”

“No argument there,” Rey said, “But it did work. Without it, the First Order wouldn’t have risen. The emperor’s plan put in place their leadership and resources. Each Observatory acted as a network of information for them to use to start over.”

“It almost worked beyond what we know now,” Ben interjected. “Were it not for their loss at the Battle of Jakku above the Observatory, the First Order would have risen unchallenged and much sooner than they did. Things could have been so much worse than they are.”

There was a quiet lull where they each let Ben’s words sink in. Ben was extremely grateful for the defeat in that battle. He had no idea where he would be now if things played out differently, but things probably would have been unbearable compared to what his life had been like.

“You’re sure you can translate any artifacts we find?” Poe asked Ben. “You’re one of the few people available now who can translate Sith text.”

“I’m still proficient,” he answered. “And there will undoubtedly be many artifacts. The Jakku Observatory was saved for the more important Sith relics and texts.”

Beebee-ate’s chirping suddenly came through on Poe’s comm device in his pocket.

“Sounds like we are getting ready to come out of hyperspace,” Poe said as he jumped up. “You want to land her, Chewie?”

The Wookie answered in the affirmative and climbed out of the hole to follow Finn and Poe to the cock pit, leaving Ben and Rey alone.

“I still can’t believe that I never even made the connection between that battle and the old ships I was scavenging,” Rey thought aloud. 

Ben studied her far off expression for a moment before answering.

“It’s not that odd,” he comforted as he placed the panel back over the wires to seal it shut. “You were a scavenger; your life was focused on survival, just as everyone else’s was around you. No one was worried about a battle long past other than the parts to be used from the crashes.”

“Still,” she said, “I wonder what would have become of me if the Contingency Plan had worked like it was supposed to.”

“The planet core would have been detonated from the borehole that was drilled through Jakku’s mantle inside the Observatory. Both the remnants of the Imperial and New Republic armies would have been decimated in the planet’s explosion,” Ben said. “Your parents would have fled to a different planet to hide.”

Ben could tell that she heard him, but her gaze was far off. He reached through the bond and felt her anxiousness. He furrowed his eyebrows and stepped up to her at the edge of the compartment. He tentatively placed his hand over hers.

“What is it?” he asked her gently.

“It’s just…” she trailed off, taking a deep breath before continuing. “It’s just that I haven’t been back to Jakku since I remembered my parents.”

Ben hadn’t thought of that. He wondered how he would feel in her situation, and he supposed that it would be odd to come back to such a place after changing so much. It would be like Ben returning to Chandrila, his home world. He shuddered at the thought.

Ben was once again reminded that Rey was the strongest woman he knew. She faced things most of the galaxy could never dream of, and not only survived, but thrived in the aftermath.

“They would be proud of you,” he said, turning her words back at her with a grin.

She chuckled softly at him and rose from where she was seated. She reached out a hand to help Ben climb from the section in the floor. He accepted it and they both bent to close the compartment and clean up the tools scattered about the area.

When they stood and turned to each other, Ben was much closer to Rey than he anticipated. Her scent of shampoo filled his nostrils, and he felt her breath on his skin.

“Rey…” he started to speak, but he had no idea what he wanted to tell her. His eyes traced to her lips. She hadn’t moved away. He could just lean down and –

“We’re closing in on the coordinates for the Observatory,” Poe’s voice was loudly echoing down the hall and coming closer to the room. “It looks like –”

Ben’s back was to where Poe was standing, but he watched Rey’s face turn to annoyance and slight amusement as she looked around him.

“Oops,” Poe snarked, sounding not at all repentant.

Ben turned to glare at him, wanting nothing more to wipe the smirk off the other man’s face. Half a dozen plans formed in his mind to use the Force against him, but he felt Rey’s hand tighten on his, shaking him out of it… for now.

“You were saying?” Rey prompted.

“Uh, oh yes. We are approaching the coordinates and will be landing in a minute,” Poe said.

They all heard the landing gear and ramp lower, followed by a small jolt and the ship stilled.

“Make that a few seconds,” Poe said. He turned back down the hallway to grab his gear. “Come on you two,” he called after them.

The motley crew readied themselves and made their way down the ramp and into the vast desert. Ben thought that they should have never worked together, but here they all were – a Jedi, a pilot, a former Storm Trooper, a Wookie, a droid, and the former leader of the known galaxy. Ben accepted the fact then and there that his life would never be normal, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

As they looked across the span of desert to what seemed to be nothing more than a bunker long forgotten, Ben felt the trepidation from Rey in their bond.

 _You’re not alone,_ he pushed through to her.

He let his hand reach towards hers, fingers brushing against the back of hers. Her shoulders relaxed slightly and she nodded.

“You’re sure this is it?” Finn asked as he looked through a pair of binoculars.

“Yes,” Rey answered.

Yes, this was definitely it. Ben felt the powerful darkness emanating from the facility as Rey surely did.

“Alright,” Poe said, “let’s go slow. If this is anything like the other ones, there’s a possibility of working turrets or droids we might activate.”

Rey drew her yellow saberstaff and Ben readied the Legacy saber. They moved forward slowly, but nothing happened. None of the turrets fired, and Ben hoped they were just out of commission and not setting them up for a trap. This whole place made him feel uneasy.

As they came upon the huge wall embedded in the sand, Ben couldn’t shake the feeling that this place was familiar.

“Where’s the door?” Poe asked.

“It’s there,” Rey said, her head tilted while studying it. “It’s just hidden.”

“How do we get in?” Finn asked them.

Ben studied the outside and saw a small panel on the far side of the wall. He reached into the Force and pushed the cover off to reveal a scan plate.

“I found a scan pad over – here for a handprint, I’m assuming,” Ben told them.

Chewie announced that there was one on the other side.

“Beebee-ate, can you hack it?” Poe asked. Through a series of beeps and whirs, the droid answered that he could only do one side, but both needed to be activated at once.

Ben reached out to Rey through the bond and showed her without words how to trick the system with the Force. They would activate it by forcing the system to operate on the last successful time the door opened. Without a word, Rey and Ben went to the opposing scan plates and placed a hovering hand over each pad. Each light turned green and a piece of the wall moved back and slid to the side, revealing darkness behind it.

“Neat trick,” Poe said.

He shined a torch into the entrance. The door led to a pentagonal shaped hallway made from what looked like dark, burnished metal and black glass that traveled under the dunes. A series of pillars stood at equidistance from each other, preventing the sands above from pressing down and swallowing the Observatory whole.

Ben felt a sense of dread at the pit of his stomach. He knew this place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The reference to Kylo Ren torturing Chewie after capturing him on Pasaana is a reference to an additional scene in the novelization of TROS.  
> \- The holo disc is also mentioned in the TROS novelization when Lando finds it after reminiscing in a tour of his old ship.  
> \- I know it's not completely canon that Rey has a saberstaff at the end of the movie, but with the many rumors that it is a saberstaff (we only saw half of it), and the fact that Dark!Rey has one led me to make that conclusion.  
> \- Emperor Palpatine really did have a Contingency Plan to end the Empire completely for falling prematurely. He had a chosen few leaders (which included Hux and his father) to go about setting up the First Order while he worked on getting a new body and ruling behind the scenes. (This would have been so nice to know in the movie)  
> \- There also really was a battle at the Jakku Observatory. If you are interested in finding more about this and the emperor's plan, you can look up this information on the Star Wars Wookieepedia pages. I got lost reading about all of it :)


	15. Beckoned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben steps into the place of his visions. What waits for him inside the Observatory under the sands of Jakku?
> 
> Hello to all of my beautiful readers! I hope you all are staying safe and healthy during this time. As you may have noticed, we are closing in on the end here. I am both looking forward to it, and sad that it's coming to a closure. Thank you all again for your comments and kudos! I hope you all stay with me till the end!

If there was one thing that Ben learned from his years as Kylo Ren, it was how to recognize fear. Fear was one of the tools that Snoke taught him to use to build his power in the dark side – fear, and pain, and anger. And as Ben looked into the dark corridor before him stretching under the dunes, he recognized fear. This was the place in his dreams; the place of his vision that he first had in his cell as a prisoner of the Resistance.

 _Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi,_ his uncle’s voice reminded him again.

Ben took a deep breath to steel himself. He let Rey take the lead followed by the rest of the party. Ben took the rear guard and nearly flinched when the huge door ground shut behind them.

The only sources of light were from the lightsabers and their torches reflecting eerily on the black glass-like surface they walked on. The only sand in the structure was what they brought with them on their shoes. It looked untouched even after all these years, most likely due to some kind of pressure sealing. The metal pillars holding up the corridor were set at odd angles, as if to add to the peculiar shape of it as a whole and perhaps send a warning.

It was deathly quiet. Not a hum of life or machinery besides their own met their ears. Ben wanted to take it as a good sign, but the persistent presence of the darkness wouldn’t let him.

“It’s so cold in here,” Finn said. Even though the statement was whispered, the sound seemed to carry and reverberate throughout.

“Really?” Poe replied. “I didn’t think it was that cold.”

“It’s the darkness,” Rey said. “It makes everything feel colder. You’ve learned a lot, Finn. Your senses are more attuned to it now.”

“That’s comforting,” Finn said, drawing his jacket closer.

“Come on,” Poe said, sounding less confident than his words, “this should be an easy mission. We just see if there’s any information worth salvaging, set the explosives, and get the hell out of here.”

Ben rolled his eyes and remained silent as he followed them into a large chamber that opened up at the end of the corridor. He counted eight sides to the room; each wall covered in huge panels made from one piece of solid black metal. At the center was an octagonal bank of computer systems.

The six beings spread out around the room and Ben ended up on the other side from the entrance they came through. The familiarity of this place brushed against his mind again, causing him to shiver. Rey gazed up at him, a quizzical look on her brow. He shook away the feeling and gave her a reassuring nod and a smile. She looked like she didn’t quite believe him, but let it go.

“Beebee-ate,” Poe called his droid. “Can you try to turn it on?”

The round droid beeped the affirmative and plugged himself into a port. After a few moments of thoughtful whirs and chirps, the systems began to light up and come to life with an ancient whine that unnerved Ben. A blue holographic image of a database appeared in the space above the structure, lighting up the chamber. It was all written in a dialect of the Sith language. Ben deactivated his lightsaber and stepped forward.

“There’s a lot of information here,” Ben said, his voice soft as he tried to decipher as much as he could in his head.

“There’s information about the Contingency Plan,” he informed them, pointing to a section of headings. He lightly touched the hologram and it zoomed in. “It looks like the plan was to use a number of Sith relics and one of their own agents to complete it. After a ritual, the activated artifacts would create an explosion in the borehole to the center of the planet.”

“Thank goodness that didn’t happen,” Finn commented. Chewie growled an agreement.

Ben hummed and tapped at another section to read. “This looks like a list of inventory of the Sith artifacts around here. This one is interesting…” he trailed off as he zoomed in on another section. He squinted at the texts, dredging up everything he knew about the language. He lamented that he didn’t have the time to take notes and dig into the more complicated terms with comparative translations. He could get the general ideas behind it, but he knew that specifics were lost on him.

“Uhh, base to Ben,” Poe snapped his fingers, getting Ben’s attention. They were all looking at him and he realized he was mumbling to himself.

“Want to share with the class?” Poe asked him.

Ben felt his ears turn red and was grateful that his hair covered them. He wondered how long he had been staring. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, sorry,” he mumbled. “There is a lot of technical information that I can’t really decipher – probably not really important for us – but it mentions the Acolytes of the Beyond a lot.”

“Acolytes of the Beyond,” Rey repeated to herself. “They came up a lot in the other destroyed Observatories.”

“It’s not surprising,” Ben said as he flipped through more content, skimming for anything new to them. “Like the Knights of Ren, they were a group of dark side fanatics, only without Force sensitivity. They were the ones known for collecting the Sith relics for worship or returning them to their deceased masters.”

“Ochi Bestoon was a member of the group,” Rey said, her eyes focused on something out of reach.

The name sounded familiar, but Ben couldn’t quite place it. Finn decided to fill him in. “He was the one who had the Sith dagger on Pasaana, the one who…” Finn left off awkwardly unsure how to finish.

“The one who killed my parents,” Rey finished for him, breaking out of her spell. Ben looked at her and she gave a small smile back to him. He knew she was no longer bent on revenge. Time over the last year helped her to move past that yearning and focus on the bravery and sacrifice her parents made for her. He found that he was proud of her for it.

Looking back to the hologram before him, something else caught his eye. “Beebee-ate, can you open this file?” he asked, pointing at the aforementioned.

The droid looked to Poe for confirmation of the request. Poe nodded for him to go ahead and the droid did as asked.

The current hologram collapsed and was replaced by another. This one made Ben smile.

“Is that what I think it is?” Rey asked in awe.

“It’s the Unknown Regions,” Ben said. Finn whistled through his teeth.

“ _That’s a lot more complete than any map I have ever seen,”_ Chewie rumbled.

“They made a lot more of an effort to complete it, I suppose,” Ben said.

“Beebee-ate,” Poe called, “see if you can copy this into your system. This could go a long way.” He pause and let out a light laugh. “No pun intended.”

Ben took in the details of the additional systems, planets, and other filled-in holes of space that the map provided. Much of the space was classified as dangerous, and there were still large regions that even the Sith had yet to explore. He could lose himself for days – weeks – studying this.

As he considered the map, he felt that tug that he was discreetly trying to ignore – only this time it was stronger. It was a pull now, like something calling out to him without actually saying his name. It was coming from the other side of the wall behind him. The pull was familiar in a way he couldn’t place, like he felt something similar before.

He stepped up to the wall and saw Rey move closer in his peripheral vision.

“What is it?” she asked him. Ben wanted to tell her that something was calling him, but the others would be suspicious.

“I’m not sure,” he said instead. It was the truth, just not all of it.

A few beeps and whirs from Beebee-ate declared that he found a system of tunnels leading from the room and asked if he should open the doors. Ben heard Poe give the affirmative.

As the mechanisms in the door hissed to open, Ben felt a warning in the Force.

“Wait!” he shouted as Rey cried out for them to stop.

Three doors opened at once positioned like cardinal directions throughout the room. The hallway they entered from was the fourth. From the blackness beyond emerged three droids, one from each door, each with activated electrostaffs in their hands.

“Sentinels,” Ben said, immediately backing up and drawing his saber. He heard Rey activate hers behind him.

Beebee-ate let out a series of apologetic whistles.

“Yea,” Poe said, raising his blaster, “maybe it wasn’t best to open all of them at once.”

The three droids stopped just inside the chamber, and the light from the room revealed their forms better. They were humanoid, resembling something like the B1 Battle Droids that Ben studied from the old wars, but their bodies were red with heads shaped like helmets with a smooth glass dome. Inside the domes was a projection of a man that Ben didn’t recognize. The projection in all three spoke in sync with the others.

“You have encroached on most holy ground,” they said. “This is a place of the Shadow. You will die for your trespass.”

With those words, the image of the being faded and the droids attacked. Ben blocked a blow from the one in front of him. Rey took the one towards the left, leaving the third for the others.

Ben attacked with the hope of ending the fight quickly, but the droid was far more adept at dueling than he expected. It was about two feet taller than he was and its strength was enough to match his own and then some. It forced him to change his approach to short and quick bursts of action.

“Uh, guys,” Poe called out behind him, “blaster fire barely leaves a dent!”

“I’m a little busy at the moment!” Rey screamed in reply.

He vaguely heard something from Chewie about getting out the explosives while they retreated to the hall they came through. Out of the corner of his awareness, he felt Finn turn toward the droid chasing them with his hand outstretched. He used the Force to push the droid back off its feet toward Ben.

On an impulse, Ben dove away from the droid he was fighting, causing it to lumber after him. He lunged toward the other, attacking it and forcing it to focus on him and not his friends. The two sentinels moved to flank him and Ben took a defensive stance, using the wall behind him to keep them in his sights.

In that brief lull of battle between himself and his two adversaries, he saw that Rey was moving constantly in order to not be pinned down by the giant droid above her. The set up between all of them reminded him of the first time he and Rey fought together. Ben heard the others arguing over how to help, but the droid to his right moved, and he was forced back into action.

He parried, dodged, attacked. His movements were fluid and fast, the blue blade in his hand humming with memory of use in battle. He would have looked like a prince or a Jedi of old were it not for the swagger that lingered in his stance. He still had ‘scoundrel’ in his blood, and he finally learned to be proud of it.

Ben used their height against them and pushed his speed to something far beyond what he was used to and stabbed his blade into a droid’s head, breaking the dome. He had no time to celebrate as the other’s electrostaff swung at him forcing him to retreat into the far corridor that he was standing in front of when it opened. The sentinel followed him inside, and to Ben’s dismay, the droid plunged its staff into what looked like a control panel, shutting the door behind it with a sharp finality.

Ben leaped with his saber, eager to end it. He spun, attacked, and with one final cut, the droid’s top half was sliced open. Its vital systems sparked as it sputtered out and collapsed.

Chest heaving, Ben ensured that his foe was beaten and made his way to the door. The panel was completely useless now, so the only two options were to wait for someone to open it from the other side, or to carve his way out. Caught between the indecision, Ben had nearly forgotten about the feeling that he had been fighting since their arrival – the feeling of being beckoned by something.

It called to him now, louder than before and Ben automatically spun, searching for the voice that wasn’t there. He stepped towards it, compelled, almost as if under a spell. His feet took him further into the darkness; the only light was his saber, glowing bright blue. As he advanced, he took note of the regularly spaced pillars along each side of the hall and the objects resting on pedestals between them – a helmet, a medallion, tablets, an urn, a dagger, an amulet, a cryptex. All of them exuded power from the dark side of the Force, some more than others, but Ben was drawn further.

At the end of the corridor was a solitary, black stone alter with one relic resting at the center.

It was a lightsaber, and its crystal hummed in greeting.

Ben stopped in his tracks. This lightsaber, with its bleeding crystal, belonged to the dark side. And it was calling him. Everything in him screamed against the call. He made a decision when he turned from the darkness, and he was not going back on it. He would not give in this time, he was sure of it. He came too far.

With a resolution that he hoped his mother would be proud of, he turned away from the altar, but just as he did the familiar sound of another lightsaber blade ignited, followed closely by the ignition of its crossguard.

He stood face to face with himself.

Kylo Ren stood before him, blocking his exit. The red glow of the unstable blade caught on the scar bisecting the side of his face and glinted in the reflection of his irises. Ben stumbled back, nearly falling onto the altar. He brought the blue saber up in warning. So this was how he looked to the galaxy.

As they stood studying each other, something in Ben knew that this was a projection of the dark side, but it was hard to convince himself that this wasn’t real. He waited.

Kylo Ren lifted his red blade, pointing at him. “That lightsaber,” he said, “it belongs to me.”

Ben looked down to the blue saber in his hand, but he was certain that he was not referring to it. He glanced behind him to the one on the altar, and Kylo Ren followed his gaze.

“It’s not meant for you,” Ren snarled at him.

Ben shuffled his feet, unsure of his next move, but Ren made it for him. The other version of himself attacked with a rush of darkness that nearly toppled Ben. He was forced to abandon his position and ducked beneath the blow. It was like the vision of Kylo Ren knew his every move before he made it, forcing him into the defense.

Ben stumbled, his brain trying to assess too many things at once, and Kylo Ren made too quick of work disarming him, sending the Legacy saber flying out of his reach. A kick to his ribs, and Ben found himself flat on his back, breath knocked out of him, staring up at the red blade that still haunted his nightmares.

“You’re so weak;” Kylo Ren taunted him, “to think that I could have ever been you.”

Ben pushed himself up onto his elbows. “I’d choose being weak any day over being you.”

“I will kill you again,” the apparition said, “And when you are finally gone for good, I will take what is rightfully mine.”

Kylo Ren drew his saber back to deliver a killing blow. Ben brought out his hand, pulling the Force to him to push back, but he didn’t get a chance to use it.

Another red blade was driven through Kylo Ren’s back and protruded at an ugly angle from his chest. Kylo Ren gasped, glared one last time at Ben, and dissolved into the darkness.

Ben’s eyes widened as he took in his purported savior. The being was donned in all black; a long cape flowed eerily over his shoulders. His chest was covered in a plate that lit up with indicators and dials. A mechanical breath wheezed in and out, causing Ben to shiver. The mask was the same as the one he used to venerate, only now it was in pristine condition.

Darth Vader spoke. “Grandson.”

Ben felt his soul freeze at the word. He scrambled, limbs hardly heeding his commands to move. In his clumsy attempt to flee, he didn’t notice that the apparition was changing. When he finally found his footing and turned to run, another voice called him.

“Ben,” it said.

Ben paused. He was scared to turn again. He just stood, back to the source of the voice.

“Ben,” the voice called him again. It was softer now, and his curiosity got the better of him. He slowly turned to the one who addressed him.

Darth Vader was nowhere to be seen. In his place was a young man dressed in the traditional garb of the Jedi, but his body glowed in a slightly bluish tint. His hair was like Ben’s, long and wavy, but lighter in color. His eyes were fierce. Ben reached for the Legacy saber through the Force and felt it fly into his hand, igniting instantly. The man just stood and watched him.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Ben,” he said after a long moment.

Ben’s automatic reaction was to scoff, but something inside him recognized the man.

“Who are you?” he asked the stranger.

“I think that’s fairly obvious,” the man said with a smile, “I’m your grandfather.”

Anakin Skywalker, Ben’s mind supplied for him. He took in the Jedi before him again and was surprised to feel the light side of the Force emanating from him and not the dark. It was weak, like Anakin wasn’t quite on his plane of existence, but it was enough to give him pause. Ben wondered if he really was there – if this was what a Force-ghost looked like.

“What do you want?” Ben asked.

“I don’t want anything from you,” the man said holding his palms out as if to reassure him that he wasn’t a threat.

Ben repositioned his grip on the saber.

“Then why are you here?” Ben ground through his teeth.

“I wanted to see my grandson for myself,” he said quietly.

Ben had no reply for that. Anakin tilted his head to study him, and Ben felt slightly exposed under his open scrutiny. 

The spirit of Anakin smiled softly, and Ben thought a little sadly too. “I’m proud of you, Ben,” he said, “You did what I could not.”

The statement only served to confuse Ben further. He thought of everything that he knew of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader. Anakin fell to the dark side, just as Ben did, but he also was redeemed in the end by Luke, just as Ben was. He could not think of what he meant. In Ben’s eyes, he followed step-by-step in his grandfather’s footsteps.

“I don’t understand,” Ben confessed. “What did I do that you didn’t?”

“Do you know why I fell to the darkness?” Anakin asked him instead of answering.

Ben shook his head no. That was a story he was never told. Anakin nodded as if he knew that would be the answer.

“I had a vision that my wife would die,” Anakin said, “ and I became consumed with the need to save her. Chancellor Palpatine, as he was known at that time, saw my fear and my frustrations with the Jedi Council, and I let him fan those emotions into a flame. It was my fear for Padmé, your grandmother, that started me on the path to darkness.”

He took a step towards Ben. “But you,” he continued, stepping close to the humming lightsaber blade, “you were pushed into darkness. And I’m sorry, Ben. I’m sorry for what my legacy did to you.”

Anakin smiled, looking down at the weapon in Ben’s hands. “Although, I am glad that at least one piece of my heritage has been able to protect you.”

Ben followed his gaze to the blue saber; the weapon that was originally the ghost’s in front of him. He lowered it, realizing that it would have no effect anyway.

“I was there, in the Sith throne room. I saw what you did, and I knew that you would be alright. You are strong, Ben,” Anakin said. “Not only did you turn away from the darkness, as I once did; not only did you fight the Emperor to bring balance to the Force as I did; you also saved the woman you loved from certain death by giving her your own Life Force. You did what I couldn’t. Even when I was in the light, the thought of self-sacrifice was never in the realm of my possibilities. I believed it could only be done by pursuing more power.”

Anakin dipped his head, making sure that Ben found his eyes. “Your legacy will be stronger.”

It took Ben more than a minute to find his voice.

“I’m not that strong, though,” he said, his voice quiet. “My legacy will be nothing more than that of an exiled war criminal. I will always be fighting to keep the balance inside me. Even now, I followed the call of the dark things here.”

“There are many dark artifacts here,” Anakin agreed. “But tell me, did you follow them all? Or just one?”

Ben looked around him and realized that the only one he pursued was the saber on top of the altar. Anakin turned to look at it as well.

“It was mine, you know. Well,” Anakin crossed his arms over himself, “it was Darth Vader’s.”

Ben looked between the apparition of his grandfather and the lightsaber. Surely, it couldn’t be here of all places.

“How is it yours?” Ben asked him. “I thought your saber was lost to the wreckage of the Death Star.”

“It was,” Anakin confirmed, “but a Kubaz thief named Ooblamon sent a convoy of his personal droids through the wreckage, salvaging anything of value. Vader’s lightsaber was among the plunder. He boasted about it, claiming it was mine until a group of three women of the Acolytes of the Beyond wished to purchase it. He sold it to them, and they brought it to Yupe Tashu, the leader of their order. He ended up keeping it for himself and placed it among the artifacts here until he was chosen as the sacrifice to complete the late Emperor’s Contingency Plan.”

“It’s had a journey,” Anakin continued as he walked to the altar and picked the weapon up in his glowing hands, “ and I know it’s been calling you for a long time now. It called to your darkness, just as it is still steeped in its own.”

He held the hilt out to Ben. “But I want you to have it.”

Ben immediately took a step back. “I can’t take that.”

“Yes, you can,” Anakin countered.

“I can’t,” Ben said, his resolve steady. “I’m not Kylo Ren.”

“No,” Anakin agreed, “You are Ben Solo, _my_ grandson.”

Ben shook his head again. “No, I already have yours,” he said lifting the blue saber in his hand to prove his point.

“Yes,” he said, “That saber has been passed through generations as my legacy – from me to my son and my daughter, and then to you. It called to Rey because of her connection to you. But this one-” he presented the dark saber to Ben with both hands, “-this one is only for you.”

To say that Ben was confused was an understatement. Here was Anakin Skywalker, the great Jedi Knight, offering the lightsaber of his evil self, to his grandson who was also redeemed from the darkness, to what… turn back to the dark? To use it as a Jedi? What kind of test was this?

Ben took a long cleansing breath. “I can’t,” he said one last time, “I swore I would never use a bleeding crystal again.”

Anakin nodded at his conviction. However, he still stepped into Ben’s space, lifted his hand with ghostly fingers, and wrapped Ben’s hand around the hilt of the saber.

“Then don’t use it,” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the galaxy.

Ben met his eyes and saw laughter behind them as he spoke again.

“Heal it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I tried to be as accurate as possible with the appearance of Darth Vader's saber. The whole story of the thief and Acolytes of the Beyond buying a Vader's saber from a thief is listed as canon. The only difference is that it was never confirmed that the thief, Ooblamon, found the correct saber. I just decided to confirm it.  
> -Yupe Tashu was the leader of the Acolytes of the Beyond at the time and was also involved with the Contingency Plan. He was tricked into putting on a number of Sith relics and then pushed into the bore hole of the planet. I thought he was a perfect character who would want to keep Vader's lightsaber for himself.


	16. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben attempts to heal the red kyber crystal of Darth Vader.
> 
> To all of you lovely readers, thank you all so much again for coming back! Thank you for your kudos and your comments as I start to wrap things up.

The first time Ben tried to heal Darth Vader's kyber crystal was weeks after the mission on Jakku. After the ghost of his grandfather requested him to heal it, the door that trapped him in the chamber was opened and Rey came charging in after him with the others following. By the time she saw him, he had already hidden the other lightsaber in his jacket and Anakin had vanished.

He must have looked shaken because Rey asked him through the bond what was wrong. Chewie said he looked like he had seen a ghost, and he nearly laughed. Instead of answering them, he grabbed some charges from Chewie and placed them around saying that he wanted out of there as quickly as possible. Thankfully, the others followed suit without questions. Once the charges were set, the rest was easy. They left, and the last Observatory imploded. The dunes collapsed and created a new valley to be filled in over time.

As Ben watched the destruction, he felt the burden of the kyber crystal inside his jacket and wondered if it was a good idea to keep it. He felt Rey's concerned gaze, but he didn't look back. He wanted to tell her. She was the only one that he truly trusted, but to tell her meant that she would have to keep secrets from her friends, and he didn't want to put her in that position again.

No. He could handle this himself. He realized then that a part of him desperately wanted to prove that he could do it – heal the crystal – even though he didn't know what that entailed. If he could do this, maybe, just maybe, he could find the confidence to make a life for himself – a life as Ben Solo.

But he had no idea where to start. As far as he knew, the bleeding of a kyber crystal was irreversible, and he had no real guidance on the matter. The only other person trained as a Jedi was his mother, and he couldn't ask her either. Even if she knew anything about it, he didn't want to worry her. He had no idea what the news of holding onto Darth Vader's lightsaber would do to her.

When they returned to Bespin, he fretted over it, and Rey began to notice his distraction. She asked him what he saw on Jakku, but he just wasn't ready to explain. He told her as such, hoping to buy some time to figure things out, but he saw that he hurt her, so instead he resolved to try to heal the crystal sooner rather than later.

His first attempt mirrored the only experience that he had with healing in the Force. When he healed Rey in the Sith temple, he gave her his life Force until her body stitched itself together. He decided it was the best place to start.

Ben locked himself in his room and brought out the lightsaber that he had hidden in his closet. With great care, he opened the chamber where the crystal was and pulled it out.

He gasped when his hand touched the small stone. The darkness emanating from it seeped into his mind. Feelings of rage, hatred, and a burning passion that weren't his own swamped him. He saw flashes in his mind of the many lives that this crystal had taken. They were of all races and walks of life – from the youngest children, to villages of innocents, to prisoners and casualties of war.

The visions and feelings of death reminded him of the first time he used the darkness on that fateful night in Luke's temple, and instead of feeling the need for power, he felt sick. It almost felt as if the crystal knew that he was the grandson of its owner, and it wanted to bond with him to start over again in his darkness.

This crystal felt different than the one he bled for his own lightsaber. His crystal was always screaming in the Force. This one suffered in silence. It almost welcomed the pain. It almost felt like it welcomed the dark side of the Force flowing through it. It still called out to him – or rather it called out to Kylo Ren.

But … he had no desire to fall this time. He resisted its urgings, holding the darkness just at arm's length. He was no longer Kylo Ren. His choice was made, and he hoped he would be enough to heal it.

He began to transfer his life Force into the crystal, bit by bit. Just like he had with Rey, he gave it with the intention to heal. He felt the crystal take hold of it and absorb it, and he was encouraged that he was on the right track. He offered more, and the crystal took it. As it took more of his life Force, he felt its greed grow, and Ben swayed on his feet. He knew he would have to cut the stream off soon, but he still felt the pain of the crystal just as strongly as when he began.

He could give just a bit more…

"Ben!" Rey's voice pulled him from the connection with the crystal and he dropped it. He crashed to his knees, gasping for air, finally realizing that he nearly gave too much.

"Ben, what are you doing?" Rey's voice screamed in front of him. Her hands fluttered over his face. "Ben!"

His mind felt sluggish, and he realized he was most likely on the verge of passing out when a sharp jolt from the Force shot through his chest from Rey's hand. The spike of energy had him blinking her into focus. She was kneeling in front of him, one hand on his chest and one on his shoulder, holding him up.

"Rey…"

"What were you thinking?!" she yelled at him. She looked down at the red kyber crystal on the floor where it fell. "Where did you get that? Is that a kyber crystal?"

He stayed silent through her panic, wondering what he would say to her. Not only did he fail in his attempt to heal it, but he failed in not telling her. He saw that now. It seemed he still couldn't do things right.

"Ben," her eyes widened at a new thought and he felt a sudden cold fear from her in the Force, "Ben did you… bleed it?"

His head was shaking furiously before she finished her question. "No! No, I swore I would never do that again." Ben opened himself completely in the bond, letting her see the truth inside him. She relaxed marginally, but he still felt her distress.

"I don't understand, Ben," she said, "I felt a strong darkness from your side of the bond and then I felt your energy weakening! I had to break the lock on your door, and then I find you in here with a red kyber crystal that you say isn't yours and you nearly passed out on me!"

Ben sighed in regret and exhaustion. Her spike of energy was enough to keep him awake but he would still need a long nap after this. He looked up slowly and met her eyes.

"What is going on?" she pushed. "You've been acting strange since Jakku. Your mother has noticed too. What aren't you telling me? What happened?"

Ben huffed a small chuckle. His brain really must have been low on energy or something if he found the first time someone fussed over him in decades amusing.

"Ben, this isn't funny," she said, concern coloring her features. "Do I need to get a med droid in here?"

"No, no," he smiled at her, "I'm just really tired."

He looked at where both of them were currently seated and thought that this was not a conversation for the floor. "Do you mind if we sit on the bed?"

She nodded and rushed to help him stand. He was wobbly on his feet, but he made it without protest. When he sat, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

"Ben," Rey's voice dragged his eyes open again. "Please tell me what's going on, and please don't lie to me."

Ben let out a heavy sigh. "I never lied to you, Rey."

So he told her. He told her everything from the moment the door shut behind him, trapping him with the sentinel droid, to the moment it opened and she came for him. He leaned down and picked up the kyber crystal on the floor. It still felt the same in the Force. He changed nothing. Rey watched as he placed it on the table beside him.

"I wanted to heal it," he told her, "and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I just… wanted to try this on my own. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. That I changed."

"Oh, Ben," Rey said, pulling his chin to look at her. "You have changed. You don't need to heal that kyber crystal to tell you that."

"I know," he said, "I do know. I just wanted to do this." He ran his hands through his hair. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was afraid. If you immediately thought that I bled it, what would the others think?"

"I'm sorry," Rey said quietly, "You scared me, and I sort of panicked. I understand why you didn't tell anyone."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he replied. They sat in silence for a long moment and Ben took a shameful amount of comfort from her presence beside him. He could feel himself getting more tired.

"I still want to try again," he whispered.

"Ben, no," she said, "you can't. Not if it does that to you every time."

"I won't do what I did again," he told her.

"What did you do?"

"I tried to heal it the only way I knew how," he said. "How you showed me – I gave it my life Force. But apparently, that wasn't right."

She laughed at him, and he smiled at the sound. "Apparently," she agreed. He watched her brow furrow in thought and decided she looked adorable. He was surprised at the sudden urge to kiss the lines there.

"The crystal bleeds in darkness, right?" she asked. He nodded. "So maybe it needs light, not just life, but light specifically."

Ben turned her words over in his mind. He was at once grateful and ashamed. Why couldn't he have come to her in the first place? He might have needed to heal the crystal on his own, but her support and opinions were something he shouldn't do without. He still had so much to learn about depending on others. He sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

"I really should have just told you," he mumbled. "I wouldn't have gotten into this mess."

"Yes," she said with a smile in her voice, "you should have."

She pulled him down to the bed beside her, and he fell asleep with her fingers brushing through his hair.

…

The second time Ben decided to attempt to heal his grandfather's crystal was on the _Millennium Falcon_. He and Rey discussed the best approach for Ben to take this time. Rey spent the weeks after their initial conversation pouring over the old Jedi texts with him, but they never found a hint that pointed them in the right direction. All they had was their logic and intuition.

Rey suggested that he should find everything in himself that was not the darkness and focus on bringing out those aspects. She asked him where he would feel the most at peace, where he thought the best place of serenity and harmony would be. He was skeptical that finding such a place would exist, or that it would even help him try to figure out his task, but he decided to trust her instinct.

He spent a long time thinking about a place that he would feel most at peace, but there was no planet, or moon, or ship that felt right. None that is, except for his father's ship in the middle of nowhere amongst the stars. He told Rey and he wondered at her enthusiasm to help him. She smiled that smile that made his knees weak and said that she would find Chewie.

Two days later found the three of them sailing through open space on the ship that he grew up on. She told him that Chewie only knew the basics – that he was trying a new Jedi training technique, and he wanted to be somewhere he felt safe. Chewie said that's all he needed to know.

"Reach out if you need me," Rey said when he decided to begin.

"I will," he promised as he watched her turn to leave.

Ben decided that the best place to do this was in his bunk that he claimed as a child when Han would let him along on some of his trips. He closed his eyes and let the memories and sounds of the ship floating through space lulled him into a peaceful trance. It was not lost on him that he felt safest on the ship he hated most only a little over a year ago. He marveled at how much he had changed over that time.

Yes, he could do this. He pulled the red crystal from his pocket and sat with it in his hands. His legs crossed and back straightened.

Once again he felt the darkness from the crystal and its desire for him to bond with that darkness. It called to him, but again, he refused to rise to the bait. Instead, he pulled in the Force around him and infused it with the peace he felt, making it brighter and brighter. Then carefully, oh so carefully, he funneled the light of the Force into the small crystal in his hands.

At first, he felt no change in the stone. But he had patience now, and he would continue to press in with the light in hopes of weakening the darkness or even forcing it out. Something shifted when he reached a critical point.

The darkness in the crystal began to fight back. Expecting something like this, Ben steadied himself and pushed harder against the shadow. He fell into a deeper meditation and began to pull in the deeper levels of the light.

The darkness in the crystal fought harder. It reached out with its anguish, and the pain that ran deep through the crystal's Force signature forced its way into his mind. It imbued him with the knowledge that it had suffered so long in torment by simply doing what was required of it. Ben suddenly felt that if it were saved, if it were healed, what would be the point of its suffering?

He heard screaming and realized that it was more than the crystal screaming in his head. He was screaming too. He fought desperately to hold onto it and finish what he started, but something in the Force snapped and his mind was wrenched from the crystal.

He was still sitting on the bunk in the _Falcon_ and he was still alone. His breathing was harsh in his ears and he felt tears running down his face.

 _Rey_ , he reached out through their bond.

She must have been close because she was in the room and in front of him in seconds. Her face looked worried, and he knew that she knew that he failed. 

She silently reached out a hand and wiped the tears from his face. Then, her hands moved down to his and he felt her pry them open. She gasped.

Ben automatically looked down. The crystal was still red, but now so were his hands. They were burned in ugly red welts. The center of his right palm was blackened where the crystal rested.

 _So, that's why I was screaming_ , he thought.

He passively watched as Rey took the crystal and placed it beside him. She closed her eyes and he felt a bit of her life Force pass into his hands, closing and settling the wounds. He couldn't help the sigh that escaped him when the pain left.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "What happened, Ben?" she gently asked.

"I failed, again," his voice scratched out. He cradled his head in his hands. "I always fail."

"You don't always fail," she said softly, "you didn't fail in saving me."

He sighed at the reminder. He knew she was right, but he could feel his mood falling into a deeper depression and he just wanted to be alone. He must have projected the thought louder than he planned because he felt her pull away slowly to stand again. She laid her hand on his arm but he didn't look up.

"I'm going to make some hot chocolate," she said. "Have you had it? I'm sure you have, but I only tried it for the first time a few weeks ago and it is my new favorite drink."

He felt her linger for a moment before she turned to the door. "I'll save you some."

Her presence left the room and he was alone again with his thoughts. Where had he gone wrong? He used the light and his life Force and it still wasn't enough to heal the crystal. Maybe his grandfather was wrong. Maybe he wasn't strong enough. Or maybe he didn't see his grandfather at all and it was just another trick from the dark side of the Force. He angrily scrubbed at his cheeks and glared at the crystal beside him. He should just get rid of it.

"Did you know," a voice said, "that wounded animals are the most vicious creatures. Even when trying to save them, they fight the hardest against it."

Ben froze. He knew the voice all too well. He lifted his head to meet the gaze of Luke Skywalker.

Ben's mind didn't know how to process the appearance of his uncle. He, like Anakin, was oddly transparent and glowing with a bluish tint. He looked different from the last time Ben saw him. He was older, his hair longer, and he wore lighter robes. The sight of the man – ghost, vision, whatever – had Ben clenching his jaw and his hands curling into fists.

"What are you doing here?" he forced through his teeth.

"Easy, kid," Luke said, "I'm already dead."

Ben started to shake with rage. Their confrontation on Crait was nearly two years ago, but the residual emotions he had from that day were never resolved. Ben had to force himself to remember how far he had come since then. He closed his eyes, blocking the man from his sight, and compelled himself to breathe. It took effort, but he slowly began to relax. 

"You're getting better at that," he heard Luke say.

"And you're not helping," Ben countered. "What do you want?"

"You're trying to heal Darth Vader's kyber crystal," he said instead. "How's that going?"

Ben didn't think that question deemed an answer. He looked away and slouched against the back wall of the bunk. That one question made him feel like a student again. It irritated him.

"Could you just say what you came here to say and be done with it," Ben's voice sounded slightly petulant in his ears, but he didn't care. He didn't want to face his uncle.

He heard the ghost give a longsuffering sigh and watched as his form turned to perch on the edge of the bunk. Ben groaned at the implications of a long conversation and the frustration that he could do nothing to make the ghost leave if he didn't want to.

"I read through some of the histories of lightsabers when I was just starting out as a Jedi," Luke said, ignoring Ben’s annoyance. "There was something of a footnote in one of the holobooks from Coruscant. It was about a Jedi knight named Ahsoka Tano who purified two Sith crystals for her dual lightsabers. She was the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker before he became Darth Vader."

Ben immediately sat up at the words, his heart pumping in anticipation. He stared at Luke, waiting for him to finally give him the information he needed, but the ghost fell silent.

"And?" Ben finally asked.

"And nothing," Luke told him. "That was all it said. I don't have any more information."

Ben’s eyes began to sting and closed them. Of course, he wouldn't get the answers he was looking for from Luke. "Then what good are you, old man?"

The ghost laughed. "Not much, I'm afraid."

Ben stole a glance at the man’s face. His mouth was curved in a crooked grin and his eyes were far off in memories that Ben couldn't see. Whatever they were, Ben was certain he was not a part of them.

"But perhaps it doesn't matter," Luke continued. "I'm a Skywalker. And we are good at failing even if we are good at nothing else."

His statement was offered in jest, but the words still stung like they did when he was a child when the voices wouldn’t let him sleep. _Failure, failure, failure._

"Did you know that your grandfather was considered the chosen one?" Luke asked. "It's strange how a chosen bloodline was given such potential to fail at what they do. My father failed as a Jedi and became the worst villain the galaxy ever knew. True, he found the light again at the end and ended the Sith – including himself – but at what cost to the galaxy?"

Ben didn't understand why Luke was saying this. It only furthered his belief that he had been destined to fail.

"I was a powerful Jedi," Luke continued, seemingly unaware of the effect that his words had on Ben, "but I listened to the darkness. When I acted on it that night at the temple, I failed you and brought about the future that I feared in the process."

Ben grimaced. "I don't want to hear this," he said.

"Even your mother's fear consumed her enough to push you further down the path to darkness," the ghost said.

"Stop…" Ben's voice cracked.

"We all failed you," Luke stated. "But you still found your way back to the light."

The only sound that followed was Ben's harsh, uneven breathing. "It's not enough," he said, the words sticking in his throat. "I'm still the man who was Kylo Ren. I murdered hundreds by my own hand and thousands by association. Those were my choices, and it doesn't matter if I spend the rest of my life trying to atone for my mistakes. I will never get there. You should have killed me. Maybe none of this would have happened."

By the end of his speech, Ben realized he was shaking again, but this was more out of grief and shame. His eyes were wet, but he stubbornly refused to let the tears fall.

"What about Rey?" Luke's question brought Ben's eyes up.

"What about her?" he demanded.

"Didn't you save her?" Luke asked.

Ben rolled his eyes. "Yes." But he still felt it wasn't enough.

"You did what my father could not," Luke said.

Ben huffed. "Yes," he spat, "I saved the woman I loved, but that doesn't atone for anything."

"Even though she's a Palpatine?" Luke questioned him.

Ben's eyes furrowed. "What does that mean? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh, Ben," Luke said. "It has always meant everything."

He just stared, uncomprehending. Luke leaned toward him.

"It has always been this, Ben – the fight between the Light and the Dark," Luke said. "For thousands of years the Jedi fought the darkness, until one day, the Sith were no more. For a thousand years after that, it was thought that the Sith were extinct. In that time, the Jedi became too powerful. Their systems became bureaucratic, and too many ancient practices of how to be balanced in the Force slipped through their fingers. They became stuck in their ways and their numbers grew.

Palpatine grew to match their unbalanced light in the shadows. He grew in power until he was strong enough to wipe them out. The Force chose my father, your grandfather, to balance it, but he was not what the Jedi expected. He was emotional, passionate, and had too many dark impulses to contend with.

When Anakin fell to the dark side, he tipped the scale of balance in the other direction until he turned to the light in the end and ended the Sith. For a while, there was balance. As you know, I tried to rebuild the Jedi, but what I didn't know was that Palpatine survived. And I didn't know that he had targeted you – a boy whose light was as powerful as the dark, a boy of great legacy in both sides of the Force. You never fit wholly in the light, and could never fully commit to the dark. None of us could see your struggle. We only sought to bring out the qualities in you that we wanted to see."

"Rey saw me," Ben said. "She saved me."

Luke smiled. "And you saved her in return. You brought balance."

Ben bit his lip and shook his head. "I didn't. I didn't kill the Emperor."

"No, you didn't," Luke's eyes burned with purpose, "You did what your grandfather did not." He tilted his head and studied Ben. "Have you considered what would have happened to Rey if you had not gone to her?"

Luke paused like he was waiting for him to answer, but Ben didn’t need to. They both knew what would have happened. Luke nodded as if he heard his thoughts, "She would have fallen and would have become the worst threat this galaxy would ever know."

"Ben," Luke waited until he met his gaze, "you saved her not only from death but from her darkness. Anakin was the chosen one. He was prophesied to bring balance to the Force, but he also loved Padme, and that love drove him to fear losing her and he turned to the dark side in the attempt to save her. He may have temporarily defeated Palpatine at the end, but if he would have chosen self sacrifice over the dark side from the beginning, Palpatine may have been defeated long before any of this. If he stood against Palpatine instead of joining him, he would have utterly destroyed him, and he may have saved Padme. But that didn’t happen.

You turned back to the light and finished what he started. Love can bring back those we love. I brought my father back through love. Rey and your mother brought Kylo Ren back through love. And you held back the last Palpatine from the darkness through love. In the end, you, the last Skywalker, saved Rey, the last Palpatine, and brought balance to the Force. You finished what your grandfather started."

Ben's eyes widened. Did he really do what Luke was suggesting? And without even realizing it? Ben's jaw worked as his mind tried to process the information. It felt true, and it felt right, even if it felt strange to acknowledge.

The young man on the bunk watched as his uncle picked up the red crystal beside him and considered it. "So how do you heal a kyber crystal?"

His hands reached towards Ben's hands in his lap and dropped it in them. The corner of his mouth curved upward as he looked at his nephew. "It almost seems insignificant compared to what you have already done."

Ben was still staring in shock as Luke moved to put a ghostly hand on his shoulder. He was surprised that it felt whole and heavy. He was even more surprised to feel an overwhelming sense of love from the dead man before him.

"It's time to forgive yourself, Ben," Luke charged him. "It's time to forgive everything that has happened."

Ben's voice was small and unsure when he spoke, "But I don't deserve forgiveness."

Luke squeezed his shoulder and smiled sadly. "Neither do I," he said, "but thankfully, forgiveness is never about whether or not someone deserves it. It's a choice. Only you have the power to give it. And only you have the power to let it free you."

He watched as his uncle stood in front of him. The ghost drew himself to his full height and Ben couldn't help but think that he looked like the legend that Luke Skywalker was meant to be.

"I'm sorry," Ben whispered, knowing somehow that this was goodbye.

"I'm sorry too, kid," Luke said, "but I forgave you a long time ago."

The words hit Ben harder than he expected and his eyes stung again. He had to bite his lip to keep them from leaking.

"See you 'round, kid," Luke said to his nephew. He winked.

Then Ben blinked and Luke was gone.

Alone in the confines of the room, Ben let the tears he was holding back fall. As they fell, he felt something inside of him release.

He let his eyes close as he thought about his uncle's words. Maybe it was time to face everything in his past.

He thought of his grandfather and what he knew of him as a Jedi. Anakin Skywalker was one of the most powerful Jedi of his time. He was a true hero in the clone wars, best friend to Obi-Wan Kenobi – his name's sake – and husband to Padmé. He was also one of the most dangerous and evil Sith to rule the galaxy. He killed more people than Ben would ever know and terrorized so many more. But he also saved his son from certain death at the hands of the Emperor. He killed the Sith and ended himself in the process.

Ben took a mental step back from the picture of Anakin's life and saw the legacy for what it was – he was a man who made terrible decisions in the name of love, justice, and security. He was also a man who made the right decisions for the same reasons. He saw himself in the shadows of this man, saw the tethers that tied him to this legacy, and he detached himself from them.

He thought of his uncle. He thought back to that horrible nightmare of a night where he awoke to the man standing above him with a lightsaber. He made himself look past the sheer panic that he felt in that bed and saw the doubt in his uncle's eyes and his first instance of shame.

He thought of his uncle alone in the many years after that night, and how he hid himself away from the galaxy. He saw that he feared most of all failing another student in his training.

Ben thought of their last confrontation on Crait. Deep down, Kylo Ren was hurt that his uncle hadn't come for him how he wanted, and he was humiliated when he realized that Luke had tricked him. He saw now that Luke couldn't have come for him then. Luke came to ensure the Resistance would continue, but Ben could also see that he did something for him too. By not coming in person, Luke's death was not on Ben's hands, and he was so grateful for that fact.

Ben could see his uncle now as just that – his uncle. He was a man who made the right decisions to save his father and the wrong ones to push his nephew to the darkness. These were Luke's decisions, and while Ben had to live with their consequences, he could choose to no longer be ruled by them. He separated himself from them, promising himself to forge a new path outside of their influence.

Ben thought of his parents next. He thought of how much he loved them even when he lashed out at them for leaving him behind. He thought of his mother and how much he missed her even when she was right in front of him. He thought of Han and how he hated seeing him leave time and time again with never much of a goodbye.

He thought of how much his perception of their wrongs against him had changed over the last year and how much the pain of those actions had lessened. With a jolt, he realized that he had already forgiven them. That was why his relationship with his mother had grown so much. And that was why he was able to mourn his father without resentment. 

That also meant that he was only left with himself. He took in a huge gulp of air and held it before letting it out.

Ben let every decision that he ever made pass through his mind and stood back to see them from another perspective. It was staggering to see how many times he felt that he had no choice but the wrong one, and how much of those choices were manipulated. Instead of getting angry and hurt by this, he let it wash under him, like a river under a bridge.

He let it all pass by him until he came to his biggest shame and most painful memory – the death of his father. This was something he could never atone for. It was a mark on his soul that would never disappear, a regret that he was sure would never leave him. He could still feel the imprint of Han's hand as he caressed his face. But seeing that moment again and the memory of Han on the Death Star in his mind’s eye, Ben knew that his father forgave him. He also knew that his mother forgave him, even though he never deserved it.

How do you let go of the worst mistake of your life if you know it will haunt you anyways? He had to accept it. He accepted that the worst version of himself was on that bridge. He accepted the guilt, accepted the pain, and grief that came with it. And he accepted that he would never be able to change the past.

But he also accepted that he was no longer that person. He was not Kylo Ren. He had to let him and all of his anger with him… go.

He would move on; maybe that was the secret of it all. He didn't have to live under the burden of the decisions made by those before him. He would never forget what he did, but he didn't have to live in the shadow of his past. He would do what he could to make up for the loss he created in the galaxy. He would take responsibility for his actions, but he did not have to continue to _be_ who he was in the past to do this. He could forgive himself.

He would move forward as Ben Solo – the man he was born to be.

Ben slowly opened his eyes. He felt as if the weight of a thousand years suddenly slipped off of his shoulders, and he was dizzy in the lightness of it.

His fingers fluttered over something in his palm and he realized he must have still been holding the crystal. He opened his hand and looked down at it.

It was white.

Ben leaped off of the bunk and charged out of the room, stumbling and nearly tripping over himself in his haste.

"Ben?" he heard Rey from somewhere behind him but he didn't stop. He heard her following.

He rounded a corner into the main hold and went immediately for his pack on the floor by the Dejarik table. He ripped it open and dug for the hilt of the lightsaber.

His hands were trembling as he removed the covering for the crystal and he quickly tried to calm himself as he carefully placed the stone inside and sealed the covering again.

He looked up at Rey and she looked back at him with something between concern and amusement. Ben was breathing harshly as he held the saber hilt before him and hovered his thumb over the trigger. He pressed it.

The blade that emerged and hummed from the chamber was a brilliant white. He stared in awe and twirled it around him, testing the weight of it. The crystal reached out to him and he felt its contentment and peace from finally being healed. He heard himself laughing as he disengaged the blade.

"You did it," Rey's said.

She was close to his side as she watched him handle the saber with ease. Her eyes danced with happiness and he felt a sense of pride from her flowing through the bond in the Force. He couldn't stop smiling.

When she stepped closer to him he held the hilt out for her to hold. She took it, almost reverently, and hovered a hand over the crystal's chamber and closed her eyes.

"It's no longer suffering," she said. Her eyes found his eyes and she searched them slowly. Her hand that hovered over the weapon moved and hovered just over his heart. "Just as you aren't anymore."

Maybe it was the endorphins released in his brain at his sense of victory; maybe it was the way the bond hummed between them, reminding him once again of coming home; or maybe it was the way her eyes glistened like the stars – whatever it was, Ben reached for her and kissed her with all the love that he wanted to share with her since the temple at Exegol.

He didn't stop until he felt her slightly pull away. He immediately came back to his senses and stepped back before stuttering out his apology.

"I'm so sorry," he faltered over his words. "I don't know what I was doing – why I did that. I just – but I wanted to since – "

He stopped when her hand reached up and gently rested over his lip. He realized she was trying not to laugh at him.

"I wondered when you would kiss me again, Ben Solo," Rey said, her eyes teasing him.

In his flustered state, he said the only thing that came to mind. "But you kissed me."

She laughed out loud. "You're right. I'll rephrase that… I wondered when you would kiss me, Ben Solo."

She stepped into his space and her fingers combed through his bangs and touched his cheek where his scar once was. He felt his face and ears heat up.

"I'm sorry – I mean I'm not sorry for kissing you. I'm just sorry that I waited so long, even though I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you a lot – " he clamped his jaw shut to stop his rambling. What was wrong with him? He never rambled before in his life. He took a deep breath and rested his forehead against Rey's, drinking in the closeness that he never wanted to go away.

"I guess…" he stuttered to a halt again rolled his eyes at his inability to get the words out. "I guess I just wasn't ready," he confessed, smiling sheepishly.

"Ben," she looked up at him as she placed the saber on the table beside them. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his arms wrapped around her waist in response. "I would have waited for you forever. There is no one else. Just you."

Ben thought he could get used to this kind of happiness.

"Just you," he agreed.

He kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so proud of Ben Solo. He is a character that I feel is capable of great things and it still makes me sad to think that he died without really getting to experience all of this. 
> 
> Don't worry! I still have one more inclusion for this story as a chapter/epilogue. Please come back to see him one more time! Thank you all again, you are all amazing!


	17. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, my lovely readers... this is it. I can't thank you all enough for staying on 'til the end. 
> 
> As for the summary of this chapter...
> 
> Ben lives.

_ A Dyad in the Force _

_A dyad, in the simplest definition, is something that consists of two elements or parts. In the Force, it is the pairing of two souls, making them the same – two that are one. It is a bond that connects the minds of two individuals across time and space, making it possible to see and hear the other at any distance. It is extremely rare, and little was known of such a bond for thousands of years._

_In the past, the knowledge of the Dyad was most sought after by the Sith. Long before the age of the Resistance and the First Order, the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Plagueis, had attempted to create a Dyad within himself and his apprentice Darth Sidious, but his attempt was unsuccessful. Later, Darth Sidious attempted to create a Dyad with his apprentice Anakin Skywalker, yet he also failed to do so. It is unclear how they attempted such a feat; that knowledge was lost when the last of the Sith were destroyed._

_If there were any concrete records of Dyads in the Force before the attempts made by Darth Plagueis, they have been long forgotten or destroyed. We now only have a myth regarding the last known instance of such a bond. It was said that the last true Dyad was between a Sith, Darth Revan, and a Jedi, Bastila Shan, created when Shan kept Revan from certain death. (More information on their story can be found in the Encyclopedia of Mythology of the Force)._

_It was said, though, that this type of bond would be made again. In an ancient Sith holocron in the possession of the dark Lord Sidious, a prophecy was made that a Dyad would rise in the Force at a time when balance was needed. It would be stronger than the bond between Master and Apprentice; a bond like Life itself. In the time that this Dyad arose, the only people who knew of such a bond were Darth Sidious (thought to be dead at the time), and Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order._

_The connection of the only known Dyad in the Era after the Galactic Empire was between a Force-sensitive scavenger and a dark-sider known as Kylo Ren (born as Ben Solo) – two beings on opposite sides of a war. Originally, it was thought that their first meeting created the connection between the two when Ren invaded the mind of Rey for information. After further discussion and years of study, it was revealed that the bond was there long before that. There were many instances of feelings, dreams, and thoughts that had originated in the partner’s mind. An example would be when Rey, a young teen at the time, felt Ben Solo fall to darkness to become Kylo Ren. This suggests that the bond was created by the Force itself at the birth of the two individuals._

_After the initial connection between their two minds, the two were randomly connected over time and space. They could physically see and interact with one another, appearing to the other as if through teleportation. These connections along with other circumstances led to the redemption of Ben Solo._

_Their power in the bond uniquely linked them in times of crisis, battle, and love. When in combat, the two have the capability to literally become one in mind and movement, passing objects and knowledge seamlessly across time and space. With much practice and meditation, the two individuals are able to see through the other’s…_

_…_

Jedi Master Ben Solo looked up from the book he was writing in, feeling like something nudged him. He straightened his back from his slouched position and rolled his neck to stretch out the kinks. His eyes wandered around the main hold of the _Millennium Falcon_ and came to rest on the Dejarik table that he was currently using as a desk. He dropped the ink quill in his hand and massaged his knuckles, hoping that he wasn’t developing some kind of arthritis. He was still much too young to have to deal with that.

“I’m headed out to Kashi Station to pick up the power converters that we ordered,” Rey’s voice echoed through the halls.

They must have landed without Ben noticing. He and Rey were the only two aboard. When Chewie “retired” a few years ago from what he said was too “exciting” of a life for an old beast like him, he left the _Falcon_ to him and Rey.

 _Take care of her, kids,_ he said, handing over the keys. _I’ll visit often to ensure it._

And Chewie was true to his word, dropping by to see them often and perhaps fly with Ben on one of his relief drops.

But this was somewhat of a special trip. He and Rey had plans to get away for a week – Rey’s early birthday present to him – but they also promised Finn that they would return to Akjir with six new power converters so that he could finish working on the speeders for the students to use. So here they were, on Falleen, picking up supplies and fuel for a trip to an abandoned Jedi temple that Finn found in some old archives. He and Rey often had to mix business with pleasure these days. But he never minded.

Ben looked up as his wife of nearly ten years peeked her head through the doorway.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Rey asked. Her hair was nearly twice as long as when Ben first met her when she kept it up in three buns. Today it was pleated in two braids at either temple, joined at the back, and the rest of it flowing over one shoulder. Her tunic and wrap around her shoulders were a dark blue with dark grey trousers underneath. Her lightsaber, as always, was hooked at her belt.

He considered her question again, thinking that it would be nice to hold her hand as they walked through the open market, but he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, and the thought of large crowds was exhausting. “I’m sure,” he said eventually, “but thanks. I’ll just be here working on this.”

“Suit yourself,” she said and then smiled suggestively. “I won’t be long.”

Ben felt his body heat up slightly at her tone and he watched her walk away with interest. He smiled to himself as he turned back to his work.

Ben picked up the quill again and studied it. It was the first gift Rey had gotten him after their engagement on his thirty-second birthday. His mother remembered his love of calligraphy and told Rey about it. It was one of the best gifts she had ever given him. He got into a habit of writing again, and pretty soon he found himself writing down everything, starting with his own story. It started out as a therapeutic practice to help him sort out his past, but then Rey realized that if the Jedi were to continue in some form, their history would have to be written, starting with their new beginnings.

He took up the task himself. While Rey stayed in the limelight as the face and voice of the new Jedi Order, Ben was content to operate in the background. For the first three years or so after their mission on Jakku, Ben split his time between carrying shipments of relief supplies with Lando and searching for a place to settle a new Jedi Temple. Ben thought that Rey should set it up somewhere in the Core Systems, but she was adamant that they would find a place where Ben could go too.

Eventually, Ben came across a small planet called near the Zolan System. It was the third planet of the Akjir system located between Naboo and Mon Gazza near the Correlian Run in the far reaches of the Mid Rim. It was a sparsely populated planet with a native people that was more concerned about exotic wildlife and protecting their green pastures than the affairs of the politics of the galaxy. They were one of the few planets untouched by the galactic war.

After meeting with the government there, he and Rey explained that they wished to set up a temple to teach young students from across the galaxy. The people there had a very spiritual community and were curious about the ways of the Force. They allotted the new Jedi a large section of land in the valley of a mountain range to build on with the promise to leave the wildlife alone and teaching their local villages of what they knew of the Force. He and Rey were more than willing to agree to the terms.

They built the temple from the stone in the mountain quarries over the next two years. During that time, Rey began to teach Finn, Jannah, and Tem the ways of the Force with Ben’s aid. When the temple was completed, Rey asked Ben to start looking for their new students. So when Ben was out on his supply runs, he also looked for prospective apprentices. Their school now had eight children – two apprentices to a knight, all under the age of fourteen.

Ben had yet to take on an apprentice. He made it his business instead to record everything about the temple and their new Order – from their progress of training and teaching to the codes that they had chosen to work under.

He and Rey spent many nights discussing the old Jedi ways and neither could find peace about following them to the letter. It was true that much of the logistics of the old Order were useful, but their beliefs were not fully inclusive of who they were. They both had characteristics that would never allow them to fully sway to one side or the other. Even Rey, who trained under Leia, found that the old Jedi teachings didn’t match what they needed to practice – a balance.

They needed to figure out how to balance the Force within themselves as well as in their bond. As a Dyad, where the bond itself was a representation of Life, such strong veins of both light and darkness streaked through each of them. To keep that balance, the organization that they would build would have to accept that there was darkness and learn how to keep it in check.

While he sat reminiscing, Ben recited the Grey Code again to himself:

_Flowing through all, there is balance.  
There is no peace without a passion to create.  
There is no passion without peace to guide.  
Knowledge fades without the strength to act.  
Power blinds without the serenity to see.  
There is no good without evil,  
but evil must not be allowed to flourish.  
There is freedom in life.  
There is purpose in death.  
I am one with the Force. The Force is in me. _

It was a modification of an old code that they found from the ancient Grey Jedi. Luke was right. The old ways needed to change, or perhaps, go back to how it was meant to be. They taught this new code to their students as a way to live, but Ben also thought that it was also important to teach them the history of the Jedi and the Sith, so that the students could know why the Old Ways should remain a part of the past.

Ben looked down at the passage he was currently writing when he felt it again – a small nudge in the Force.

And something was wrong.

Ben quickly stood while putting the pen down and closing the book. With his lightsaber over his shoulder and a blaster at his side, he left the _Falcon_ and followed his instincts out of the port and into the main square of the odd little bazaar.

Rey loved this place. The whole square was swimming in vibrant colors and lively music and rich smells of hundreds of different types of food and drink. The booths were packed in close together with peoples of all different races and trades ranging from the finest cloth work to the grungiest tech smiths.

The whole place made Ben nervous. There were so many things to keep track of – noises, wandering hands, and possible threats. He was glad that he had the Force to help contend with the mayhem.

Speaking of which, there was a large mob of people ahead of him surrounding something that Ben felt was the cause of his discomfort. The longer Ben looked, the more people pressed in to see whatever was happening. He quickly reached out in his mind to find Rey and was relieved that her signature was radiating from the other direction. Whatever this was, it was meant for _him_ to find.

Slowly, Ben pressed through the crowd, ignoring the comments as he did. Soon the path opened up before him and he saw the damage. Literally. It looked like an invisible bomb went off inside one of the booths that sold some kind of technological jewelry. The pieces were strewn outward and at the epicenter was a woman on the ground with a growing bruise on her face, a large, balding man standing above her and a boy standing between them.

The man’s hands were clenched in the boy’s tunic. His face was red and his mouth screamed curses and insults at him. There were tears running down the boy’s face and his countenance was screwed up in fear and anger. That’s when he felt it, the reason for the prodding in the Force. The boy was vibrating with rage, sending out waves of it through the Force and almost calling out for help. Ben put the pieces together quickly. The man was likely the reason for the woman hurt on the ground, but the boy was the reason for the explosion in the Force. He tuned into what the man was saying…

“How dare you ruin my business, you cursed piece of fodder?!” He screamed. “I should end you now, make an example that no one will forget. Let them know that you are nothing more than a freak!”

The man raised his arm to backhand the boy and Ben decided he had seen enough. He raised his own hand and the man froze just as he was inches away from the boy’s face.

A collective gasp followed by murmurs of “Jedi” and “Force” brought his attention to the crowd around them. “There is nothing to see here,” he said as he pushed outward with Force persuasion. “Go about your business.”

Those who were weaker-minded heard the command and left the mob. Those who were stronger trickled away as more and more people left them exposed. Soon there were just the four of them in the wreckage of the booth.

Ben looked down at the woman still sprawled on the ground. She was dressed in bright reds and oranges and colorfully adorned with a number of different pieces of jewelry. Beneath thick makeup, her left eye was showing signs of swelling from the hit that she received. She looked up at all of them in fear.

Ben reached out a hand to her slowly, showing that meant no harm, but she scrambled away, pulled herself up and ran from the vicinity. He watched her exit and then turned to the boy and the man there. The boy’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Ben and his breathing was harsh and irregular. Ben glanced between the boy and the man still frozen in the Force and addressed them.

“Would you like to tell me what happened here?” he said, eyes landing on the boy. The question brought the boy out of his stupor and the air was filled once again with anger and fear. The boy recoiled and glowered at Ben.

“I’m done answering to people,” he seethed, and Ben was struck with the familiarity of the sentiment. The child brought himself to his full height and puffed out his chest, and Ben felt the warning in the Force before it happened. Another burst of energy, this one aimed directly at him, erupted from the boy. Ben stood firm against it, and it did little more than waft at his hair and clothes. He was surprised at the power behind it. If Ben hadn’t trained against such attacks, he knew that he wouldn’t be much better off than the mess around him.

The boy recoiled a bit when he realized that Ben was not affected by the blast, and Ben decided to change his tactic. He released his hold on the older man’s head.

“Who do you think you are, coming here to terrorize me?” the man said as soon as he realized he was free to speak.

“What happened here?” Ben asked in response .

“You do not scare me, kriffing Jedi,” he fumed. He made a pathetic attempt to spit at Ben, but the saliva only flew to the ground in front of him while Ben stood off to the side.

Ben took in the man’s sweat glistening as it fell down his forehead, the tightness of his muscles in his neck, and his inability to look at him. Fear told a lot about a person. He looked to the young boy again and met the eyes that were now glued to Ben in awe. Apparently, the boy hadn’t realized what he was until the man said something. He sighed.

“Is someone going to tell me what happened? Or do I have to guess?” he asked again, aiming his question mostly at the man.

“He beat the woman,” the boy said, tongue aptly loosened. “He beat her and I told him to stop. It wasn’t her fault that my father can’t handle my mother being gone. That’s all he’s done since she died. He beats me, and he beats the women he brings home.”

By the end of the boy’s speech, Ben could feel his own rage building. The man recoiled as much as he could while unable to move.

“Is this true?” Ben asked the man, breathing deeply to keep his own emotions calm. It would do no good for the boy to subconsciously feed off of his feelings.

“What I do with my son is no concern of yours, Jedi,” the man spat.

“Actually it is,” Ben said. “The Force is strong with your son. The ripples that he created called me here.” Ben looked at the boy, and he could see the rage in him turning to fear at his words. He laid a hand on the boy’s shoulder in an effort to help calm him. The boy’s eyes were round and wet when they looked up at him.

“You have no right to hold me here like this, Jedi scum,” the man said, his voice turning scornful and haughty. “Just wait till I tell the authorities. They will lock you up for this. You and the boy! No one should have that kind of power. You freaks. You monsters!”

Ben sighed at the insults and flicked his wrist to shut the man up again. He watched with amusement for a moment as the man’s face turned red trying to force his way out of his hold. Turning away from him, he knelt down next to the boy making sure he had his full attention.

“What’s your name?” he asked. He could feel the boy trembling underneath his hand that was still on his shoulder.

“Marcus,” he answered.

“Marcus, it’s good to meet you,” he replied. “I’m Ben.” He gestured to the remnants of the Force explosion around him. “Did you cause this, Marcus?”

Tears began to stream down Marcus’s face and he wrung his hands together in something of an effort to stop the shaking. Marcus’s eyes kept glancing up at the man who was his father and the fear gave way to anger, then gave way to fear, then to anger, and to fear again.

Ben let out a silent breath. He knew first-hand the effect that a father’s words had on his children.

“I didn’t mean to,” Marcus finally answered. His voice was so soft that Ben almost missed it entirely.

He moved the hand on the boy’s shoulder to lift his chin so that he could see him. “But you did, didn’t you?” He said. He made sure to be as gentle as possible in his questioning. “You wanted it to end.”

The boy began to sob in response. “I’m a monster,” he said between his hiccups and tears.

Ben’s heart shattered at the words that echoed around his head in the deep canyons of his past. He felt his lip tremble but reigned in his pain so that the boy would not suffer needlessly. He breathed in deeply and brought the boy’s eyes up to meet his again.

“You are not a monster,” he stated with more conviction than he ever felt. “I have seen monsters. I have known monsters, and I’ve defeated them. And you are not one of them. You are just a boy who doesn’t know how to handle what is inside him.”

He reached out and wiped away some of the tears.

“If you want, I can help you,” Ben continued. “If you want, I can take you away from here to a place where you can learn about the power that is in you. You can learn to live in harmony with it.”

Marcus’s sobs had lessened to slight hiccups. “I’d learn to be a Jedi?”

“If you would want that, eventually yes,” he said.

“But Jedi are evil,” Marcus said.

“No they aren’t,” Ben said, smiling, “that’s just what some people say about them who are afraid.”

The young boy was shaking his head now. “But I can’t,” he sobbed again.

“Why is that?” Ben asked, brow furrowing.

Instead of answering with words, he answered with his feelings. Ben didn’t know if the boy was doing it consciously, but he felt through the Force all of the fear and doubt the boy had of himself. Marcus afraid of what would happen if he kept losing control. Ben could relate.

“Ah, I see,” he said quietly, eyes softening. “How old are you, Marcus?”

The boy sniffed and rubbed a sleeve over his face. “I’m ten.”

Ben smiled. “Would you like to know something?” he asked, leaning in closer to the boy. He waited until Marcus nodded. “I was your age when I started to train in the ways of the Force, but I didn’t become a Jedi for many, many years after that. I first had to learn how to take the good and the bad inside me and balance them so that I could be at peace. If you want to learn how to do that, I can take you to a place where you can learn. And after you learn to live in peace with yourself, then you can decide if you would like to continue to learn to become a Jedi.”

Marcus stared at him with his large eyes, and Ben could feel a spark of hope in him, but it was quickly snuffed out when the boy made eye contact again with his father.

Ben stood and turned to fully face the man behind him. He completely let go of the man in the Force, and the man stumbled slightly before righting himself.

“I suppose you have something to say about this,” Ben challenged.

The boy’s father squared his shoulders and met Ben’s gaze with disdain. “No son of mine will ever be a Jedi. Get out of my stall, filth.”

“Well Marcus, it seems you have a choice to make,” he said while still holding the man’s gaze. “You can come with me and I will make sure that you are taken care of, or you can stay. If you leave now, you will have a new family and a new way of life. However, I do not want to take you from your father if he truly loves you. If you should choose to stay with him, I will help you clean up this mess and make sure that your father forgets what happened here.”

The man’s face turned a deeper shade of red. “That’s not happening! You can’t do that!”

The man took a step forward but all Ben did to stop him was raise a hand. The man cringed at the sight of it, recognizing that he had nothing to fight with but words.

Ben turned his head to Marcus. “I’m sorry, but your choice must be made now. I’m afraid it won’t come again.” He made sure to lighten his words with an assuring smile. “Take a deep breath, Marcus, and let it out. Feel the decision inside you, and make a choice on what feels right. I will respect your decision either way.”

“If you go with him, boy,” the man snarled. “You will never be my son again.”

The words seemed to give Marcus what he needed to make a decision. “You never were my father, though, were you?” The pain in the boy’s voice had Ben biting the inside of his cheek.

He never turned his gaze from the father, but he felt Marcus’s small, shaking hand entwine in his and he knew his decision before he said it.

“I want to leave,” he said.

Ben nodded. “We will get you some new clothes and other things later. Is there anything else you need?” The Old Ways required the Jedi to have no possessions, but Ben saw no reason for him to not bring something if it would bring him comfort. Marcus simply shook his head no.

“Very well,” he said and placed his arm around the boy. “Let’s go.”

He turned Marcus toward the direction of the _Millennium Falcon_ and took a total of five steps before he felt a warning. In one fluid motion, he drew his lightsaber and spun to block one, two three blaster bolts – the last one aimed at the boy.

Ben reached out a hand and ripped the blaster from the father’s hand and brought up the white blade of his lightsaber until it was barely an inch from his throat. He studied the man, wondering if it was a last attempt at keeping his son with him. Ben could understand that. He would even reconsider his actions and offer to take the man with them and teach him what his son was capable of. He was willing to give him another chance, but the man only leaked hatred – hated enough to kill. Even kill the boy. That was enough for Ben. Even if Marcus changed his mind and said he would not go with Ben, he would have taken him somewhere else – somewhere he would not be in danger.

The commotion brought the attention of the crowd again, and Ben grimaced at the whispers. But he could use them to his advantage.

“You would kill your own son?” he asked the man, his voice low.

“I would kill a Jedi,” the man growled back. “The boy tried to kill me.”

Ben adjusted his grip on the hilt. “The actions of both of you today are not ones that I condone,” he stepped forward threateningly, keeping the tip of his blade at the man’s throat. “But a father knows better. Always.”

“You don’t know me,” the man spat.

“But I do,” Ben said, “and now everyone else here knows what you did.” He glanced around at the crowd. “I’m not sure what happened for you to hate Jedi as much as you do. Frankly, I don’t care. But, if I were you, I’d pack up and leave as quickly as possible. There’s not much business to be had with a man who would kill his son in cold blood.”

With those words, Ben sheathed his saber over his shoulder and guided the boy away from his father and from the crowds.

Ben and Rey would have to wait a bit longer for their trip.

…

“This is Marcus,” Ben introduced. “Marcus, this is Master Finn. He is one of the Jedi knights here who will help to teach you.”

“Hello, Marcus,” Finn greeted. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Marcus nodded in greeting but didn’t offer a verbal response. He spoke very little on the trip back to Akjir. When Ben walked him back to the _Falcon_ , Rey was already waiting for them at the ramp. It only took a few seconds of openness in their bond for Rey to understand what happened. She looked at Ben with such pride, and Ben knew then that he made the right decision to bring the boy. They would take him to the temple and get him settled before they headed out on their own again.

When they reached the planet, he felt Marcus’s trepidation, but also his resolve. The boy took the drastic changes to his life with courage that Ben thought he would be proud of if he were his own son.

And speaking of children…

“Daddy!” a voice screamed as tiny feet came running from the hallway outside of the room.

Ben could never help the smile that lit up his face at the sound of it. He turned and scooped up the squealing little girl just as she would have charged into his leg. She gave him a kiss on his cheek when she was level with him.

“Hello, little princess,” he greeted.

“Daddy, grandma said that you and mommy would be gone for a week,” she said. “Why are you back so soon?”

At the mention of grandma, Ben felt the presence of his mother just before she entered the room herself. She was slower these days, her hair was almost completely white, and she leaned more on her cane, but her mind and wit were as sharp as ever. He smiled his greeting to his mother before turning to answer his five-year-old.

“Well, when mommy and I were picking up the tools for the new speeders, daddy met someone,” he spoke as he set her down on the ground and kneeled beside her. Marcus was watching them intently. “This is Marcus. He will be staying here with us now. Marcus this is my daughter, Luna.”

The boy looked warily down at the girl who was only half his size. Luna, bold as ever, stepped up to him and stuck out her hand. Marcus looked up to Ben in question and he nodded in encouragement. Marcus timidly held out his hand to shake and she grabbed it firmly, shaking it with enthusiasm.

“Hello, Marcus,” Luna said. “Are you going to be a Jedi? You’re lucky. My mommy and daddy are Jedi, but they said I’m too young to start training. But you’re old enough, aren’t you? You look old.”

Ben bit his lip to keep from laughing. Finn did laugh, and Luna looked up at them.

“Can Marcus stay with me?” she asked. She turned back to the older boy. “Do you want to stay with me? We can be friends and play games later.”

Marcus just stared at her, gaping.

“I think it would be best if Marcus had his own room,” Finn said. “That way you can visit him. You can’t visit him if you share the same one. What do you think of that, Marcus?”

“I get my own room?” Marcus asked them.

“Of course, you do,” Ben said. “If you want one.”

Marcus just nodded.

“That’s settled then,” Finn said, “there’s a room at the end of the first hall in the student house.”

“I know where that is,” Luna cried excitedly. “Can I show him? Please?”

“Ok,” Finn agreed, “go ahead and show him. I’ll be right behind you.”

Luna grabbed Marcus’s hand and began to pull the bemused boy toward the door. Ben placed his hands on his hips and did his best to look indignant.

“Hey,” he said before the children reached the door where his mother was standing, “don’t I get a kiss goodbye?”

Luna stopped and turned back to her father. She ran to his arms as he kneeled down to hug her and kiss her forehead.

“So you’ll be gone for a week now?” she asked, her lower lip pouted at the thought.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Ben said, “Mommy and I will be leaving again in a bit. But it looks like you have a new friend to introduce to all of the other students as well. Do you think you can be a good host?”

She nodded proudly. “Yes!”

“Good,” he smiled and kissed her again. “Behave for grandma and the others.”

“I always behave when grandma visits,” she said.

Ben eyed her, knowing how untrue that could be. She giggled at him and kissed his nose before running off to grab Marcus and drag him along with her.

“Make sure you give mommy a kiss goodbye too,” he hollered after her.

Without breaking her stride, Luna turned and waved at him. “Okay, daddy!”

Ben watched her and Marcus go. He always found leaving melancholy. He also was worried, and not just about his daughter. He worried about Marcus and how he would handle staying here. Even if Ben saved him from an abusive father, he still felt horrible for upending his life and ripping a family apart no matter how messed up the situation was.

He looked up to meet his mother’s eyes and he got the idea that she somehow knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I felt the darkness in him,” Finn said aloud, breaking his train of thought. “There’s so much for someone so young.”

Ben let out a heavy sigh. Over the years he and Finn had grown so much in trusting each other. They created a friendship that Ben never saw coming. Finn was the first one besides Rey and his mother to trust him after everything, so he knew that his concern now was not made in suspicion.

“I was that way when I was his age,” he said. He looked at his mother and could see the regret that his statement brought her, but he continued anyway. “He just needs guidance. Not fear. He can learn balance as I did.”

Finn nodded, trusting his judgment. “The only thing is we will have to discuss who would take him as an apprentice. Rey, Jannah, Tem and I already have two each. I suppose we could take turns for a while until – ”

“I’ll take him as an apprentice,” Ben interrupted before he got too far. “I can understand him. Let him get comfortable around the others, and have him practice simple breathing exercises each day until Rey and I get back.”

Finn smiled a little too smugly for Ben’s taste. “Sounds good to me,” he said. “I’ll see you soon. I suppose I better get after them. There’s no telling what that girl of yours will do before I get there.”

Finn winked and Ben grinned back. “I supposed not. See you soon, Master Finn.”

“Master Ben,” Finn nodded his goodbye. He turned and exited the room nodding at Leia as he left.

“Oh, and Ben!” Finn called over his shoulder. “Poe wanted me to remind you that you need to supply the booze for his visit when you get back. He said just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean you can forget your manners.”

Ben just laughed and waved Finn on. Of course, Poe would say that. He had the feeling that this birthday would get a little out of hand.

Ben shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way over to his mother, and she smiled up at him as she leaned on her cane.

“Can I ask you to look after both of them now?” he said knowing in that she understood his reference to their new recruit.

“Of course, I will,” she said. “Although, this is already turning into one of my favorite visits I’ve made here.”

The way she said that made Ben run a hand over his face with a longsuffering sigh. “Oh, no. What did she do?”

Leia laughed. “Nothing you wouldn’t have done at her age.”

“Mom,” he pushed.

She decided to give in. “I found an amphibious creature that she was hiding in her room under her pillow. She said the locals call it a frog. She wanted to keep it, but I convinced her that the wild was better equipped to take care of it.”

Ben bit back a laugh. It wasn’t the first time she brought something home to try to take care of. He had to remember to talk to Rey about finding her a pet. She was probably old enough.

“Sorry,” he said with a grin.

Leia raised an eyebrow at him. “No, you aren’t.”

He watched as her amusement slowly gave way to a quiet delight. “I’m so proud of you, Ben.” Ben knew that she was speaking of more than his daughter now. “You saved that boy in more than one way. He will be loved here.”

He felt stronger at hearing the words, even as his eyes grew wet. He nodded his thanks, not trusting his own voice.

“You look so much like your father,” she said then. Her hand reached out and combed through his hair before cupping his cheek. She spoke again. “He would be proud of you too.”

Ben reached down and held her as he kissed her forehead. “Thanks, mom.”

She pulled back slowly and nodded. “You shouldn’t keep that wife of yours waiting,” she said as she pushed him out into the hall. “I don’t want to see you again until next week.”

“Yes, mom,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I love you.”

“I know,” she said.

Ben left the temple and made his way back to the _Falcon_. As he neared the boarding ramp, a strange feeling of completeness washed over him. In all his years before turning to the light for good, Ben never believed that such a feeling was possible. Through the efforts of the people he now knew as friends and family, the Empire and the First Order were no more. The threat of the Sith no longer cast a shadow across the galaxy. And Ben was free. Ben was free of the claws of darkness that tormented his thoughts for so long. He was free of the mask of Kylo Ren. He was free of the legacy that crushed him. He was free to just be Ben.

Now, he had the freedom to help a little boy who was scared of his darkness. He was free to love that little boy and make sure that he never fell away from the light as he did. He was free to love his family. He was free to love Rey. And he was free to love himself.

He lived.

He climbed the boarding ramp and hit the button to raise it, content to watch it rise before making his way to the cockpit.

Rey was already there waiting for him as she went through the necessary procedures in the copilot seat.

“I take it a certain little girl found you to say goodbye,” he said as he made his way to the pilot’s chair. Just as with every other time he sat there, he thought of his father.

“Yes,” Rey answered his question with a smile, “she was extremely excited to show Marcus around. I got a kiss and a goodbye before she dragged the poor boy away again.”

He smiled back as he went through his part of the takeoff procedure, and they took flight in contented silence. He was more than ready for a trip with just the two of them. They broke atmo and he made the calculations for the jump to hyperspace. After a moment he turned to her.

“I decided to train him myself,” he said, watching her reaction.

Rey smiled brilliantly in return and he couldn’t help but think of the first time she smiled at him like that after he saved her on Exegol. He was, quite literally, a different man now than he was even then. They had both come so far together after such adversity and such loss and loneliness. He found in her his other half – the best part of his soul. He could never live without her again. She saved him in every way possible and gave him the life that he felt he would never deserve. In return, he gave her everything that he had – all his possessions, his heart, his soul, and his name. He was married to Jedi Master Rey Solo. He could never be happier.

“I knew you would,” she said. “You had that look in your eyes.” He reached out to grab her hand and pull her out of the seat so that she was hovering over him. She was beautiful, radiant in a way that still made him melt under her gaze.

“What look was that?” he asked her.

“The one you had when Luna was born,” she answered. “You are a fierce protector, Ben Solo.”

He supposed she was right. She and Luna were his joy – them and the life growing inside her. His large hands grabbed her sides and he kissed her still flat belly where he felt the new spark of life in the Force.

“When do you think we should tell everyone?” she asked him as they drifted in space.

He looked up through his lashes to consider her while resting his chin on her abdomen. She ran her hands through his hair causing him to sigh. “Maybe when we get back,” he whispered.

“Okay,” she agreed, "Though, I'm sure your mother already knows."

He felt her pull at the hair at his temples and she giggled. “Is that another white hair I see?”

Ben jerked back from holding her looking appalled. He grabbed his hair and crossed his eyes in a silly attempt to see it. He growled and playfully pushed her away.

“No more hugs for you,” he scowled, succeeding in making her giggle again.

He checked the computer to see that the calculations were complete. They were set to make the jump to hyperspace.

“Punch it,” he said.

Rey leaned over and pushed the throttle, only to be met with the sound of the hyperdrive whirring and sputtering out.

“Oh come on,” he yelled. “Piece of junk!”

Ben leaned back and walloped a hit to the side of the ship’s interior. To his great satisfaction, the ship revved up and hummed again like it was supposed to. All the while Rey laughed at him. She reached again for the throttle and he lightly slapped her hand away.

“I’ll punch it!” he griped.

Ben Solo leaned forward and pushed the throttle. The stars in the window streaked around them, and _Millennium Falcon_ took off.

_Their laughter echoed through the stars._

_**The End** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few things I wanted to point out in case you missed anything...  
> \- The reference to the Sith Lords trying to create a Dyad is directly mentioned in the TROS novelization which I found fascinating and had to include.  
> \- The reference to Revan and Bastilla is more of a fan theory, but it is a fan theory that I thought was plausible, so I had to include it!  
> \- Rey going to pick up power converters was a play on the line from New Hope where Luke went to pick up power converters at Tashi's Station. (I like subtle bookends.)  
> \- Akjir, the planet where they set up the new Jedi temple, is completely made up. I picked a place on the known map of the Star Wars galaxy and took some liberties.  
> \- I also felt that it was important for them to move forward with the Grey Jedi practices. Otherwise, things would just end up how this whole mess had started.  
> \- I named Ben's first daughter Luna for a very simple reason. Ben would never name one of his children a legacy name, knowing the weight that comes with it. "Rey" to me has always reminded me (and Ben I think) of the Sun, so his daughter would be his Moon. I know that we don't know if the child Rey is carrying is a boy or girl, but I like to think Ben would name them in relation to the stars. That way there would be Ben or "Hope" and his sun, moon, and stars. CALL ME CHEEZY I DARE YOU. anywayssss......
> 
> I just have a few more things to say before this really comes to a close...
> 
> This has been a wonderful experience for me! Firstly, I can't emphasize enough how much I love the character of Ben Solo, and to be able to give him a peaceful end (at least in my mind) is beyond satisfying. These characters mean so much to so many people, and I hope I have done them all justice. 
> 
> I would like to once again thank my lovely beta for helping me throughout this project. You are an amazing bro!
> 
> I have also never posted anything on AO3 before (even though I read from it ALL the time) and it has been a wonderful experience! The feedback you all have given was far beyond anything I expected! Again, I cannot thank you all enough for reading, commenting and leaving kudos on this work! 
> 
> Until we speak again, (like if you comment -- hint, hint) adieu, adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow!


End file.
